I am not sure what to do. I feel like my life is lacking things. At times, when something good happens, I feel great. But I feel stung when left in boredom. And sadly, despite being in university now, whether it's from apathy, habit, or moral code, I cannot find much to do. I only have a few aquaintances there, no real friends. And why would I have any friends? I can't really talk to people since watching people talk is tiring, trying to talk makes me feel sick, and I do not see how anyone would relate to my 'hobbies", which I will not mention to keep this text from becoming something inappropriate to read. I can't even relate to their "hobbies." I wouldn't relate with the guys because I don't care about sports (I don't even know what ESPN stands for) and I find attempts to confirm gender identity (being a "man") laughable. Nor can I really get somewhere with women; I never kissed or made a pass with one and I find procreation unnecessary and counter-productive. In moments of boredom, I am pretty much a cold machine (which I have pride in for some reason). The only common ground I have with others that I can think of at the moment is that I love comedies, but, again, I'm not much of a talker and, even if I did talk, I probably would not really benefit from the small conversation anyway. Okay, sorry about the verbose rant; I wanted to my point to be clear: I am trapped concerning lifestyle. Any ideas?
P.S. I just found it contradictory that I admitted myself to being verbose when I also said I am not much of a talker. I guess I communicate better using computers.
02 Oct 2011, 4:13 pm
I'm like that too. People say I am a woman of few words, but they have obviously never seen my essays.
