Telling people about yourself

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My auntie asked me about my life and I said it as it is, I told her that I have no desire at all to have any friends or a girlfriend and all I do for fun is learn science related things and apply my knowledge. I felt a bit ashamed saying it. People and the media make it out like its wrong to isolate yourself and have no friends. They usually portray people like this as mentally ill. I know that the things I do for fun are things that most people consider work and dislike doing and only do when they have to. Its an absurd world we live in though isn't it. People who have fun doing productive things get looked down on by the masses whereas people who spend their free time socialising, watching football on TV and other pointless activities are considered healthy minded.

Why do people think that it's wrong to live your life the way that it makes you happy? NTs are always trying to make us more like them. What if we are happy as we are and don't want to be like them? I'm always working on my "projects" (as I cal them), and it makes me happy. I'd rather do that than socialize. Why can't others just accept that I can be happy the way I am, doing the things I like? Unfortunately, most MTs don't seem to be able to understand…

Yeah I know exactly what you mean. Projects would be a better way to put it cuz theres always a grand plan behind it all. Maybe the reason I have no trouble accepting that you're happy with your lifestyle is because I can relate but then again I can accept that NTs are happy with the way they live their lives. Then again I often hear people talking about the pursuit for happiness as if its something they don't already have. Maybe a lot of NTs aren't happy with their lives and thats why they have trouble believing that others are, especially others that in no way partake in the pursuits they believe lead to happiness.

Not just NTs. Aspies also attempt to impose their ways on others. Check out PPR. It's full of 'my way is right, yours is wrong', 'my thinking is correct, yours is wrong'.



Your average NT is mentally ill if they do this. You have to remember that we're in a minority group.



Socialising is productive to those people. They don't understand your world, you don't understand theirs. It's a theory of mind problem that goes both ways.

But to your problem... yes it's irritating when people attempt to impose their ways upon you.

They probably do it out of love though. They cannot comprehend how it can possibly be okay to stay in on their own and read science and not hang out with their buddies. Back to theory of mind deficits.

They are worried about you enough to care that you might have a problem, at least a problem in their eyes.

The NT human is geared towards socialisation as an evolutionary strategy for viability; that is, the human race survives and thrives primarily by being composed of social creatures who can work together in networks. To not be socially oriented, to bond with and co-operate with the pack, used to be a sure way to death, and knowing this probably causes them disturbance on a very deep level.

My advice would be to pay lip service to your families demands, socialise a little bit (it can be useful to know how to do this anyway), make yourself financially independent if at all possible, and then they may stop worrying and you can do what you want.

Yep, I think you're spot on. They often make it out like I'm wasting my time doing what I do and I often see it as they are wasting their time doing what they do. Scientists bring uncover knowledge which alleviates the suffering of mankind and makes things better for everyone. I can't see how people are working towards the greater good by socialising but I've learned enough to know that just because I don't see something, doesn't mean its not there. I'm blind to things they see and vice versa. Maybe I have to be blind to what they see to be able to see what I do. Someone born with hearing difficulties is forced to develop their visual thinking ability to compensate for the auditory thinking ability they lack. By combining our sight, sight and skills we can see, know and do a lot more so we should all accept each others differences because it is these differences that catalyse the evolution of the human race.

That's an interesting perspective. I believe that we each see the world through a particular shape and colour of lens, and we should use our unique perspective and hone our skills around it, ultimately to the benefit of all. One of the qualities of my own particular lens is an ability to see both sides; and therefore that lends itself to becoming the diplomat... builder of bridges; balancer; Libran

It's not possible for us to know exactly how others perceive the world, and communication is often a let down. It's worth striving to develop that communication though, if at all possible.

If you are able to give your science knowledge a practical and pro social application, you won't be seen as wasting your time. Maybe there's something you can do there... Would joining a science club or tutoring science to younger students be completely out of the question?

Yeah I noticed that, you saw that NTs consider their socializing to be a productive activity. That would explain their behavior/attitude towards socializing and refraining from it very well so I suspect thats actually how it is.


In my experience this is something that comes with wisdom and this wisdom is gained through experiences (usually harsh ones) which force you to temporarily observe from a perspective closer to that of the person you previously couldn't understand. If that comes naturally to you then you have a powerful ability that can be used to do great good in the world. The more new perspectives I experience, the more difficult it becomes to judge others and hold negative views of them. My negative views towards others usually seem to be caused by a misunderstanding of what thoughts/beliefs is motivating them to be the way they are.



Technology which increases peoples ability to communicate (i.e. cell phones, VoIP etc.) is an example of that and I love everything to do with technology so I could easily get into that. I'd love to join a science club, never thought of that. As for tutoring students on science related fields I'm planning on doing that in the near future.

It could well be that there are ways to rephrase your interests in ways that "feel positive" to NTs.

Logical, Aspie-ish persons see that sort of rephrasing as needless, inefficient BS. Nonetheless they leave me alone more often when I take a bit of time to reassure them that although what I'm doing doesn't sound "fine," it is.