The worrying list...a rant

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I worry too much.

I worry about so many things that I start to contradict myself.

I worry that I am too selfish (because I like to talk about myself) .......I worry am too nice to people(because I am always trying to cheer others up, to no avail).

I worry that I am too clingy(because I quote everyone and try to reply, especially with one of the friends).....I worry that I am too distant(because I don't reply to some peoples emails fast enough).

I worry that I am pesky(because I talk so much)....I worry that I am not fun enough(because I don't do all the bad things)

I worry that I am too young(because I have no experience).....I worry that I am too old(because I feel like I can sympathize with almost everyone on here).

I worry that I am too ugly(because I have only been on one date my entire life at age 18), I worry that I am too pretty(because a lot of people keep saying it).

I worry that I am too stupid(because I got 2 B's in high school, and I took only 2 weighted class, and I am gosh-awful at trivia).....I worry that I am too smart(because I am a know-it all, I have google, and I just feel like a creatively smart person).

I worry that I am addicted (because obviously I post a lot).....I worry that I am not in this world enough (because I haven't clicked in the manner that I believe others have on here).

I worry that I am not an aspie (because I got a different score, and my life is so different than these other aspies, and I can tell emotions from faces)....I worry that I am too much aspie (because I can feel more alone than anyone else)

I worry that I am the best (because I am self-absorbed that way)....I worry that I am the worst (because I never succeeded like everyone else has that puts the same effort that I have into different aspects of life)

I worry that I have too many talents (because guys might be afraid of successful girls, and I want to succeed in the future)......I worry that I will fail at everything (that I am at my prime and all my talents will go away, and I'll be a miserable fail at life).

I worry that I am too positive (because I think everything will work out)....I worry that I am too negative (haha, if you can't see negativity here then leave....just leave this post right now).

I worry that I am too aggressive (I believe this to be the true reason nobody wanted to date me, I am very aggressive in my personality)....I worry that I am not a go-getter(because if I was, I would have a boyfriend, job, goals and awards, and many different things).

I worry that I am not creative enough(because I haven't won many awards for my artwork and I don't know what good writing is and rhythm/rhyming is something anyone can do)....I worry that I am too creative (because I don't like following rules, so I can get around a rule in any situation).

I worry that I am too rebellious (because I was "referred" by my 2nd grade teacher to have ODD)...I worry that I am not defiant enough (because I haven't done the typical things teenagers have done).

I worry that my life is Ironic (because at any moment, I can provide you with an explanation about how some aspect of my life is ironic)...I worry that my life is not ironic (because I may not know the true definition of irony, and I haven't experienced tragedies and I don't want to jinx anything to make something).

I worry that I jinx things(because of that last post)...I worry

I worry that I am predictable (because of TV shows, and my parents knew I was on the computer in the middle of the night).....I worry that I am not predictable enough (because I feel so unique like everyone else).

I worry that I am Unique (because I am, there are so many aspects to cover: maybe just the fact that I am a vegetarian, mormon, girl, teen, runner, aspie.....is a starter)....I worry that I am not unique enough(because I haven't done anything amazing with my life to set myself apart and I can't exactly explain why I am unique)

I worry that I am unhealthy (because I sit on the computer all day long)....I worry that I am too healthy (because I have met very few people who actually like the burning feeling they get during exercise).

I worry that I am always towing the line (because I am going to offend someone, sometimes without even knowing)...I worry that I am not pushing the line (because I do feel like I am tipetoeing with what I say sometimes.

I worry that I am too blatant (because say it how I feel).....I worry that I am inconsiderate(because I don't care what people think).

I worry that I am mean (because I am violent sometimes)....I worry that I let people walk all over me(because I can't respond as quickly as people verbally).

I worry that I eat too much (because I like food)....I worry that I don't eat enough (because my running is slowing down).

I worry that I will grow old and fat (because that's fate, right)....I worry that I will not become like other (and people will hate me).

I worry that I will die alone (because everyone worries about this, and it sounds awful)....I worry that I will be with someone that I grow to hate (because that is what happens to people, I've seen it happen).

I worry that don't trust people enough (because I am so guarded)....I worry that trust people too much(because it feels like some people just like to toy with me and then stomp on my heart.

I worry that I am too sensitive (because my mom said so yesterday and because people don't intend to be mean)...I worry that I am too tough(because: scorpion sting, what scorpion sting?)

I worry that I am not funny enough (because I always get awkward laughs when I try to attempt a joke IRL, and sometimes online)...I worry that I am too funny (because then people will expect me to be funny).

I worry that I worry too much (because of this thread, ahhhh, the irony kills me)....I worry that I don't worry enough(because if I did, maybe I could change something about my life).

And the funny thing is, I could keep on going ALL DAY LONG.
I worry too much.

I wish I could help, but to be totally honest with you I find empathy really difficult. My advice would be to seek assurance from people around you and to be a bit more logical about your worries. This is why social interaction is so difficult, the subtlety of what is too funny or too chatty or whatever is just too much to cope with. Do you have AS or Autism? If you do, it's something you'll probably always find difficult to cope with and that's not your fault. People can learn to expect it from you as well.

Looks like you're worried about being too extreme one way or the other. You're walking a tight rope which is causing you to pussyfoot and worry. Lean towards one thing or the other rather than just standing in the dead middle of two extremes. Don't look at it in such a one dimensional way. Accept that you're made of flesh and blood and it's human nature to have contradictory feelings or traits.

I worry A LOT too!!It prevents me from getting a good nights rest!