Don't even bother reading, I'm just ranting

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I am well aware the following is self centered, bitchy, hateful, mean, ridiculous and vain. I really don't give a crap what anyone thinks of it anymore. I hope my delusional feeling this life is not real is true, because I'd love to just leave this damn planet and forget the human race.

So I deleted my Facebook.

No, it wasn't the constant changes. It wasn't me being harassed and bullied. I wasn't sick of the spam. You know why I deleted it? I was jealous. 163 people, my "Friends". All of them, interacting with each other, "poking" and sending invites... it was eating away at me, slowly increasing my absolute hatred for them for having each other when I had no one. I would go down the page just for the torture of it, getting increasingly irate as every post added to my anger.

Then I saw it. "Jounior Year Pics...best days of my life <3". My instinct is to laugh at the misspelling and feel better a little since, if nothing, I'm smarter, until the message hit. 50 pictures of her and her friends. All of her closest friends, huddled up for the camera, hugging each other with the big damn smiles on their damn faces. "best days of my life". I felt weird. Like, utter devestation over this one girl's photo album. I deleted her from my friends first. Then I started going down the list. Blank faces, I couldn't recognize have of them. One by one they were deleted, so so slowly, each one gone like a slap to the back of the head.

Then I saw them. People I called my closest friends. People I cried with, people that I genuinely loved and cared for at one point. The rest, excluding family, were just strangers. Strangers I hated. But these people, these "friends" I had loved so much and missed, seeing them completely ignore me, seeing them refuse to talk to me, seeing them live on their lives without me so easy. I just deleted the account. I wasn't going to be able to stand looking at their faces and deleting them one by one as memories of our laughing and playing and joy together flashed through my head.

And now, I am stuck. I am at a cross between wanting to hate every damn human, wanting to never see one again or have to deal with the fact that they couldn't care less how much pain I'm in.

But another part wants something. I don't even know how to interact with people anymore. I don't know what I want. I honestly couldn't tell you why I want human interaction anymore, what I expect.

You know what? Screw this all of this. I should just delete this account too. All I do is whine and f*****g b***h about shite on here and NOTHING is going to help me short of killing myself.

Jesus, I seriously am drowning in my hate for everything God created. I just need to hurry up and die.

It is really called Fakebook and people have carefully curated images they keep up on Facebook and it is all very intentional and yes Fake.

I have days when I cannot stand to look at Facebook and I don't want to KNOW all that stuff about all my 'friends' and what they are doing every single minute of the day.

It is an artificial environment where people put 'spin' on their lives to make themselves sound as wonderful and happy as possible. I read somewhere that only 1/3 of the people that post on Facebook tell the truth, everyone else either exaggerates or flat out lies about themselves.

It is no wonder that it annoys you. Thanks to the internet we now know what people from our past our doing and then some, whether you want to know or not.

Just saying you are not alone in your disdain for Facebook....and it sounds like you are having a not very good, horrible day. Keep breathing, it will pass.

Meanwhile, if you are suffering from clinical depression, which you maybe, then please see a doctor, help is available. But you classified this as a rant, so perhaps not.

I love rants, why I had to look, hang in there!

I love your rant. Rant on. Hopefully it's cathartic and you know some of us are paying attention and nodding.

I left Facebook because half of the messages were from people merely trying to sound clever; the other half was 24/7 nostalgia from people I hadn't been in touch with for years. The latter bunch brought out bad memories in me - the kind that will haunt an aspie at 3:00 AM. They're probably incidents that no one else remembers or cares about. Why is it so hard to embrace the good stuff?

To the OP: I think they call this The Human Condition.

I think this next comes from some movie: "It's not that you had it so bad, it's that others had it so good."

And as some others have said: with a title that confrontational, there will definitely be some contrary people who will make a point of reading it. I can understand why you wrote it. It's probably healthier than bottling it inside [1].

[1] Although I've some experience in bottling hurtful things up inside until you don't really notice the anger, hurt and anguish anymore. It's probably still in there somewhere.

Let me guess, you're in high school? Facebook is the worst thing to ever happen to high schoolers' social lives. We have an entire generation that thinks FB is REALITY! FB annoys me to no end. I never made an account on FB, because i really don't want to be "friends" (heh) with my high school tormentors, and I went to a community college so I didn't make any friends there, AND I have no friends right now.

Also, FB is full of viruses and other nasty programs that rip up your PC. Ever heard of "Koobface"? Koobface was a program that spread via Facebook that turned your PC into a "zombie" in a botnet controlled by the Russian Mob. It was nearly impossible to get rid of. And it spread via what looked like a real "Adobe" software update.

I've visited Facebook pages before, and EVERY SINGLE TIME I got inundated with "You have viruses!" type messages. If you click "ok", you install the ransomware (programs that take over your PC, then demand that you pay to remove them) on your PC. Facebook DOES NOT CARE that their service is littered with this crap.

