Just a little confused and sad during the holidays

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I live on long term disability, so I don't have a lot of money. But the money I do have I like to spend on myself. It's not a lot - about 200 or less. And that's sacraficing some groceries, after the rent is paid ect.

So I don't have money for Christmas presents. Like nice ones. I can spend a little bit on people. Like 25 a gift? I know it's the thought that counts but it honestly sucks not being able to handle a job so I can't make a little extra to get my family something nice during the holidays.

But one of my family members just bought his gf a car. It's like he's so much better than me in their eyes. He can afford nicer things, do normal NT things like take his family out for dinner and what not. Buy his little brother the new video game. He and his gf even bought me my new glasses (about 100 dollars) and then all I can afford is a twenty dollar gift card to Tim Hortons (it's a coffee/doughnut store, he drives past one every day to work.)

PS. Don't try and figure out this family tree. Essentially I was adopted.

This sort of thing isn't really a new or unique problem. People often know someone that earns far more money than them, or has more talent than them or something like that.

The truth is that you would need to catch up to him or surpass him in order to gain that kind of respect from your family. I'm guessing that's just not possible for you in the short term unless you become some sort of fantastic artist or author or something.

If you want to look for a job, what's stopping you? What are your 'weaknesses'? There may be a job out there that will cater to your requirements.

I've actually had 29 jobs now. Last job I had I had to wake up at 1:30 in the morning to shovel snow until 2. We'd drive around all day shoveling show for these commercial properties. Not residential. And there was time pressure, heavy lifting, miscommunication, yelling, extremely cold, inadequate gear, training or safety procedures. I just got an interview for a concession position where I'm a cashier. I'm only going to do it for a few days at this world juniors hockey tournament. But that's about as much as I can handle. I also use to be a mascot, but I'd only do it for a few hours a couple days a week

It sounds silly, but my dream job is to work in an office, by myself - occasionally interacting with office personnel, and I want to do my job well. I'm a pretty social guy, but I'm also a huge a-hole. And I can't help it. I tend to alienate a lot of things. Like jobs, and friends.

But hey - getting back to the job topic. Should I just accept that I'm not as good as him and buy them cheap presents or?

Also my weakness is anxiety, I like to get things done, fast. But only if I really care about them. So I'm usually really early, or fast to make a wrong decision without double checking because of time pressure. I like shoveling snow, just not that gig. And lots of the other snow jobs require a car. I want to work at a video games or comics store because I also really like anime, or a book store because I like reading, but they're not hiring.

Widow, just a couple of thoughts:

First, I'm definitely a capitalist--don't get me wrong--but I abhor society's postmodern obsession with consumerism and judging people by what they have rather than by their character. Since I find ostentatious displays of wealth vulgar, I guess I'm old school. These are people I don't deal with unless I absolutely have to.

Second, as far as a job goes, what I've always tried to do is to put myself in a position where I can work independently, meaning alone. Whenever I have to work with others, things start to go badly. I can do some things very well, but I've found office politics to be brutal, and a game at which I invariably lost.

I've read that an inordinate number of aspies had engineer fathers. My father was an engineer, and I put myself through school surveying land. I recall one fellow I worked with who would outright admit he became a land surveyor because he couldn't take being nice to people.

I'm not a math type at all. But surveying today is all done with computer programs, although you have to understand how the math works and how to apply it. Best of all, once you learn the trade, you can work alone if you wish.

I must admit it's not something I'd want to do again, but I'd do it again if I didn't have any other way of making a living. It sure beats trying to live on disability.

It's just a thought for you.