Heart broken, I think

Post Reply New Topic

There is this guy, I love him and he loves me. Relationship was great and all. I explained I had Aspergers all my little quirks and he actually enjoyed them. He enjoyed my randomness and the way I'm anal about a lot of things and yeah... That was great. We spent say two hours one night telling each other how much we love each other and he wants me to be his future husband, so essentially he proposed to me. He refers to me as his fiance and great and all.

He has an issue though, and that is he isn't fully over his ex. He doesn't want to get back together with his ex or anything but he can't stop thinking about why he cheated on him and broke up with him. So he thinks about about it a lot. he says that he wants to take a break until he can get his mind straight and we can get back together probably soon. I was fine with this and I think that's okay.

The issue comes in here, he said he may date another guy. I said the whole point of dating seems to be to find someone bf material and be with them not to find someone bf material and put them on break to get your might straight, but then start searching again. I said dating is like searching for someone and I asked him if he was searching for anyone else, and he assured no, that he just wants us to be together. He just doesn't think it's right to be with me while he is having issues about getting over his ex.

I don't know what to really think, I'm just so conflicted and quite frankly confused as to what's happening. He's saying I'm pretty much an estranged fiance for a few weeks until he gets his mind together. I don't have an issue with this, it's just the dating part, he said he probably wont, but the fact it's even a possibility is ridiculous to me.

Seems he might be dealing with something. Maybe in an immature manner.. but I wouldn't say that that means to give up.

I think the whole dating someone else.. is probably him having doubts about himself. Getting cheated on can create a lot of self esteem issues.. more so if you already had them.

It takes a lot to get over such self doubt, especially if the person who cheated was someone who you loved and respected or held in high esteem. Sometimes it can be a little to early to settle down off the bat if it is recent.

I wouldn't write him off completely and if he's a person who's really worth it, give him his space for a bit. I however would not want to be referred to as a fiance by someone who's mind is that clouded--as it relates to you (even if caused by issues outside of you. My fiance wouldn't be dating other people. When he's ready--when you both are ready, maybe that label will apply. Right now sounds like you just care for each other deeply.

The fact he said he may make out with another guy just gets to me. If he does idk if I can really stay.

He refers to you as his fiance yet he wants to date another guy?

I don't know about the nature of your relationship, but if it's monogamous that's a red flag.

I may be wrong, but if he doesn't intend to cheat on you he intends to manipulate you.

I would be out of there like a shot.

I would seek more advice afterwards because I am clueless in most social matters but this sounds like a manipulator to me. I would leave. If this is the case, the longer it takes you to leave, the more difficult it is.

If you don't want to split up (again assuming this is monogamous) you need to lay down some firm rules of commitment. If these rules are broken I would not listen to another word he said.

That would be my plan B, plan A would be to leave. I only have one side of the story, but the side I hear sounds like you've found a user. I would go for plan A over plan B. The choice is yours.

I hope your decision is the correct one. Try to get more advice from neutral parties.

After I pointed out the flaw in his possible dating he agreed its illogical. He said he was in a mood yesterday. He has emotional issues bc of his previous relationship which I get.

If he dates or anything like that I'm dumping, but it seems he won't v