Warning: 80 Mini-Rants

Post Reply New Topic

1) When I’m having a meltdown, please don’t ask me what I’ll do to you. I know that you plan to sue me for intimidation regardless of what I reply.
2) Don’t ask me, “Who do you usually hang out with?” I don’t know how to answer this since I can’t figure out what you’re implying.
3) Don’t tell me that you hate your school but love the people in it. I just can’t imagine anyone hating a bunch of buildings.
4) Don’t wear your school tee whenever you go out just to show your school off. You claim that you have nothing else to wear?! Hello?! I refuse to believe that there is nothing but a school tee in your wardrobe.
5) Don’t boast about your school, and then label your boastful behavior as “school pride”.
6) Don’t sigh and say you don’t know how to deal with me anymore. I don’t know how to deal with you either.
7) When I ask you to treat me with “perfect neutrality”, don’t tell me that you don’t know what “perfect neutrality” means. Don’t tell me that it’s impossible for you to treat anyone with “perfect neutrality”.
Don’t call me anti-social because my definition might differ from yours. I define “anti-social” as “charming, manipulative and always lying”.
9) Don’t say that I’m studying in a school full of stupid juvenile delinquents. You’re implying that I’m a stupid juvenile delinquent too.
10) Don’t ask me what motivates me to stay alive.
11) When I ask you what are some “dos and don’ts” of Website X, please answer me directly. Don’t answer something like “Since you’re so afraid of offending people, then don’t join Website X!” I can imagine you muttering curses under your breath while typing them out.
12) Don’t call me cold-hearted just because I don’t cry while everyone else is crying. Crying isn’t always contagious.
13) Don’t beg me to stalk ___ online. Since you’re so interested in her interesting life, go stalk her yourself.
14) Don’t tell me that I’ve accumulated so much bad karma that I’ll be reborn as a pest. I refuse to believe in reincarnation.
15) Don’t tell me that God is having a good time punishing me for my sins right now. If I hang out with you any longer, you’ll start wondering why I’ve become increasingly atheistic.
16) Don’t speak so quickly that I can’t understand anything, then ask, “Why aren’t you paying attention?” when I ask you to repeat.
17) Don’t tell me that I creep you out because my overly expressive face doesn’t match my emotionless voice. When in doubt, concentrate on my facial expressions.
18) Don’t use “small talk” as an excuse to dig out information that you later use against me.
19) You may ask me to give you brutally honest answers, but don’t get upset with me when my brutally honest answers turn out to be politically incorrect.
20) Don’t gossip about others so loudly and so blatantly in my presence. Even if you seem nice enough to me, I would rather stay away from you so that you can’t use me as gossip fodder.
21) Don’t make fun of my hand-eye coordination/my gait/my strength/my speed. A doctor told me that my problem lies mainly with my brain rather than my muscles, so don’t expect me to cure myself overnight.
22) Don’t make me sing or dance in public because I know that you intend me to make a fool out of myself.
23) To certain teachers: Don’t always claim that certain students have been hell-bent on making your lives miserable. As far as I know, no student is sadistic to that extent.
24) To certain teachers: Don’t favor me so excessively that other students resent me for being your pet.
25) You can get angry with me since I’ve ratted on you, but don’t go around calling me a bully. I don’t understand why you perceive whistle-blowing as bullying.
26) To certain authors of children’s books: Don’t write that if your friend offends you, ostracize her so that she’ll realize her mistake.
27) Don’t scream and shout at me just because I’m a slow learner.
28) Don’t ask me to attempt that “Read the Eyes” test again. I always flunk it.
29) Don’t invite me to join Facebook.
30) Don’t tell me that all Aspies excel at Math. I’m not one of them.
31) Don’t blog that you’ll be devastated if you give birth to an Aspie.
32) Don’t ask me to define “love”, “friendship” and “loyalty”.
33) Don’t drag me to any family gathering again. Most of the relatives there treat me as their dartboard.
34) Don’t insist that you want to read my palm when I’ve already told you that I have zero interest in such mumbo-jumbo.
35) You read the Bible every day, yet you still can’t figure out why the Prosperity Gospel might be theologically unsound.
36) Don’t say stuff like “I’ve heard that you’re so lacking in common sense that you’ll probably deposit cheques into the dustbin.”
37) I understand that your parents have taught you to please people by giving them gifts, but you should have discovered my dad’s quirk by now. He doesn’t really like to receive gifts, so please don’t buy us any gift next time.
38) If I offer to take care of your bag while you go off to the loo, please accept my offer. Don’t accuse me of intending to steal your valuables.
39) We Aspies often get ignored since our hosts have better things to do. When ignored, ask politely if you can read their newspapers or watch their TV. Don’t sit cross-legged on the floor and stare into blank space. I can guarantee you that no NT will come and rescue you from boredom.
40) Don’t stammer so often. I have already overcome my stammering by speaking at a slower pace, so if you slow down, maybe you won’t stammer so often.
41) When in doubt, talk about current affairs. Don’t talk about your pet topics since I might not know much about them, but don’t pry too much into my life either because I might find you nosy.
42) Don’t ask me all sorts of intrusive questions out of “concern” and/or “curiosity”. If you need to find something to gossip about, go read the tabloids.
43) Don’t use the word “incoherent” on me. I abhor that word. If you don’t understand what I’m saying, kindly tell me what you don’t understand.
44) Don’t say that my brain is “full of s**t”.
45) Stop reminding me that I’m the black sheep of my family.
46) If you have nothing constructive to say, then don’t say anything. Don’t try any of your “witticisms” on me again.
47) Don’t blame me if I never voice out why I’m so upset with you. My parents have warned me not to criticize anyone older than me.
48) Don’t tell me that you prefer a fox-like politician (proud and cunning) to a lamb-like politician (cute and innocent). I’m averse to politicians who assume that people are too dumb to question their policies.
49) If our personalities clash so often that you have no choice but to ignore me, please treat me as invisible from now on. When you see me, don’t you dare show me your hostility. You can’t possibly be hostile towards a non-existent person.
50) Don’t stand so close to me while talking that I can smell your breath. When I step back, do get my hint. Don’t stand any closer.
51) Don’t ask me to wear contacts; don’t ask me to pierce my ears. I don’t want to risk infection.
52) I’m grateful that you’ve introduced me to Organizational Behavior textbooks, but when you see me reading them, don’t make remarks such as “Oh dear, poor thing! You learn social norms through books?”
53) Don’t tell me that money can buy affection.
54) Don’t boast in front of me that you aspire to join politics. I would rather spoil my vote than vote for you.
55) Don’t ask me why I’m the one-and-only tone-deaf person in my family, I don’t know! (I’m tone-deaf to the extent that I can’t tell whether one pitch is higher or lower than another.)
56) Don’t you dare write about me in your compositions just to earn high marks. When the teachers photocopy the highest-scoring compositions for all to read, I can recognize myself in more than one composition.
57) Don’t be prejudiced against me solely because your best friend is prejudiced against me.
58) You can tell me that I need more tact, but when I ask you what tact is, don’t answer, “Go figure it out yourself.”
59) Don’t ignore me when I’m telling you something, then ask me afterwards, “Why didn’t you say anything just now?”
60) Don’t ask me why your life isn’t as melodramatic as mine.
61) I have only met you once so far, so I didn’t have the chance to tell you this. You shouldn’t have told them that your son is an Aspie. Firstly, your son might mind. Secondly, I overheard some of them saying that your son “seems too bright to be an Aspie”.
62) Don’t make me write essays such as “The Benefits of Cliques”. I forgot everything I wrote once I finished writing.
63) If I evade your question, don’t ask it again.
64) When I say something that offends you, don’t always assume that I’m being malicious. When you say something that offends me, don’t always laugh it off as a joke.
65) Don’t tell me that since countries that adopt protectionism end up weakening themselves, I should stop practicing protectionism and start trading with you. Since I’m not a country, I don’t understand what you mean.
66) ______ isn’t my spokesperson, so don’t believe everything that she says about me.
67) I understand that you’re just trying to be friendly, but stop filling my ears with health food tips. When you sound overly enthusiastic about health food, NTs might view you as creepy.
68) It’s alright for you to say that we can’t please everyone else all the time, but it’s not very alright when you add, “But ______ is an exception! She pleases everyone she knows!”
69) No matter how much I annoy you, don’t reveal all your worst traits at once whenever you see me. I always wonder whether your niceness is just a façade.
70) Don’t ask me why they treat you so nicely while snubbing people like me. Come on, since they have already acknowledged you as a member of their clique, they will definitely treat you well.
71) Since others have already warned you that you might find ______ crude and offensive, don’t complain about ______ after participating in it. I won’t sympathize with you.
72) Don’t assume that I’m so ignorant that I don’t know where your workplace is. (I flip through the street directory whenever I’m bored.)
73) Don’t pay too much attention to publicity stunts unless you’re working for the media. (Sometimes, people spend days debating whether a particular publicity stunt deserves praise or condemnation.)
74) When I complain that something is overpriced, don’t always assume that I can’t afford it.
75) Don’t give me a lecture on AIDS since I’m not one of those people who believe that one can contact AIDS through a handshake.
76) When something bad happens, don’t always mark me out as your prime suspect.
77) Don’t describe me as “a b***h that is easy to bully”. What an oxymoron.
78) When you ask me for “further details”, don’t blame me if the “further details” turn out to be several pages long.
79) If you want to offend them, go ahead and offend them. Don’t ask me to be your “hit man” so that you won’t get the blame.
80) To certain scriptwriters: When all loose ends are tied up, please end the drama. Don’t introduce new characters.

