I'm tired of feeling like damaged goods

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Normally, I'm okay with it. After all, nobody is perfect. Tonight, though, I'm finding it hard to cope. I just wish I could be normal for just one day... not have to deal with the anxiety and frustration surrounding social situations.

I'm tired of all the flaws that make it difficult for people to love me.

I am sorry you are feeling so down, TEGH. We all have good days and bad days so please take heart in knowing that the bad days will pass.

I am sure that people do love you, though it might be hard for them to show it sometimes and for you to see it.

I don't. Not really. I mean, my kids love me but they kind of have to. My ex only loved the control he had over me. My sister... she and I have a complicated relationship. I basically raised her (looooong story) so she's like one of my kids and is therefore obligated to love me.

Beyond that, people generally just tolerate me. I'm not very relateable, and am difficult to be around for any length of time.

Hi TEGH, even if you're difficult to be around I'm sure there are still great things about you that the right kind of people out there would appreciate. I say this because there are several people in my life who I think have incredibly beautiful souls, and they are solitary, difficult people who have few friends. They're intelligent, honest and brutally forthright and have no patience for NT social games. I don't know if you identify with this, but just try and be proud of who you are. If you want to make more friends it is always possible to learn diplomacy skills, although yes it does take a lot of energy. I'm AS and I'm cultivating the art of "saying the right things" as a kind of hobby, cos when you get it right, the response from others can be quite pleasant and life-affirming.

I don't know if that's how I am or not. I just know people find me cold and dismissive. Some think I'm cool initially, but when I don't reciprocate or respond they grow bored of me and move on.

Most of the time, I really don't care enough to try to work on my social skills. I like my own company and don't have a strong urge to make friends. Some days, though, I do wish it was easier for me to be social. It's nights like this when I'm eyeing a knife and trying to distract myself that I wish I had a friend I could call.

I really hate phones.

I sometimes have dreams about what it might be like to be married and more socially active. But that's not reality, and sooner or later, I wake up. I've often found that getting people to like me is not sustainable. If I'm not constantly cheering or pandering, then I must be angry or dangerous, and it's counted against me. I don't want to be in situations where other people read too much into what I don't say and don't do.

TEGH, there is nothing at all wrong with preferring to be solitary. It does, however, put a person at a higher risk of depression. Socializing reduces risk of depression. Even if it seems like a pointless waste of time, it is actually worth making an effort to interact with people occasionally and do the inane chit chat thing. I think of it as health maintenance. It takes you outside of yourself for a bit.

I'm sorry you're having a rough day. I know that is a small comfort, but I have experienced my fair share of melancholy so I can relate. I hope your days become better because you are a beautiful person(I know I've seen pictures here before) and whether or not you agree, you deserve to be happy. Take care.

I understand how you feel.

If it means anything a lot of people here respect you.

I never thought that being detached makes a person unloveable. Confusing... I guess also the problem with friendship and relationships is that they are a lot of work. Aspies often have problems putting in the time, it can be annoying...

Yes ...

... definitely.

Thanks everyone. I'll be okay eventually. I always am.

I'm sorry that you're going through a rough time emotionaly!

I just wanted to share with you that NOBODY is 'obligated' to love ANY ONE!
I know of plenty of children/family/parents that's not very into each other....doesn't even want to have contact....If your kids show/tell you that they love you, they actually maybe do love you and that means that they accepts you just the way you are!

I'm NT, very sociable, easy to talk to others, exct.....BUT I still sometimes feel very lonely and isolated and as if people don't accept me for who I am or don't really know me......

Hang in there......just be gentle with yourself! HUGS

Phones are great when you just need to get across a few messages and be on your way. It's when folks chatter on and on while on the phone I'm compelled to tell them STFU and abruptly hang up.

Of course I don't do that, but I'm really tempted to sometimes.

I have done that. I can be quite rude when I'm forced to chit-chat on the phone.