vicious cycles

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like the figure 8 and infinity it seems. I am caught up in a vortex of depression and I can't get out.
It is always 'something'.
Finances - gets me depressed - so I start to take charge, ready to do combat,
but not fast enough because I am depressed.
Finances get worse, no one will help or listen to me, I get more depressed
starting to sound like crazy woman.
Most favorite pet dies suddenly - can't get past it -
Back hurts, get sick - guilty for being weak - get behind in everything - add to depression.
The house gets messy, too depressed to clean, it gets messier
Husband gets mad. Depression spirals.
Daughter-in-law manipulating family and friends - she won't/can't stop.
Please just stop. it hurts.
Marriage problems with daughter - helpless - confused - worried, depressed more.
Can't complete projects - too depressed - feelings of guilt - depression worsens.
Must go help with my mother - too depressed - more guilt, more depression.
I end up on the couch a blob. Drag myself to work and attempt to facilitate
some semblance of self control, only to walk into my messy house,
close the door and feel all energy drain into the vortex of depression
and know nothing is ever going to change. Ever.
"I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream" (Ellison)

This sounds very difficult. There are so many variables there that you just can't control.

I wonder if it will help with your feelings of guilt and stress any if you allow yourself, not necessarily forever but while you get yourself happy and healthy again, to not do everything you are "expected" to do. I know you feel an obligation to do things to keep things running but the fact is you need to focus on your own health before you can help other people. Otherwise your health becomes another grave problem. I wonder if there is any way to say to yourself, I'm doing everything I can vis-a-vis daughter-in-law, it is notmy responsibility. I wonder if a temporary different living arrangement would be possible and helpful. Just an idea, I don't know if that would make things worse or better but for instance if stress is high in your house maybe you can stay with another family member for awhile? And get a new perspective on things?

Is there any way to change your work schedule so you have some time not spent running around and you are less stressed? I know this might impact finances, an issue you mentioned, and I wonder if there's some kind of solution... I wonder what the possibilities are for work and finance, basically, I don't know your situation.

It sounds very hard but it's not hopeless.

Thank you,
I own my own business and right now after 7 years it is failing and I may lose it. I have 9 employees that are counting on having the jobs, in this economy and I feel responsible for them. And since my business partner is also my son-in-law I feel trapped between not wanting to add to his stress with my daughter and getting him more involved in saving the business. Which I can't really get him involved in because he is focused on his family.
I keep trying to remind myself 'who's problem is this' but when your child is talking divorce the pain of not being able to help and watching a family of four disintegrate with out being able to help is frustrating.
I am sure I went through back pain and illness because of the stress. I am trying to eat healthy, but all this has caused insomnia and I can't sleep more than a few hours.
I wake up with thoughts of the business, my family, my pet, my house, the bills.
Probably nothing anyone has not gone through before, much I have faced in the past and got through it, but it just seems to pile on one after another.
I'm 63 and have been through a lot already and just don't have the energy to face more.
So, I am thinking of selling the business, to pay bills, insure jobs for my employees and reduce stress, but then there is the stress of not being able to find work for my son and myself. Thus a vicious cycle.
So I must try to find energy to clean because it seems like the only thing I can control.