Wow, I didn't believe it was possible. But they are very mini rants.

I do have a problem with what you say here and I'm an aspie myself. What you want is for people to be 100% objective in a perfect manner. I can guarantee you this will never happen. Here is why. All human beings come from different backgrounds and have different thoughts perceptions and biases. Personally, I can and will try to be as objective with you as possible but I will have thoughts that will lead me to make unsound arguments. I have been trying to seek objective truths myself but what I have come to understand is that my own perceptions cloud my ability to understand reality with 100% objectivity.

I will be as objective as possible and if I am wrong please show me where I'm wrong and why I'm wrong.

To cubedemon6073: Thank you very much for pointing out the flaw in my logic. When I ask for "perfect neutrality", I'm asking for "neither like nor dislike me, be 100% bias-free", but my mini-rants here show that I'm biased when various issues are concerned, so it's unreasonable for me to ask for "perfect neutrality" from others.

I do have a problem with what you say here and I'm an aspie myself. What you want is for people to be 100% objective in a perfect manner. I can guarantee you this will never happen. Here is why. All human beings come from different backgrounds and have different thoughts perceptions and biases. Personally, I can and will try to be as objective with you as possible but I will have thoughts that will lead me to make unsound arguments. I have been trying to seek objective truths myself but what I have come to understand is that my own perceptions cloud my ability to understand reality with 100% objectivity.

I will be as objective as possible and if I am wrong please show me where I'm wrong and why I'm wrong.

No problem, we would have to have all of the facts about people and existence itself to have perfect neutrality. Look at science. It's barely scratching the surface. You can try to be as objective as possible though. What you can do is to ask them to be as objective as possible though.

What I did with you is what I wish other people would do with me. I wish people would show me where I was flawed and why it is flawed. From my perceptions, a lot of these arguments could be avoided.