Painful Childhood memories wont go away

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Painful memories of my childhood are ruining my life. I cant stop thinking about them.
Some of these things happened as far back as kindergarten. I don't understand why they still hurt me.
I remember being physically harmed by kids at school because I was weird. This was long before anyone knew I had aspergers
Kids would cut me with scissors. They would trip me and bang me up against the wall. After that they would laugh at me when I was crying and in pain.
I tried to tell the teachers but would not believe me unless they kids were caught in the act.
I would like to be able to move on with my life but it is not that easy because I was hurt from the time I was four years old I now hate myself very badly.
I still repeat "I hate myself and want to die" in my head over and over again. I am still very afraid of people and let them take advantage of me. I think I am worthless.
The strange thing is I don't hate or blame the people that hurt me because I blame myself. i know that it is not my fault but I still blame myself because I am worth nothing.
The worst thing is that I have dreams about my childhood. These dreams are very realistic dreams almost like it is happening all over again.
My family does not understand. They tell me to let it go and that I have grown up. How can I move on when it replays in my dreams?

You need to find a good therapist.

Childhood trauma at school is a very legitimate cause of adult psychological problems. I developed social anxiety from mine and they weren't nearly as bad as what you describe.

*hugs* and good luck.

I have similar feelings. I had a school camping trip when I was in grade 6, a week away from home with just classmates and teachers. It was awful. It was one of my first realizations that I really didn't fit in at all with other people.

One morning the kids, (and the supervising teacher), all got up early, ripped the sheet and pillow off my bed while I was sleeping then locked me in the cottage alone, I then missed breakfast. It was a joke for them, but a scar I still carry with me at age 40.

I try to remember that this is 30 years in the past, but that is no condolence. It still hurts. This is but one of thousands of bad experiences I've lived through and that I remember. Even at random, with nothing particularily bothering me, I can remember any number of painful problems I've had in the past; I can never really escape from them.

I know how you feel. I have had many embarrassing moments that still attack me as memories. When I suddenly remember them, my face will contort into a frown or grimace no matter where I am. Sometimes I will shout NO at the memories, even if there are people watching.
But I realized, I cant change the past. Its not fun to dwell on my mistakes, but if I forget them completely I wouldn't have learned from them.
I understand that right now its not mistakes that are haunting you, its a trauma. And trauma memories are different. No one can literally "Move on" from bad memories, they may stay with you your whole life, and it may take some time for the feelings to dull.
Sometimes you may not want to forget the trauma, but let me tell you the truth:
You do not deserve to be treated poorly.