18 Sep 2011, 9:41 am
Well I had quite a strange night... almost had a meltdown which was contrasted to what otherwise would have been a really good night...
Well The Birds of Tokyo played here tonight and i was gonna go with my friends to see them... and all my friends were gonna have pre drinks at one of their houses... but i had to go to a farewell dinner for a workmate whos leaving... so we were all gonna leave for the band at about 9pm and the dinner was at 7:30... i wasnt gonna miss the dinner... i really liked the guy and i wanted to respect his time working with me because he well gave me alot of respect and has been very patient with me... anyway i got to my friends house at about 8:45... and the person there said they all left 20 minutes earlier... so i thought well thanks for waiting... so i went via my house and found that they didnt even leave me and message of any kind... so i called up one and asked what the go was... after a bit of discussion it was decided that i would drive them all home because im on my Greens... (Australian thing) which basically means they can all have fun and drink and carry on while i have to stay sober and go out of my way to drive them all home... which was ok with me coz they are all my friends...
SO... i pulled the surfboards out of my car and all so they would all fit... and yeah drove out to the gig... drove there and met them at the entry and during the show i was stoked... it was a sick show... i actually smuggled myself in because i never brought a ticket... they sold out so quick... so yeah i just drew the stamp on my hand and told them that i was stampted off... and they let me straight in 
... yay... and it was all fun and games sang along to their songs and whatnot... anyway afterwards the friends i was with bumped into a group of people we went to school with... and it was like oh cool everyones happy to see each other... but for some reason like they all avoided me... and it was like yeah ok then... its good to see you to...
So yeah when we went to left we were gonna decide who went home in whose car... because only 2 of us could drive... but the other one had the one passenger curfew... red plates (Australia thing again)... anyway i was like... guys i have 4 spare seats that we had already discussed would be there... it worked out that if i took 4... my other friend could drive 1... which was going to be his girlfriend... so it all work out good and we could drive home legally... but everyone thought it would be more "fun" to risk my friends license and drive home with him... and i told him... dude dont do that your already on record for speeding... and he was like nah man i dont care it will be heaps fun aye.... and i said look..................... You guys all got to have fun and hang out without me before the show... and i saved myself from drinking and went out of my way to be able to drive you guys home safely and legally... and typically none of that went through any of their heads... and they jsut left me there on my own... and i thought.... now thats just F(%*&ing rude... like that just S*&ts me right off... just wasted my time for nothing...
Now the thing is i work on friday and saterday nights... so i dont get to the clubs till everyones had a few drinks anyway... because they dont want to have to wait for me to have a beer... so yeah im designated driver EVERY single weekend... like i only finish at 9pm... not that late anyway... but its just stupid but yes after tonight like when they left for the show without me... it was like yes i understand that... but then i go out of my way to make sure they all get home safe and legally... which i actually discussed with them... then one of the others decides he will risk his license so they can all go with him and leave me sitting there thinking great i would have liked a beer... and i would have liked it with my friends...but i dont get either coz its not as fun to hang out with me... so yeah as i was driving home i just went absolutely psycho... like insanely psycho because this happens SO much to me... everyones your friend when they want something... otherwise your worthless... for me it is anyway... i was punching the steering wheel and screaming and carrying on... as infuriated as i was i convinced myself that i should pull over to let off some steam rather then risk it while driving... and that kinda settled me down... enough to get home... like its not even a big deal but it got to me so much... its like a routine... i get fooled into thinking they are really good friends and ill do anything for them but they wont even give me the respect to wait another 10 minutes for me...
ahhhhhhhh i dont know enough of that...
But does anyone else here feel more prone to meltdowns after a really good mood? like the contrast of the good times make the bad times feel much worse? dont know how to explain it but it feels like that how it is alot of the time...
18 Sep 2011, 9:55 am
Yes i get what you mean, the contrast from happy to sad is pretty big from itself right?
it feels like finally you are happy again and then BAAM! something happens in the more negative side and you feel like a wreck again.
i seems that you are very sensitive to small issues as i am, i would recommend to just try to not care.. you can't make other people's behaviour destroy you.
