Birthday party

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Tomorrow is my nephews birthday party. We are having it at my brothers house. When I don't think of the people being there I feel good. I'm scared for what is going to come tomorrow. I can't control myself most of the time in socialuations. and that shows a part of me I only want certain people to see. It sucks. Or I shut down and I dont like the shut down part. I feel 100% terrible.

I have recently become uncomfortable being around certain family members. My dad, his wife, my little sister, my step brother, and older brother. My sister because she thinks I am someone I am not and she comes to me thinking I can give what she thinks I can give. and the others because I don't trust them.

I thought I could have a good relationship with my step brother but it doesn't seem like it is going to end up that way. It sucks because I really liked him and started trusting him.

I really wish I could be there because I love being around my nephew. He says theeee funniest things.

That sounds like a tough situation. Do you have another family member, maybe from the other side of the family, or a friend you could bring along? I just wonder if having at least one person you do trust and feel comfortable around might change the dymanic and help you get through the party better than you could if you went alone.

Either way, I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. I have several family members I feel uncomfortable around and won't go to holiday get-togethers at their homes unless I know my brother is also going, so I understand it's tough.

Thanks. I think I figured it all out.