Sweetleaf wrote:
Do you feel like you cannot control your drinking...I have had periods of my life where I was drinking every day, but then that gets boring so I cut down...so that when I drink I can actually enjoy it, rather than wonder why after 6 beers I am not feeling anything.
No, I don't feel like I can't control my drinking - yet, at least. Yes, I agree, it has to *feel* something - that it's "helping" - it's my way to self-medicate. If it doesn't work, or works less, you're just on the way to becoming an alcoholic and must cut down. I really have to be careful with the alcohol, though, because if I ever do find my true love, I want to be able to drink with her without it being a problem for me... being able to do that, with her, would be of great value, to me. It'd be one very fun thing to do with her, from time to time, that sometimes even could enhance our time together, at that moment.
Sweetleaf wrote:
Yeah that is probably not the best way to think, but it is always hard to find something else to keep going when the one thing you have led yourself to believe is worth living for lets you down.
I didn't "lead" myself to believe it, though.... it *is* the only thing worth living for. I don't understand how those who feel otherwise think... I think some of them are simply in denial.
Ann2011 wrote:
I wouldn't put your hopes for happiness in the hands of a "love." This is too much of a burden for the other person. Work on overcoming depression first.
I can't overcome depression without my true love, though. And I know for a fact that it'd work, as I was kind of happy, most of the time, when in a very problematic, overly dramatic Internet relationship, and at least half of one day, I actually felt ecstatic with happiness. This was from a relationship that was doomed to failure, from the start, and it even helped me to reduce some of my OCD, as I had to do it for her sake. I know true love would do everything for me. I'm not sure how that would be seen as a burden, that you make the other happy. Isn't that what love is about? I'm nowhere near the first one, either, who expects a big part of that happiness to happen through a romantic suicide pact.... you see it all over the world. Not that I'd change my mind even if I, hypothetically, would be all alone in the whole world, with that wish... then I'd just end it and find her in another life.
purchase wrote:
Beauty_Pact,
You know I take your concerns seriously but there are certain logical fallacies in your thinking I have to point out.
1. Who says there is only one true love.
2. Why would you have to have found her by age 30. Yes reaching that milestone conjures up feelings of time passing you by but you are YOUNG and have a long life ahead of you.
3. You sound depressed if either way, true love or not, your ultimate goal is death. Death is not something a non-depressed person looks forward to. Death is an idea a depressed but still alive person fantasizes about because it seems peaceful and complete and unlike the messiness of life. But death is also not being alive and not being able to appreciate or experience anything.
4. Even if you have a faith in this revelation you had four years ago about your destiny it's not a pleasant destiny. The purpose of faith is to guide a person toward happiness. Otherwise it's useless. I could have faith that I'm going to come across a unicorn in the near future and then watch it get run over by a truck. This faith presupposes that a unicorn, like your One and Only True Love, exists and then it must by fate be destroyed. Finding a unicorn would certainly be great though really unlikely but watching it get killed would not so if I were to get the revelation that that was going to occur I would just ignore it because it's of no use to me. Something ceases to exist once a)there is no evidence for it and b) you stop believing in it. It's only real to you cause you believe it.
5. I believe that many potential true loves exist for you. In fact you could have several in a lifetime. One of the potentials could BECOME your one true love by the progression of a relationship but as it stands there are many people out there who you could fall in love with and it's a matter of seeing and acting that will show how you and forces beyond your control will interact to manifest such a relationship in your life.
6. Once you have such a relationship I imagine your need for a double suicide would disappear because as I said that's the product of a depressed mind that can't see any happiness without a deathly side to it.
As you know I'm no doctor but these things seem pretty clear to me. I try my best to respect alternate ways of thinking but your ways just seem... in two words... extremely rigid and depressed.
So no you should not give up. Under any circumstances.
1: Well... that's what true love means, as in not fake, like other love that one may have experienced, before, but which ended. Your true love is the soul with which your own soul will merge, and who you will end reincarnation with, to reach perfection, together, in eternity. No, I don't have any proof for this, but this is the only logical conclusion that has been possible for me to make.
2: Well, if I'd be able to halt the aging process, very soon, I guess I could wait for her until I'd be 500 years old. Except that I'd have lost my mind, very long before such an age, of course. In fact, I'm already becoming very tired of waiting, and restarting in another life is starting to seem appealing, to me... and I can't ever become old, either. At 39, I will have to die, regardless of if I have found her or not.
3: I disagree. Death is the ultimate form of happiness you can reach, if it's romantic death, together with your true love. "Death" is not death, either - there is no death - just a change in the state of existence. In the case of romantic death with your true love, it's like evening out the edges, for a lack of a better expression, to make everything exactly as it is supposed to be.
4: There are plenty of religions that attempt to make everyone happy by default. I have always preferred the truth, though. It isn't useless, at all - the very contrary - my faith in this has kept me a virgin, all this time... hadn't it done that, and I would've already had a physical relationship that would've ended, I'd already be dead, due to the importance to virginity, to me. Actually, that likely was very close to happen, two and a half years back, but a sudden twist of fate kept me and the girl in question apart.
It wouldn't be destroyed, through that suicide pact... it'd be the final, completing part. I'm not sure what the beauty is of growing old, together. Sex means everything to me, and old, smelly and unattractive isn't a compatible thing to that, to me. :| Sex is supposed to be sexy, and therefore, one must "die" early on.
5: If love ends, it is, in the end, pointless and not true love. By the way, that's another reason for the romantic suicide pact; due to flaws in the human mind, love tends to become far less exciting after at most seven years. Therefore, one may need to safeguard against that, as well, so the flaws of one's human mind won't ever get to corrupt one's love for each other.
Sorry for sounding rigid in my response. I appreciate that you want to try to help, even if I can't listen to it.
My way of seeing things isn't depressed if I'd find the girl for me. :| Then it'd be the perfect way to see things. Romantic death, as well as all the rest I believe in, is terribly romantic.... but then again, romantics often end up miserable, due to their obsessions with perfection. It's just a consequence, much like how those who keep seeking the truth about worldly events and matters end up very depressed.
13 Sep 2011, 5:55 pm
