My life as a sex slave (Trigger)

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so Here I will share some of the disturbing truth about my life.
I was sexually abused ever since I was a child. because people thought I was a ret*d mute.
those sexual, mental, physical abuses I have endured have continued well until my adulthood until recently.
I was basically sold off by my parents and my family members as a trafficking victim.
I guess I am sharing this so people know what could happen to a vulnerable young girl who has been socially isolated without much support network in her life.
This certainly could be something that could happen to other aspie females if they have too much male friends.
I was involved with so many guys who would offer me drugs, and drinks to date-rape me. and any females that approached me would do it to pimp me out to their guy friends for fun or for profit.
so as you can imagine, my life has been nothing but abuse, rape and torture. and since my own family is involved, I guess I am pretty much trapped. How do those men justify using drugs to rape and abuse someone? I don't know.
Because I am not the type of person who could probably live with myself after doing something like that to someone innocent and naive as me. I have filed a several police report but the schools and Police department were just busy covering them up.
They simply wanted to shut me out. because as long as women like myself who have been raped and sexually exploited keep their mouth shut, life is peaceful for them.
the person who have used me sexually the most, he's sorta like a wannabe Ted bundy. but he will become a professor in a university one day as he said. and I don't think people in America care if person with his character or sexual behaviour gets to teach other women he could potentially abuse and exploit. or they simply don't care if "other" women get raped as long as their daughters and mothers are Safe in educational environment.
I guess No one can truly relate to the tragic but rather humiliating and emotionally challenging traumatic episodes I have dealt in my life. because it's none of their responsibility to "protect" women as long as their wives or daughters are protected. so i guess I am probably the unluckiest girl in the world because I am not even being protected by my own family members but being constantly used for their own "profit" and "greed".
and I'd like to think most of the sane people Do care greatly about protecting women.
that No one should be forced or chemically controlled to be raped multiple times by men she is not in love with.
So I am putting my story out there because I have been living under threats of violence since I was young.
I see absolutely no reason to continue living this life if I get violently punished for being a rape victim/sex slave for speaking the truth. Because I believe in Justice and human dignity. I don't believe in turning anyone into a slave due to societal manipulation.
and I hope this can be as platform so that other vulnerable women with ASD syndrome can come out and be able to share their stories as well.

Last edited by staralfurious on 28 Aug 2011, 9:46 am, edited 1 time in total.

So sorry to hear this.

I think that Aspie women are especially vulnerable to sexual abuse due their problems perceiving the motives of others. Guys are abused too, but usually financially (if they have something worth taking, anyway).

I severed all ties with my parents when I was about your age, but I had already been living on my own since I was 17, so their ability to hurt me was already minimized anyway.

Hopefully, you can find a way to be independent and remove any power that others have over you, are you working towards this?

Good luck.

Gosh!
How awful.
So many issues here.

It would be nice if all the aforementioned,including your whole "family", were in the slammer.

But this Ted Bundy type guy should really be stopped before he victimizes others. He sounds like a real threat to society.

It's so sad...
I don't know where you live, but there are association that defense abused women. You should contact one of them. I should give you some useful contacts but I live in Italy...

Maybe you should just kill them. They've already ruined your life, you've got nothing left to lose.

That's a really bad idea. First off, it'd probably mean the end of the line for staralfurious; after all, even for vengeance, homicide is almost always life imprisonment or worse. Not only that but, on a purely vengeful point of view, it'd give those people an "easy way out" for all the wrongs they've done.

It sounds like you may need someone who knows the legal system to help you. If you know any lawyers, or you can just walk into a lawyer's office and ask them to help and see what happens.

Coverups need quiet to succeed, so I would make as much noise as possible. Go to the newspapers (or Threaten to if that works), don't let it go until you get Justice.

People who say stuff like "you've got nothing left to lose." are idiots. There is always something left to loose - Life and Freedom would be the two obvious ones. There is a path that will lead you to happyness, I don't know what the first step is, but I know it isn't murder.

