sociable_hermit wrote:
I normally feel sorry for myself because no-one sends me a card or a text message or an e-mail or anything, and then I feel really worthless and wonder why I don't have many friends.
And then, eventually, normally by about tea-time, I realise that it's because I haven't actually bothered to tell anyone that it's my birthday, because I hate making phone calls and I'm particularly bad at saying anything that seems even remotely self-centered, and I haven't organised a party or anything because I don't have time to organise one, plus my flat is a tip because I don't have any motivation to tidy it up.
I also remember all of the times throughout the year when I've forgotten the birthdays of others, through being too tired, too busy, too distracted or too obsessive over something. And I equate how that must have felt for my friends at the time with how I feel right now, and I feel guilty.
So basically, each year I conclude that I'm a very sad man with no-one to blame but myself.
Eeyore is my role model, sometimes.
K, the thing with me is, I tell people, but then they don't really care. They still don't bother with it.
_________________
I am not a puppet. I am a grenade.
Jon Devine, social correspondant
25 Oct 2006, 4:47 pm
