birthday/holiday avoidance?

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Hi. Its been awhile since I've posted here. I'm either Aspie or High functioning autistic non diagnosed but many people in my life think I'm either. Yesterday was my birthday. I'm 42 now but ever since I've been perhaps 7 I've been depressed around holidays and my birthday. I usually sometimes enjoy attention, I am a musician, but I've noticed that if I find out about "surprise plans" for my birthday I hope,try to get out of or even try to secretly sabotage the plans. I hate my daily routine messed with. I drive a school bus and that job is very much kept to a rigorous schedule. But if say my wife,mom, friends,etc. plan a surprise it really gets to me. Case in point, a few years ago, on my birthday my wife had arranged a surprise for me and a normal functioning person would have been delighted. She had talked to my boss to have my late afternoon route covered and another driver snuck on my bus unknown to me and took my paperwork. I went about my usual routine until I was en route to my school and base called and told me to come back. I heard another driver calling for whoever was subbing, I called in and my boss said to come in, another driver was doing the run. I'm now in a panic, I'm thinking I'm fired and I'm stressed out and my boss' tone wasn't friendly, she was trying to keep the surprise. I got back and was nauseated and freaking out when my wife pulls up and we leave, she got tickets to a concert that night by a band I no longer was a fan of, but she enjoyed. I had casually mentioned there were tix still available if she wanted to go. It wasn't a hint, as I thought I made it clear I wasn't interested in going. Now we're on our way to a restaurant that I've never been to. I don't usually go to new places to eat either. So here I am freaked, and going to a place I don't want to. She got mad as I told her I wasn't hungry, I usually ate before the run. We went to the show after and I tried to have a good time but I really just wanted to go home. Needless to say she wasn't tried a surprise since. Even before that for my bday she took me to a local "rock n roll salon" she thought I'd like. It was real difficult and awkwards sitting in the chair, I had long hair and hadn't had a haircut in 15 years I was proud of it. I felt pressured and got it cut anyways but the rest of the planned evening I was almost to tears and I felt traumatized about getting my haircut! Now when my bday approaches, I tend to "get sick" or try to have extra work so I'm left alone! I now even keep my paperwork on me so it won't be taken! I know she was trying to give me a good time but I prefer to be left alone with my routine!

yes it's difficult...you are not happy with the surprises, it gives you a lot of stress, but I suppose you do appreciate the thought...
I get that a lot too, sometimes I try to carefully tell I do not like unexpected stuff and too much change, sometimes they think they understand, the next moment they want to go have a drink at a new place I've never been before which makes me very uncomfortable!
also depends on the people you're dealing with I guess...
Some will be considerate, some will never get it, when you get older it's even worse, because you're not a child, you're supposed to be able to deal with these things...sigh...
For me it sometimes is possible to "forget" the worrying and sort of enjoy the occasion. Most stress comes from 'not knowing' and thinking of all kinds of scenarios, so when I'm actually there it is ok most of the time...aslo I tend to 'use' other people to do things for me, like ordering drinks and stuff and tell them they can pick a seat, or something, as long as I do not have to make instant decisions or talk to people without preparation, I'm relatively fine.
I also tend to isolate myself, but that's actually not fair, those people care about you and want to show it, besides it's only once a year, right?
off course there should be a balance, you shouldn't force yourself to do things you really don't want to like cutting your hair! and if you really don't want to go out or have a party, they should keep that in mind as well. (you should tell them though :p)
I Hope you'll be alright!

I'm doing alright. I get stressed over presents too. I'm kinda simple and easy to buy for in my opinion I like vintage movies,music or books. I'm not into "new technology". I have a blackberry that I've had for almost 2 years and its taken me that long to actually use it. Well last night my wife gave me an early xmas gift, an upgraded phone. It has a touch screen which I despise, her phone has a touch screen and I've made it clear how much I dislike it. She insists that after I "get used to it" that I will prefer it to my current phone, which for me just suits my needs just fine. I hate to seem ungrateful but it seems people don't take me seriously! I'm happy with what I have and don't feel its necessary to upgrade. But again I'm stressed out about it. Its getting harder to hide my disappointment anymore and I'm to the point of not caring about hurting anyones feelings as they're not listening or paying attention. Just venting I suppose.