What country do you live in?

In the United States, I know lots of organizations that specialize in helping people who were victims of child abuse and sexual abuse. Just because it happened a long ago does not mean your rapists should never be punished.

That, or I would make that bastard's life miserable and take him to court anyway over raping a minor. Even if he is not found guilty of rape, just the stigma of being convicted or accused could ruin his life and cost him his job at the university. At least he will not be around other potential, young victims.

Much love and best wishes to you. I really hope you have a counselor or talk therapist you are talking to. I would get someone who specializes in sexual abuse. They could possibly point you in the right direction on how to take this to court.

writing as a woman with AS that has had much the same treatment in her life, I give you appreciation and send my best wishes your way. I have found that I had a choice to be bitter about it , or to USE that naivety to rise above the abuse and thrive!

I notice your use of English suggests it is not your first language- although your ease of expressing yourself in writing in English is to be admired! Evidently your being used and taken advantage of has allowed you some education, both in your first and second language.

But when you write

I want you to understand YOU ARE NOT ALONE, YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE.

I, too, was debauched as a child, sold by my brother to his older friends for electronic parts and favors. I, too, had my parents turn a blind eye to older cousins and "uncles" using my child body for their lusts. And to combat this, I, in my mind, became the person that this didn't happen to, I created fictions for me to tell when being with "other people" when they inquired into my past to see if there were things in common to base a friendship on. When I closed my eyes, then the life I did have didn't seem so "bad". So I made myself grow fat, and didn't care for my skin and nails, wore no deodorant and was slovenly all as a defense against men and women using me. And I learned to spot the signs that signaled they were going to use me and avoided those situations. it was my only hope,

Now I am a 60 year old woman (with excellent hygiene, thank you). I now know about my AS, but I don't really think my life would have been much different had AS been known about in my youth. But it will stop, if you live long enough.

I wish you the best, but you are NOT alone. if you like, you can privately PM me.

Since I was a child I was used as a sex object to be toyed around by males around me. so I grew up thinking Physical and Psychological trauma was the norm. and I am an individual who wants to free herself from these nightmares.
You may think how does sharing these stories publicly does anything to my well-being or to the ones who have profited off my misfortune and used me fill their sadistic urges? I am simply putting it out there to let everyone know that Rape is the crime no on should endure. Rape is nearly impossible to survive. and I want that simple fact to be acknowledged by anyone who have never dealt with rape victims.
The types of threats I have been getting are quite varied. From being burnt to alive to being attacked with knives. I can’t endure the nightmares anymore. I honestly feel this is the life that I was tortured to survive so I will share the disturbing truth with others. I will start with what i can remember at the moment. So you know who these individuals are and in case you are a woman like me, you can avoid them for your safety. and if you are type of person who believe in Justice and Woman’s right, perhaps you can join me silently in movement to get rid of these individuals from this planet.
One of the man who raped me, his name is (removed at posters request). I am quite sure He is rather a well known figure in Southern California. His residence is located on Saddle Peak. He’s extremely old. probably too old for courts to be doing anything about his life. I don’t know his exact age. But he is the one who provided with me the drug, made a threat that he will make me disappear and raped me violently. the other person who is involved is named (removed at posters request). He’s Jewish. and he has graduated from graduate school in Pomona, California. He will be an art professor teaching group of young students. He’s sadistic individual who also has been sending me violent footage of himself posing as a serial killer. He has drugged me in order to control me and raped me for years of time. I am putting these stories out there because you could be raped by someone who is already involved in relationship. I have filed reports on these individuals but it goes to tell you that Police Stations, at least the ones I have experienced can be either bought or can be totally helpless with these types of “rape” crimes. So if you are a vulnerable, foreign woman looking to travel to certain parts of America, You know what to do to avoid these types of individuals. I will also be posting stuff I have on the internet. Their photos and their stories to be shared publicly. Because if rapists or abusers are able to post video footages of female exploitation on internet, Why can’t women post pictures of abusers on internet to be shared publicly? So in case I would get kicked out of this forum for speaking the truth, you can type my screen name on internet so you get free updates on what is going on in my life and how soon I will be murdered by these individuals. but until that time, I will be doing my best to share as much as I can. especially to let other victimised women out there that there is no reason to sit alone and suffer alone in silent.

