Can't sleep, nervous and scared

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I was sleeping, but I woke up and can't get back to sleep. Maybe I will have a shot of scotch (sometimes it gives me a boost to knock me over the edge and go to sleep, but i don't like doing it). I am in court in the morning to determine custody of my two youngest children. If I do not get custody, they will be moved thousands of miles across the country and I don't know if their sister or I will ever really see them again. Their dad does not really take adequate care of them (I am hoping the court is seeing this) and I am afraid that if he gets custody, they will be worse off than they are now. I am also afraid for my daughter that I do have custody of. I don't know how she will handle this. I am so scared. I have the worse case scenario going through my head right now. I want this to be over and I want my kids. I also want to sleep.

the scotch may also not sit well in the mourning... it is not a physical thing, its a mental thing and as long as your worried you will not be able to fall asleep or sleep well without waking up. I'd like to tell you just not worry but that's easier said then done; you have my prayers both for your sleep and your custody battle!

Thanks. I had a glass of milk instead. It took a while, but I did fall back to sleep. I also had the strangest dreams about my kids and custody and movies. :/ I am really tired. About to make my morning coffee. I hope it sits well with me. I have never been this nervous. If he is awarded custody, I am afraid I will never see them again. He has said he would rather I never see them (under oath). And denied saying it (under oath). Just too much.

Update: Sorry it took several days to do this. The case was continued, but not because his attorney was a ****. He was that too, but it was continued because we didn't have time to finish it. We will be going back in October (the 14th). That puts it almost exactly 6 years from the day I gave him the kids. It would be very ironic to get my kids back on that day (it was October 31 that I handed them over to him). I will say that although draining, the day went well. He (the ex) was arrogant and willful (in my opinion) on the stand and we had a surprise witness who said things that the other attorney did not want her to say (I think he was in shock when she said them, so he did not stop her, and my atty surely was not going to object). It was not pretty for his side, but reinforced several things said by more than one individual.

I am not happy that it is not over, but I am happy that the kids are still in the state. I hope that this will be over soon and that all three kids will be with me permanently.