advice? or can anyone relate?

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d510g1c
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01 Jan 2012, 12:46 pm

basically i feel like being an attractive aspie is a total curse. cant tell you how many times i meet good looking women go on a date or two and things really go well, they text all the time and seem totally into me. but after weve hungout about 5 or 6 times they always seem to completely pull out of it. this happened to me again this last week and im a little down still.

anyway ive been wanting to tell women about the aspie thing but feel like it would be best to wait a month or so to tell them, but lately cant make it last that long. does anyone have any advice for me...ideas of what i could possibly be doing wrong or an easy way if telling them about aspie? or has anyone else had this same problem?

the thing that really puzzles me is after we hungout the last time next day she told her coworkers how she had a wonderful time with me and that it was the best sex she ever had...what am i doing wrong!?!?


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pastafarian
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01 Jan 2012, 1:24 pm

d510g1c wrote:
basically i feel like being an attractive aspie is a total curse. cant tell you how many times i meet good looking women go on a date or two and things really go well, they text all the time and seem totally into me. but after weve hungout about 5 or 6 times they always seem to completely pull out of it. this happened to me again this last week and im a little down still.

anyway ive been wanting to tell women about the aspie thing but feel like it would be best to wait a month or so to tell them, but lately cant make it last that long. does anyone have any advice for me...ideas of what i could possibly be doing wrong or an easy way if telling them about aspie? or has anyone else had this same problem?

the thing that really puzzles me is after we hungout the last time next day she told her coworkers how she had a wonderful time with me and that it was the best sex she ever had...what am i doing wrong!?!?


Personally I would tell them ASAP when you are getting on really well end of first date. I'm NT and I'm in love with an autistic man, the most beautiful and kind man I have ever know, the best relationship possible, the best sex possible. For me, this is only possible through mutual understanding.

I'd have missed all that if I didn't figure out stuff quickly. I certainly couldn't have figured it out for myself 20-25, and I'm afraid I would have interpreted certain autistic traits as self-centred, arrogant, rude, selfish, uncaring, and cold. Not attractive things so therefore my NT training, call it prejudice if you want, would have had me scarper, even if the sex was brilliant.

Its only when you see clearly and confidently that just cos something can sound a certain way (e.g wanting to be alone can sound like a personal rejection), to NT ears, it may actually be the opposite, or something else, in reality. They dont have a chance if you dont tell them.



d510g1c
Blue Jay
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Joined: 14 Mar 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Male
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01 Jan 2012, 1:50 pm

thankyou so much for your reply and im glad it came from an nt to get an nt perspective. i will definitely use your advice for the future. kinda hoping its not too late for this last girl because we have a lot in common and shes very sweet. im gonna see if i can get her to come over sometime talk about aspie and maybe watch a movie about it!


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