And that's not starting in on FB's sociology, where people make sure that their life is better than anybody else's. It's a STUPID competition. Even worse, news sites are going to FB-based comment systems, where you MUST have a FB account to comment on articles! If FB had existed when I was your age, kid, I would have killed myself. Really.

I don't know if this life is real, but I do know FB isn't real. I have an account and I use it to keep in touch with a handful of people I've known since forever, and also some online friends, but I don't pay attention to it much. The people I have as "friends" on FB don't do that kind of crap (try to make out that their life is so much better than anyone else's) or they wouldn't still be on my list. I don't need that. Still, it is so banal and silly that I don't pay much attention to it anyway.

I liked your rant, btw

~Kate

Well if you ever reactivate your FB account, you can friend me.

Dont worry about FB, it is a totally weird medium. It shouldnt be taken seriously.

I'm glad I never started. Hell I'm almost lucky to have gotten expelled from HS at 16 when I did, what a tragedy modern life is. I guess I realized everything you said in abstract, and that's why social networking never appealed to me. Unfortunately, people are wanting real life in their internet, which is not a Reese's combination... Also, online gaming never interested me either, a lot of my friends do that. Eventually, after the feelings of anger over everyone's...whatever it is is over, you'll just learn to just do some silly hobbies like work out and build Gundam models or something, maybe you'll make new friends, maybe the same fate of those new friends will be as your old ones, life will go on. C'est la vie...

But yes, Facebook is dumb.

Oh, as far as God goes, read Ecclesiastes. A couple times through just to make sure. People are mixed, you know, try to be as compassionate as you can for them, realizing they have faults, as you do too. Sometimes you need to take a break from people. A lot of Christians feel guilty, as the idea of a super great Christian in especially most Protestant churches today is some charismatic extrovert who can empathize and make people feel loved, and they can't live up to that standard. That was me. I'm just wired differently, I read about monks, who became hermits, ascetics, etc, and I felt a lot better. God blessed them marvelously, even though they weren't "preaching the gospel" 24/7. If you hate it all that much, just relax, avoid people, be nice to them, but avoid them, and rest from all the...peopleness. Then, eventually, you'll be able to ease back in, but just try to remember not to over exert yourself with...peopleness, and over-righteousness in that regard. When there's nothing you can do, pray and just see what happens, imo. It's free. Doesn't take that much effort...

Oh well. Screw facebook again, though. I refuse to use it. I will not eat facebook's green eggs and ham.

Seriously didn't expect replies from that.

I was forced by my mother to reactivate it in order to be her FarmVille neighbor. God forbid one less person sends the woman trees or permits or whatever. My "Friends" exclusively consist of my one actual friend, one close aquantince, a girl from homeschooling I talk to, and family. No longer will I hunt for lost childhood classmates in a desperate fight for friendship. And I will not tolerate idiots posting their "oh-so-cheery" lives online. No, I've learned better than that. I also will not befriend people who I will be tempted to speak ill of. In other words, I will likely not have many "Friends".

It's much nicer this way, and I am glad I no longer hate humans. We'll see how long that lasts. I'm glad I'm not the only person who saw the cruelty on FaceBook, but I must admit I was one of those "try to look smart and witty" people, but I'm like that in real life too. I haven't the ablity to fake my personality unless I'm in "writer mode" (where my personality turns the same shade of harsh, sarcastic, cruel humor every time).

I will never understand teenagers. Small children? I act like a child anyway. Elders? Honestly, it seems like a respectful, quiet and charming demeanor will win over most elderly folk, and I love our talks. Teenagers and young adults? It's like their in a constant battle of popularity and self gain, where most of their friends are for show and they are all in the center of their very own galaxy. And FaceBook is the battle field where all of these self centered people clash, mending and bending their personalities until they are on top.

And certainly they have NO clue what they are doing. I know because I was doing it too for the longest time. And, like you brilliant folk, I figured out how utterly horrific and idiotic it all was.

Now, I am getting a feel for who I am, and I certainly am not anyone that any of these people would associate with anyway. I'm fully aware of how utterly ego-centric I am, because as much as I hate myself, I live for me and me alone. Not to mention I'm completely nuts .

Please don't encourage my ranting. Everyone seems to encourage it when I'm trying to stop it. It feels like a bad habit.

I don't really see a problem with facebook itself. It's not the Real World (TM), but it is a way for people to connect online, to the extent they're capable of.

I see a lot of the same thing... a ton of people on my feed interacting with each other and not as much with me. Of course I see the same thing in real life, so Facebook isn't the problem here. Asperger's is the problem here.

As the OP noticed, Facebook tends to let you see just how much and how closely and fluently other people are interacting with each other even if they won't interact with you - in Real Life, usually they'll be on guard if one of us is around and you won't even see what they're like among their own kind. With Facebook, you can better see what you're missing out on. If you're into anthropology, you might think that's an advantage. If you just get jealous, then that feature of Facebook becomes a big disadvantage.