To hell with it all.

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So if things do not improve in the next couple of months......or I do not see any ways of improving things, to hell with it all. I'll either have to throw all caution to the wind and hope for the best. Or I'll have to off myself if I get too worried that the throwing all caution to the wind idea will cause to much pain for my family and people who know me.

Kinda damned either way I guess.......if I off myself they'll be sad, if I throw whats left of my pathetic life away and get stuck on the highway to hell they'll be sad.


I guess what I am really trying to say is I am bored, things feel hopeless and I feel I cannot live like this anymore......and I need some change, hell I would rather be worse off than I am if only it would mean less family members(my mom) wanting to know where I am and what I am doing 24/7 when I'm hardly a child anymore. I can't even go out and enjoy myself because I am so worried of 'well what will mom say if I am honest with her' 'what will she say if she does not like it.' 'what kinda drama will I have to deal with when I get back home.' So yeah I don't know I am just fed up with things.

Last edited by Sweetleaf on 20 Dec 2011, 2:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sweetleaf, what do you think it would take to make you happy--or at least less miserable?

Do you really want to know?

Yes, I do.

If you have something to say, I'm willing to listen, and help if possible. It's up to you.

Not having anyone to stress me out and a massive amount of drugs , that probably won't happen though......but that would make me feel better.

I don't even know how to define quite what it is that's bothering me so much....I guess I am trying to figure things out myself so I am probably just as confused about my life if not more confused about it than most people looking at this thread.

uhh its clear to me no one here has a better understanding of my life than me, so when I post these threads it just confuses people so they have no clue what to say.