Why did my parents have to come home.

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In 2003, I drank a whole bottle of whiskey and fell on the ground face first and was drowning in my own puke. Then my parents came home and rushed me to the emergency room where they pumped me full of IVs. They said if my parents had been home 15 minutes later I would have been dead. Why did they have to come home at that instant?

Probly Fate.

Maybe they were spying on you.

Lol what, cameras in the walls or something?

Most likely it was coincidence. Things happen. Move on. OP you have to decide where you want to go from here.

Why did you have to drink a whole bottle of whiskey?

dumb luck really.

8 years later, i wish they hadn't come home. It would have been the perfect ending to my life.

Well that's a bummer you feel that way. I guess it's hard for any of us to think of what to say if nothing in life brings you any joy or even contentment. Some how it comes off as if you view your existence as a mistake.

Even if you feel that is true I wonder if there is no way for you to accept being here as a living person or if you just want to wait for your eventual death?

I mean life doesn't have to be a grand experience with high expectations you feel you need to live up to. You can work an average job leading an average life taking simple pleasures as they come.

Yes I view it as a mistake. I truly wasn't meant to be here. I get joy out of nothing, and can't "fake the funk." If I actually had to leave the house for several hours at a time and be out in the public working at a job, I'd either be hospitalized or would have actually went through with suicide.

I'm a total loner and other than my parents, brother, and a few online friends don't have anyone I can relate to. I have some real life friends but they truly don't understand since they didn't grow up as outcasts or anything close and just think "oh you need to get out more" which is what I don't need.

Well some people are just loners and need their space. It would be nice if you weren't in an unpleasant life situation where you felt finding a niche for yourself in this world was impossible.

As for yourself and a job I'd wonder if a night shift job would work for you.

Actually one of my first jobs out of high school was cleaning in a shopping mall but during the night when the whole building was empty. Sometimes I had one co-worker or often it was just by myself. So there you have a situation where you're just putting in labor time and not dealing with anyone.

Maybe a job like that with minimal noise and chaos would be tolerable if you could find something like that.