No One Understands me

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As I read everyone's post I can relate to just about every single problem. I have glaucoma, I wear glasses, I'm black and people called me the N word. I was called fa***t, gay, four-eyed (when I wore my glasses. I also have an underbite and I was made fun of for that. I had my tonsils removed at 5 and for ten years afterwards I was made fun of because I had bad breath from my tonsil surgery. What also didnt help my bad breath was my really short tongue. I couldnt stick out my tongue therefore I couldnt brush my tongue to help the bad breath and I was nicknamed stinky breath. I have a series of mouth problems that caused bullying, along with the glasses due to glaucoma. and I also don't act cool, and being a black male that can be a problem, especially when it comes to girls. I am also hairier than usual and I hit puberty earlier than most guys so I was bullied for my chest hair in 8th grade all through high school. I had teachers bully me and physically hit me. and as I got older the more outbursts I had and therefore the more racism when I have outbursts. people don't see a person dealing with trauma, they see an angry black man who needs to be controlled and arrested because he's dangerous. I've been in and out of the hospital 3 times in the past year and a half. the last time was 5 weeks ago. I was had a meltdown and shutdown from all the things that has happened to me and I was screaming in the hospital, thats all I was doing nothing else but screaming and they shot me up with 10 mg of Haldol and I had 5 dystonic reactions afterwards that almost killed me. I couldnt breath, I couldnt move, i was shaking, coughing, spitting up, choking. just because I was a black man who was screaming, and my mom is a nurse and she knows that they overdosed me with it over 8 times the recommended amount. they didnt tell me what they were giving me they just shot me up with it and it nearly killed me. my neck is still stiff right now. I also had a VR counselor who bullied me and touched me too.

Nowadays I just avoid talking about my problems. I have always been differently both physically and socially. I am quick to anger and I am on several medications that dont really help, I have OCD and I have been paranoid ever since the Haldol incident. they only thing I have going for me is that I am in a 4 year university. when I tell people about the bullying they say "f what ppl think" as if its that easy to do. I really wanna just die.

Man I know teachers got away with a lot back then (my own mom being a teacher) but sheesh. They need to be fired.

Sounds like you need to file a malpractice suit against them. If your moms a nurse, maybe you could take them to court and bring her to testify against them.

Same thing goes for your vocational rehabilitation (???) counselor. Although re-reading that part of your post, I don't know what you mean by "touched".

Anyway, sorry things have been rough on you.

People can be real cruel. It's hard for them to see and put themselves in other people's shoes. Your teachers (can't really call them that) should have been fired and never allowed to set foot in a classroom again.

It's messed up how the doctors and counselors treated you. I agree with Greatsharkbite's advice in filing a malpractice suit.

Bullying is one of the worst things anyone can go through (been there and I understand that it's not easy just to let go of what has been said and or done). Whatever you do, don't give up. When you give up the jerks win. You can make it through school and show them through a successful life (which I doubt the bullies have).

I can't imagine all the pain and frustration you must be feeling. I can only offer words of support. I hope things get better for you.

Just remember that bullies are weak people generally. They feel weak inside themselves, and this is why they go and attack others who they view as easy targets. Often, bullies are bullied themselves at home, or elsewhere, and they in turn bully others to deal with this. Learn to let the words wash over you and find assurance in yourself of who you are and what your qualities are, so that it wont matter what anyone else thinks.

The hospital were totally in the wrong, and I agree that you should try and take some action against them.
You seem to have been dealt a rough deal so far, but that does not mean it will always be that way.
find your strength and carry on fighting, and view all of these as challenges, hard as that might seem right now.

It is funny really, that Autistics are meant to lack the ability to put themselves in another's shoes, but as far as I can see, NTs are no better at all and don't even make an effort. Hold your head up high and be proud of you.