BE STRONG!! AFTER RAIN COMES SUNSHINE!
and to close this post correct
AFTER SUNSHINE COMES RAIN, BUT YOU NEED THE RAIN TO APPRECIATE THE SUN TO IT'S FULLEST 
18 Sep 2011, 10:13 am
18 Sep 2011, 10:21 am
Yeah some things get to me that probably really shouldnt... but when its people who you think are good friends... like i mean i only have a handfull that i really spend any time with... its hard to not think about it or to try not to worry... either way you get a weird lonely feeling... even though most days the only person i actually physically talk to is my brother when he gets home from school... like i can do that and not feel lonely knowing that ive got some friends to talk to if i need it... but after these kinda things its like... if i really actually needed to just talk to one of them... it would probably go in one ear and out the other... and now i just dont open up at all really... except for here on the odd occasion
But yeah thanks for the reply... i do try and think about the sun after the rain... but lets say its been a very rainy season with more rain on the forecast...
You gotta shine yourself to fake the sun
i don't have ANY friends myself so i get the case.
if you want a real friend for life you can always pm me, i love good talks which i haven't had for years with anyone besides myself.
can i ask how old your friends are mentally? that might explain why they act so impulsive. (impulsive people don't give themselves the chance to sense other people's emotions)
18 Sep 2011, 10:44 am
i don't have ANY friends myself so i get the case.if you want a real friend for life you can always pm me, i love good talks which i haven't had for years with anyone besides myself.
can i ask how old your friends are mentally? that might explain why they act so impulsive. (impulsive people don't give themselves the chance to sense other people's emotions)
Yeah i think i can do that... just need to go surfing or work on the car... you can surf in the rain... metaphorically and literally... always helps... thanks for the offer to ill send a pm a bit later before i go to bed...
Mentally my friends would be both older and younger depending on which one and what kind of thing were talking about... i have a thing with variables
im not very decisive... but in these circumstances you would expect a bunch of 19yos to consider what i was trying to do for them... but in saying that they wouldnt be anywhere near as sensitive if they were in my position... they probably wouldnt even think of it as an issue at all 
so yeah its kinda weird like that...
18 Sep 2011, 10:49 am
i don't have ANY friends myself so i get the case.if you want a real friend for life you can always pm me, i love good talks which i haven't had for years with anyone besides myself.
can i ask how old your friends are mentally? that might explain why they act so impulsive. (impulsive people don't give themselves the chance to sense other people's emotions)
Yeah i think i can do that... just need to go surfing or work on the car... you can surf in the rain... metaphorically and literally... always helps... thanks for the offer to ill send a pm a bit later before i go to bed...
Mentally my friends would be both older and younger depending on which one and what kind of thing were talking about... i have a thing with variables
im not very decisive... but in these circumstances you would expect a bunch of 19yos to consider what i was trying to do for them... but in saying that they wouldnt be anywhere near as sensitive if they were in my position... they probably wouldnt even think of it as an issue at all so yeah its kinda weird like that...Do you have strong relationships with them individually? or do you guys constantly hang out as a group? if you have good relations with them you could just text them about it and make them understand that not everyone copes with small issues like they do.. any good friend with understand that.
18 Sep 2011, 11:01 am
I think i do...
like from my side i think so anyway... but they know me well enough and they understand if i tell them... but they dont realise what they are doing at the time... but yeah depending on my mood ill change how i look at it... i dont know what to think about it... theres a million bigger issues i can worry about right now dont know why this was so distressing... ive actually calmed right down now i guess... just sitting in bed with music helps
18 Sep 2011, 3:52 pm
I think i do...
like from my side i think so anyway... but they know me well enough and they understand if i tell them... but they dont realise what they are doing at the time... but yeah depending on my mood ill change how i look at it... i dont know what to think about it... theres a million bigger issues i can worry about right now dont know why this was so distressing... ive actually calmed right down now i guess... just sitting in bed with music helpsThat's good
just try to tell them about it right away next time.
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