So..

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How come we have to learn the rules when it seems that those who play the game best break them all the time?

I don't think they're all uber smart and savvy either- I think some are actually incredibly stupid but bulldoze their way past more diplomatic people (including NTs)... they just come across as ruthless because everyone else is just too busy trying to be coy that they take what they like out of all those half hearted 'oh, if it's not too much troubles's and 'oh, I don't mind's and then discard the rest... after all, everyone else did say they didn't mind..

They say pick your battles, but maybe we should also pick when to be kind too? When to pretend that we haven't successfully read the subtext and smile sweetly and say "that's great! So glad you don't want it..."

well those people you described as bulldozing their way through diplomatic people are referred to be both NTs and AS ppl as 'douchbags' and a$$holes. I think confidence has a lot to do with how much you can get away with. If you were very confident I am sure you can go bulldozing thru situations with little trouble too. when i encounter some stupid ppl who arnt very diplomatic I bulldoze right through them because i dont have time for them.

its the same concept of how if you are very insecure and not confident girls will find you to be creepy and undesirable. Even if you are not good looking, if you are confident it radiates off you and the oppsite sex finds that attractive.....thus by passing your lack of natural good looks.

I think you're right about the confidence; it seems to come from within; a sort of radiant 'I'm the only one in the world that matters' that shines through... and it works because you look at them from outside and you know that whatever you say or do, they won't see why you're upset or why you're making their lives difficult.. which is why so many people don't bother I guess.

I'm not interested in bulldozing; I want a reputation for integrity and being fair. I guess I just want to stand up when people like that try to push me over, but it sometimes feels like their word counts for more... bizarre, I'm falling for their own propaganda!

I don't have time for people who are mean or play games. Being stupid per se isn't a crime, I'm not Einstein myself, but I would love to shake people who walk over others as if they literally didn't exist- I honestly thought that died out in American High School movies, but obviously I've just been living under a rock for the last 10 years without realising...



I kind of get what you mean. Wish I didn't... means I've got a hell of a lot more work cut out for me than I thought... like getting to the top and realising you're at Base Camp.. thanks anyway for the response Mike- it helped!

yeah I know the confidence part is true because Ive lived it. In early high school i was unconfident and quiet and some girls thought i was creepy, others probably thought nothing of me. The girls that I knew in high school have told me that ive become much more attractive and more fun in general after ive been off in college for 3 years, like ive gotten a new hair cut or lost 20 lbs....but i look the same except i am much more confident! confidence = more pull over other people, more persuasive, more 'lucky and you are seen more . i learned all that first hand.....in middle and early HS people often kept talking when I was saying something and didnt even hear what I said. i noticed this happened a lot. Now, i have more power and self confidence in my voice and people notice it when i speak up. i am no longer ignored