zero self-confidence

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You might think I'm Whining but...you'd be right

I have No confidence in myself,I can't remember a single thing I did that I can be proud of.As I see it their are two reasons for this.

1.I have never accomplished anything
2.My depression is somehow affecting whether or not I rember good stuff.

I'ts probably the latter but that gives me no reassurance that I'm not a complete loser.A list of the stuff I'm sad about is as follows.

1.I dropped out of high school (social problems,kids were picking on me and I couldn't take it anymore)

2.I've applied for a job several places but noby called me back (not even McDonald's and they were Hiring)

3.I'm fat (I've lost 50 pounds recently but I've Plateaud and now I can't seem to maintain my loss)...(and I'm eating less and exersizing more than ever)

4.I have the "talent" of remembering the stupidest things I've ever done at the worst times (I can't forgive myself for my mistakes)

5.Horrible social skills which means I've never been on a date,had a girlfreind,talked to a girl for more than a few minutes (very anxious minutes),only had 1 freind (we were the best of freinds...then I had to move away),I can't initiate conversations with strangers(even asking an employee of a store what aisle something is on).

6.Inadequately "Equipped" (major confidence drain/negative obsession)

7.I'm still living with my parents Because I can't decide what to do with my life (Everytime I think of something I would like to do I just remember that I would fail, so why try?)

8.I have really bad central tremors (shaky hands is how most ove my tremors manifest themselves) So that is a reason I can't be anything that requires a steady hand (for example:surgeon,military/police sniper,et cetera)


To quote a famous feline:

"Courage. What makes a King out of a slave? Courage.

What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage.

What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist or the dusky dusk? Courage.

What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage.

What makes the Sphinx the 7th Wonder? Courage.

What makes the dawn come up like THUNDER?! Courage.

What makes the Hottentot so hot? Courage.

What puts the "ape" in ape-ricot? Courage.

Whatta they got that I ain't got?...Courage."

If I had some confidence I could start making friends,I would feel better about myself and have more energy...which means I'd lose weight which means I'd feel even better about myself and I would have enough self-confidence to pick a future career and stick with it and eventualy meet a nice girl or two.

((FYI I'm 18 and a male))

I do this too! At bad times it goes on all day long. Whatever I'm thinking about, my thoughts just spiral towards every embarrassing, shameful or painful incident I've been through, and I re-live the pain all over again. I even obsess about things that seemed fine at the time, and re-frame them so that I come to regret them, if you see what I mean. This is very OCD-ish, I think. I have found antidepressants (specifically the SSRI fluoxetine) to help a lot with this. I just answered another post of yours actually, where I also mentioned fluoxetine. It may not suit you, but there are a lot of alternative medications that might benefit you in this way. I'd say talk to your doctor about it! All the best!

Thank you I think I will.

I was on fluoxentine for a while (5 years) andI think my body got used to it and somehow it stopped working for me,(so I quit taking it a couple moths ago)but I will talk to my doctor about alternatives.

I totally know how that is scrulie!

I did the same. And it was for the best.




I do exactly the same, and then I remember them all late at night and it makes me scream inside and bring me down. Much like you, scrulie.

You don't remember the times you do well because the times you do well you are 'only' living up to your expectations of a 'normal' NT person? It's far easier to remember the bad stuff...



It can be learnt. I still have problems, but I've come a long way since I was 18 (I'm 21 now). Practise.


There is research to say that AS people mature much later than their peers (from my own life I would agree), but it doesn't mean you won't get there.

Thank you hummingbird that made me feel better

Thank you hummingbird that made me feel better

Thank you hummingbird that made me feel better

First of all, you needn't have thanked me 3 times, that's just silly...

And second, I'm JJ. 'hummingbird' is my rank associated with how many posts I've made ;)

Take it easy

JJ

Teen angst coupled with impossibly high standards and a critical attitude that just won’t quit? You’ve really set yourself up, boy! I suspect that part of the problem is a lack of role models. You don’t know who you are and you have no idea who you could be. See if you don’t find some friends here:
<http://www.qis.net/~jschmitz/intj/index.htm>
and here:
<http://www.intp.org/>.
You may even find yourself here:
<http://keirsey.com/>.

I didn’t find out who I was until I was 43. After that, lemme tell ya, it’s been s-m-o-o-t-h sailing.

Been there. Done that.

geezer

I have shaky hands, too. In fact, one time, I had to type something at work while my supervisor was watching. It must have looked like I was typing a hundred words a minute my hands were shaking so bad. Amazingly, though, I made relatively few mistakes.

Perhaps you should get your GED and go to a community college. Status is a lot less important there, and more companies would be willing to hire someone who has at least some college education than none.

Thank you hummingbird that made me feel better

Thank you hummingbird that made me feel better

you really like to say "Thank you hummingbird that made me feel better" no?

yeah focussing on the negative is totally typical depressive symptom.

but seeing as you know you do this you should be able to try and recapture positive memories.


an its not about your achievements in life. its about your intentions. there are plenty of arrogant asses that have "achived" a lot. but i care not about them. i think much higher of the underachiving drop out with a nice soul