Living in the Now VS. Future/Past

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I was wondering if other people felt it like this. That on a normal basis you live in the now, and when you're depressed your mind is focused on the past/future.

For instance, yesterday i had a bad day. My mind was caught up with this appointment or interview i'm going to have the day before my birthday for this asperger project, now it's for people with aspergers with interests and abilities within the IT world. Now i've somehow gotten into this «mess», not that i wouldn't want to be part of the project though. I'm uncomfortable with the idea of showing up there, because i feel certain that the level of skill they are looking for (Going to make the aspies of the projects into Software Testers) is a few levels above me. Now this gets me in a downward spiral. I'm in future/past mode and thinking that I'm not good enough for the project, i've got no education that will give me a proper job, i've got no job. I've got difficulties learning stuff because getting started and keep on going is really, really hard! And i want so badly to learn a bunch of stuff! (Thinking i might have ADD), I can't say i've got anyone who loves me, got no friends, I'm on welfare, I don't know what's going to happen to me.... ETC...

And then it's living in the «now», like «now» where i'm mostly focused on this current moment, and perhaps the rest of the day and it's a good/nautral day like «now» days always are.

Not sure if this made any sense.

If you've convinced yourself that you arent qualified than accept that you aren't qualified to determine who gets hired either. Just give it a shot. If it's a project geared toward AS, you're halfway in. Also, you are still younger than you may realize. There is a natural instinct on the part of older people to mentor the young. That may work in your favor.

With executive function issues I think it's natural to retreat to the *now* if you can't process the near future well. The now is comfortable and takes care of itself without much planning.

Yes that happens to me, but it is true I have some not so great memories to look back on and not much chance of a great future.

When I'm depressed or angry, I try to reclaim my past. When I'm arrogant and over-confident, I try to secure my future. When I'm happy and at peace with myself, I live in the present and focus on things under my control.

I am going to show, but i am also going to tell them that I'm not comfortable with continuing the tests and questionnaires without knowing if I'm qualified. And would ask them what exactly it is they are looking for. I'm imagining people who are comfortable with programming, and using linux systems. Thats what i imagine they are looking for. I learned c++ 5-6 years ago, though the only thing i can do with that now is read it... Not sure what you mean with the "mentor the young", they seemed positive about getting a girl into the project this time around, but if I'm not cut for it it doesn't matter which age/condition/sex i am.


Yeah i figure you're right, i just recently realized the difference in mind set during different moods. So i was wondering if it was the same for others.

Beautifully said, Mindslave. Thank you.

I've spent most of my life in the past or the future, so I guess that means I've been depressed of overconfident most of the time, which sounds about right. Currently more in the present, so maybe things are looking up.