I have quite huge lists of men who legitimately raped me and abused me in either intoxicated states and using threats as method. so please stay tuned.

Last edited by staralfurious on 01 Sep 2011, 12:25 pm, edited 2 times in total.

You may perhaps think I am being outrageous for sharing these individual’s names and their deeds on online. but if you had truly understood the aftermath of rape, what I am doing at my mere attempt to gain any sort of Justice and healing of myself, this is nothing compared to what these men should deserve for thinking that they are somehow entitled to access to woman’s body without her permission using drugs and threats.
If the true justice existed and if local police were actually sane enough to be not have been bought or controlled by the ones with money and power, these men should be locked up in jail or get death penalty in some countries. So I am putting my story out there for everyone to see for you to truly decide who are truly the miserable beings on this planet.
I no longer tolerate messages I get from individuals on this forum who have subtlety and bluntly been making threats. I will be also posting those individual’s name and their threats on this forum as well. Just because you are communicating privately, doesn’t mean you are able to subtly abuse someone using those threats. Simply not tolerable.
and I am putting these stories out there because in my naive mind, I hope people will side with the victims instead of rapists. and I do hope this will be read by future rapists or abuser of women to stop abusing, raping, using, gaining access to their bodies without their permission. and I do encourage anyone to share these stories with anyone who are truly interested in what Rape does to women and how much rapists get away in each time after robbing a soul or life of someone who has been tormented and hurt so much in this lifetime. (but this should not be read by murderers that I am asking you to silently end my life for me. No, I am certainly not asking you for that). I have never received any of the sincere apologies from these individuals. Not that I ever forgive men for ever robbing a life of me in the first place. I always found ridiculous especially in the west, after doing something absolutely despicable and absolutely horrendous, Some politicians involved in Sex Scandals or other types of crimes, go around publicly making apologies to everyone as if people who have been damaged by it will ever forget or find it healing for their minds. and when it comes to crimes as bad as rape or any kind of sexual acts committed against the wilful desire of the participant, any type of apologies will not be accepted nor tolerated.
and I guess I do want to rise above the status of animals who can live off suffering and torment of Women. it’s my simple belief that Women are vulnerable creatures who should be protected in every parts of the world. But not only I have never felt protected in my country or America for receiving these types of threats after getting raped and sexually taken advantage of by men who think it’s okay to use a mentally vulnerable, socially isolated, chemically-controlled, unable to communicate NO properly to fulfil their sexual urges. and I do not believe that these men just could not control their sexual urges that they had to let it out on me. I learned that is actually sorry ass excuse men use. I have simply been targeted by losers who most likely would not gain access to women without resorting to these “alternative” methods of acquiring Sex and Women. and I am a living proof that Rape, Date-rape, any other non-consensual sexual acts committed using drugs and threats are all soul-crushing, intolerable acts that should not be tolerated by anyone sane enough to believe in protecting women and their rights no matter what Woman's sexual behaviour indicates or prior sexual relationships she might have had with men or how she was chemically controlled to act out on her sexual acts.
I have tried to seek remedies from the organisations from the states and I am seeking guidance from organisations in my country as well. So I am seeking truth from any individuals who believe in Justice for trafficking victim like me and I do welcome anyone who are willing to make any suggestions on how these women should go about claiming their rights and Justice in what we call, civilised world? or Are you a believer that defenceless women like myself who has been raped do not deserve to exist in this life anymore?
I’d like to hear the heart-felt truth from you especially from a man who is strong enough to be a man himself to be able to protect any women and not side with people like rapists who feed off their misery on vulnerability of women.

although I will be making necessary changes in the future because posts can not be deleted or edited after certain time passes. I do encourage anyone to share these publicly especially if you want to protect yourself as a woman or women in your area.

