Getting over complex? post traumatic stress disorder. or not

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Hi,
I'm in a rather complicated position.

I've got post traumatic stress disorder, which I've also quite probably had in the past. so may possibly be complex by now.

Anyhow, the bad bit is that the health care professionals have caused a significant amount of the trauma, so I'm not only 'reliving' events in a flash back sense, I'm actually experiencing additional trauma in any kind of possible reasonable process that may assist in getting over it.

To make matters worse, attempts that I've made to resolve some of the issues through, mitigation or complaints procedures seem to fall into a 'black hole', which apparently is well out of order.
So, the people who are meant to sort out a mess when it happens are themselves adding to the mess!

Looking at the NT symptoms, I get much the same, only that it hits me like a tonne of s**t and completely wipes me out, sometimes over days, or sometimes I'm back to 'normal' as quick as the anxiety or almost catatonia hit after a trigger. e.g. thinking about phoning the Dr or someone to help me out.

In one way I'm actually doing more, but in others it's really giving me a lot of complex unmanageable down time. I'd doubt I'd even make an appointment.

My current approach is to push through, slowly but surly trying to resolve an issue at a time (so get rid on the compound stress) and also do some various unrelated stuff when possible to give me some recovery and coping time.

But the tonne of s**t, seems to be turning into ten tonnes. Even though in between I'm more capable.

I'm based in Reading UK.

I'm not sure I take your meaning. How do the health care professionals cause more trauma? Are they re-creating the traumatic situations on purpose to let you work on them? Is there anyone, professional or personal, that you can trust?

they lie, play games, keep switching appointments, will only proscribe me the medication that f****d me up, in a seriously bad way for quite a number of years. General big headed, do exactly the opposite of what's required or supposed to be done, block and complaints or investigations. Have a go at me if I miss an appointment. Claim to not know anything about me, all the time.

Say that a support professional is going to come round to help me sort s**t out, only for me to get a call two weeks later from a 'in hospital' support professional for people 20 years older than myself. So I go, and say I need social support, how the hell am I supposed to drag all my s**t in, including the computer and people I have to deal with to the hospital, when I probably will pass out just at the thought of attending.

The main issue stems from the head consultant diagnosing me incorrectly some years ago, despite me no where near meting the diagnosis criteria. then diagnosing me with loads of things 'like alcohol abuse' when I hardly ever drink, putting loads of lies on my medical records. completely breaking all the rules in the book she wrote to pass an exam she examines to qualify to become a quack. Using completely inappropriate language and methods (according to her very own book).

She's done similar things to others.
Tried to blow me out a couple of weeks ago, when I caught her lining and then pointed out to her all the other lies she made and lies on other peoples records and fictitious diagnosis criteria and even to the extent of breached of the Nuremberg code.

She's basically in a king pin position of power, and can apparently block formal complaints from even been followed up, 'because I'm a raving, manipulating lunatic' or whatever she says.

I've got some good evidence against her, and other peoples independent recall of their treatment, but she's smiled her way to the top in a profession that lawyers say, 'allows them to write of as incompetent anyone who challenges them'. a psyho haven, playing with peoples minds and lives with ultimate protection.

The police are aware of the issues (as I get on well with them and do things like baby sit the trouble makers), so we've chatted formally and less formally about all the crap.

There willing to run a full investigation, but that requires that the medical council will follow up on a complaint that I put in. Which she can of-course block.

Basically I'm puppet on a string at the moment.

Sounds like you need some sort of disability advocate in your corner, to deal with all this stuff!

unfortunately there doesn't seem to be an advocate for dealing with getting an advocate.

anyhow, I decided I'm going to write up a plan, and various other things, and progress and such to deal with the situation in a holistic adaptive manner.

Hopefully it should be of some use to others too. Most of the things out their seem to be neither holistic nor adaptive. Replacing one psychological problem for another.

Anyhow, I'm somewhat of a veteran at this kind of stuff. So battle hardened.

By having a bit more of structured plan in place, and also an objective of being useful to others. Should help mitigate against the more 'crappy' bits and also help keep the depression at bay and keep the motivation going, since I do everything for others.

I'm going to treat the situation as complex and use an approach of building 'confidence and moral' in myself, with mitigation and adaptive plans if it all goes a bit pear shape. AS I start to feel the homoeostasis shifting more towards general 'confidence and morality', I'm then going to introduce some of the more 'troubling' things that I've identified, in isolation at first, then hopefully building, supported by the more positive activities that have helped build confidence and moral.

So for instance:
one activity may be:
if I know at some point I've got to write something up about xyz that's an issue, I'll prepare by writing stuff up and thinking about other things that have positive results. So then writing stuff up become a positive activity that should bolster the additional supporting activities and mitigation, helping both desensitise xyz and associate it with more positive things.

This should also help desensitise the more general 'avoidance' and fear type responses.

I think the real key is preparation, so that when it goes a bit off in the wrong direction, the fact that it has, doesn't lead to greater negativity and problems.

I think I've already got enough data where I've blown up a lot or a little, and then put in-place adaptive or mitigation or re-enforcing behaviour and cognitive adjustments. So I think it'll avoid the blowing myself up, and negative hypothesis testing.

see, in defeat see the opportunity to learn from 'mistakes' and to build on past achievements.

in that regard I think some amount of stabilisation preparation and not breaking down at the thought of getting additional support 'e.g. an advocate' is probably wise, and advocacy has not been particularly forth coming in past attempts.

Sounds like you have given this a lot of thought. Good luck with getting the support that you need!

I think one of the 'big' problems is more 'ADD' related.

That is hyper-focus (somewhat obsessional) [if I don't do this, things just lurk around making me worse in the long run].

and then when I've more or less got closure on it, so I stop thinking less. All those 'stimulating' thoughts start to kick in and I get rebound anxiety.

In some ways it's the rebound anxiety is almost developing into a phobia.

So really I'm tying to make it so that I've got other types of stimulation and relaxation so I can balance out the hyper-focus and make the rebound anxiety less 'hard' and mixed with more positive things.

still I hardly spoke to anyone for most of this year, and couldn't think due to med for about the last 6 so actually being able to hyper-focus in the first place is a good thing. It can be a little 'troubling' for some of my friends.
1: that I pick so many patterns and often express my thought processes. So sometimes come across as a little 'unbelievable' if they don't see any significance in things and a little bit manic on top.
2: That doesn't help the anxiety!

I noticed a pattern to the 'psychiatrists' language, which others took to be 'a relaxed style' but without appreciation of the do's and don't of medical practice. Or thought that she may be doing it 'with my intrestest at heart'

But I done a search for her on the internet, and only came across 2 things.
1: She has a 'special interest in interview techniques'
2: She's published a guide to passing the shrink exam (which she teaches and examines).

In the guide she notes a number of things.
1: That the type of conversational language she uses should not be used. That is language should be patient first and not introduce new or jarring ideas. [examples of correct language given]
2: That you can use language that may go unnoticed but she believes will go deeply into the subconscious of the patient.

Language 'children' will understand.
Examples given are things like 'Right', she's also use words like 'Wong' inappropriately with me.
Now in the UK the age of criminal responsibility is 8 years old, and their trying to push it up to 12 years old (like many other places).
So written into the law children cannot understand the difference between right and wrong.
Given I've said I've been like I am since at oldest 6 years old (though I always remember being the same till even younger), and that's quite typical of AS. And also my moneys out to you if you can tell me the 'absolute' difference between write and wrong without introducing any 'new' or 'jarring' ideas.

I'd have thought a shrink with 33 years of practising experience and a special interest in interview techniques should know things like that by now.

Other's don't seem to think it's significant.