To be left alone

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At college, I don't talk a lot because I don't feel the need to, unless it's to exchange information. Some people view me as odd because of this, and I get looked at in a really funny way sometimes. I want to continue not talking to people (because I find people boring to talk to). I make very basic errors of forgetting to ask people about their exam results when they've asked me about mine, for example. To a point it's a good thing, because it's always obvious when I fake interest in other people and then I appear needy or creepy. I can only get away with appearing interested when I'm in a particularly happy mood.

Is there any way of getting away with being quiet (and content)...and just saying the odd thing every now and again? It seems OK for guys to be this way. I've noticed with the older people in my group, they think I'm odd, but they'll still include me in (I guess out of sympathy) and the younger people - slag me off. And, it's always younger girls who do it.

I just want to be left alone (random people too seem to be able to "sniff" me out). Like the other day, I had to sit next to this girl to take a computer based exam and she said to me, "There's another room for you to sit" and said several other things to make me go away. I responded, "I'm not going to bother you" and she shut up.

So, yes...how do you get away with being quiet? Or get other people to leave you alone?

I'm often quiet and I'm pretty sure people think I'm odd--I simply don't let it bother me. [Not sure if that answers your question]

On another side, I simply avoid situations I don't want to be in, especially avoiding unnecessary social situations where I'm not comfortable.

And if I still have people bugging me, I'll just be blunt and explain why: "I got a headache, and I can't think straight and need some time to myself", "I got a lot on my mind" "I'm busy" or even "I'm not interested" if you really want to be forward.

Part of it is finding people who are understanding.

You pose a difficult question!

Unrelated--Glad to see you back Smudge! How'd exams go [assuming my memory doesn't stink and that was the reason you left!]?

--David

Hi, thanks for asking, and well done for remembering! I don't remember speaking to you before, but it's nice to know I've been missed! So far, I've passed my exams (either a pass or fail) and I've one more to go. For the first time in my life, I've actually enjoyed studying and haven't ended up feeling demotivated or depressed, despite my college messing things up again (including many distractions during the first 20 minutes of one exam).

I don't let it bother me either most of the time - I just wondered about others ways to tell people to sod off when they're being disrespectful about it.

No problem! I got a weird memory. I'll forget a doctor's appointment tomorrow and remember stuff like this! [Probably because you asked to be banned--unusual!]

Good job passing your exams! Good luck on the last one.

Oh, I lurk more than I post. I don't stand out much, and I try not to. I don't feel like I have a lot to say or add and feel that I don't fit in quite often too.

I was similar regarding uni. I didn't take it very seriously, and it wasn't until my last few semesters that I actually started applying myself more. I enjoyed it more and learned a lot more as well.

Thanks! How comes you feel you don't fit in here? I don't that much either, to be honest. It's just that people here sometimes discuss more interesting topics, and it's somewhere to vent. What did you study?

Hey Smudge! As this is getting a bit off topic--I sent you a PM.

Who feels they fit in here I'd be intrested to know

Well your a 20 something good looking (if I recall correctly you where rejected by a suitor based on looks ) who's in college so naturally your expected to a be a party girl.



I think your damned if you do damned if you don't just go with what feels most comfortable and go under the radar what does it matter once college is over you wont ever meet these people again.

Well, a photo of mine that *I* post is obviously going to be biased towards looking the thinnest and prettiest I can look!

I'm sure I've been rejected by many people based on looks - but hasn't everyone?

Not possible.

At best-- you'll get completely ignored, feel entirely alone. Then when you need something, even practical--you'll get strange looks like "when did this person start talking?"

Also with the guy versus girls thing and who has it worse--neither imo.

You can sometimes get away with being quiet amongst the opposite sex. If they like you, they'll treat you nicer for biased reasons. Or maybe they don't know how to deal with the opposite sex and will stay quiet as a result. But then.. sometimes the opposite occurs, sometimes they'll pester the heck out of you if they have a crush or tease you. This is just my opinion anyway.

Then there are people who "understand" somewhat quiet or awkward people and will treat you with some courtesy.

Point is.. you don't escape this stuff. You can find better relationships, better situations etc. But there is always going to be some sort of odd social situation or dilemma. Even social people deal with it.

Don't get away with it.. just do it if its your preference.

At my job I get really annoyed if I feel people treat me different because of my demeanor, walk, speech pattern or uncharacteristically high vocabulary usage.

By different I mean ignore, smile and laugh at/with other people other than me, etc. Some of this is might be in my head.. (as it might've been with the girl you mentioned.. I don't know, there's not enough to go on based on whats written)

But there are more people I like than those who "treat" me differently, so I just ignore them, stay quiet and weird and when i'm ready to talk--I choose to talk to people who I actually enjoy talking to and only talk to the others if it pertains to work.

So, I'll just carry on as I am then. Thanks for the advice, guys!

This really is a tough question, but one i can totally relate to. When I'm around people I'm comfortable with, I can be really chatty and even legitimately interested in them. Sometimes, I don't want to not be interested, but I can't really help it. When I have my moments of being really quiet and introverted, people automatically assume that somethings wrong. I also have really bad depression, and I think people use that as the reason and don't understand that I just don't want to talk to anyone, especially for the sake of chit chatting. I guess there's no comfortable way to tell someone that without them thinking you're strange or getting offended. I'm just learning to deal with it. I'd rather people get used to me not being talkative sometimes than me having to fake it and being obvious that I am faking it.

I just assumed by the way you write about yourself and your weight "issues" and you doggie woogie (sp) avatar with a run in at that time with a member who was on the hunt for aspie women claimed they all looked like dogs* Nice to see your not

I had a (no offense) Rosanne Barr caricature going on, for extra effect oozy and puss (ie) wort on your nose. Not that i have a problem with Miss Barr she looks Ok now she 's lost some weight and seems to be less mentally ill these days.







*Actually it was an OP and it was a riot of laughter (blood sport's) having the aspie women tear him to shreads (he was no looker) may be when he grows up he'll come to the realisation we all quickly turn in to smelly (old people smell) wrinkled prunes so what does it matter ?

And with all this sun in this country sooner rather than latter