Hi Star,

Unfortunately, in many parts of the world, women & children are nothing but commodities to be used. They are also easily replaced. It happens in the US, & it happens worldwide. Particularly in the Middle East & in Asia....if a woman or a child offends her family or someone else's...the offender is usually killed. While I would love to see things change...these things take time. I'm not sure it'll ever happen like you'd like to see it, but it is a possibility. I doubt I'll live long enough to see it happen.

Rape...I know it well having experienced it many times. But it hasn't destroyed me....if I can survive rape so can you. I was not raped under the same circumstances, but as demoralizing as it is...it is survivable. I have somewhat separated those occurrences in my life from my life today. I can even think about what happened without any emotion...no anger, no remorse, nothing. That's not to say that there aren't things that bother or upset me....nothing could be further from the truth. But it's my survival mechanism to separate myself from some past events.

What I have found far harder to endure is the betrayal. Feeling like I've had to fight for everything that most people take for granted. I did not grow up in a loving or caring home either. In fact, I was told I was purchased & personal property. I strongly suspect I was sexually abused as a baby due to the fact I required a partial hysterectomy before I was 1 year of age. But I have no memory of events leading up to the surgery or after...so there's nothing I can do with the facts (something I didn't even discover until I was 46 years old). Why I wasn't told is beyond me, since I could have had some very bad problems with my half uterus. I do know I was sexually abused by a friend of my parents when I was between 9 & 12 years old. Once he asked my dad for permission to take me off & molest me (saying he wouldn't hurt me), & dad granted him permission. What's far worse to me than the sexual abuse I endured was the fact that I stood up to him when I was 12. I stopped him from doing anymore harm in the short term. However, he then went out & murdered a young man in cold blood. It's always been my belief that I am responsible for the death of someone I never even knew. I tried to get more info to find out if the man who abused me & committed murder is still alive, but the local sheriff's department would not listen to me unless I could provide full names as well as the case number. They ended up hanging up on me. All I wanted was some closure on my past, but it was not to be. Like you, this all occurred in southern California.

If I were in your shoes, I'd do my best to get away from your parents. They will never stop abusing you as long as you or they are still alive. You could do a lot more good for yourself & others who have gone through similar experiences by being free of your abusers. I am mostly free of my parents...my mother passed away last year, & dad's health is waning. He now has cancer so he has a limited amount of time left to live.

What you do with your life is completely up to you. But as long as you surround yourself with those who continue to abuse & demoralize you....nothing will change.


Tomboy

I'm so sorry you've had to go through this. Nobody deserves to be mistreated like you have and the men and women responsible for your abuse should definitely be brought to justice.

In more practical terms, is there a 'safe house' you could go to? I'm unfamiliar with the situation in Southern California, but in The Netherlands we have safe houses for victims of abuse, where they are safe from their attackers and can get in touch the police and so on. It would be good for you to simply get out of the situation you are in now and to go somewhere you could feel safe. Go to another town if you'd feel safer there, but please, get out.

You deserve a future completely free of abuse of any kind, you and every rape victim out there. You've already been incredibly brave in contacting the police, whether or not they believe you. I agree with techn0teen: even a hint of a sexual abuse case can be detrimental to a man's career. All the men you have named shouldn't be around children or women again. Name them and shame them, kick up as big a fuss as you can. Somebody will listen, whether it's a lawyer, a psychologist, a police officer or a journalist, and they can help you. Please hang in there and don't stop fighting.

This is horrible.

I'm sorry that happened to you. There's not enough support out there for people like you.