Loneliness

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Do you ever feel lonely? If so, how to do deal with it?

I have had three friends in my life, all of them in the last year of secondary school. I was happy during that year, They were quite rude to me at first obstensibly because I had transferred from a private school, but over the first month I managed to improve our relationship, and I spent time with them outsiide of school and even went on a holiday with them (I was happy with this because it was the first time I felt I was have a normal social experience and I enjoyed their company). But they each went to different colleges, two in another country and over time we no longer communicated, I have been alone ever since, others never give me the same tolerance they did and I dont know what to do to attain the same level of interaction that I had with my friends, and until I figure it out I want to stop feeling lonely, I would appreciate any advice that anyone can give on how to overcone loneliness.

It is difficult as I have tried and had one friend who I thought was a friend and a fellow aspie but he tries to keep making "connections" with lots of people and tries to go for quantity over quality and forgets about the friends he made before because he keeps trying to make friends that may be able to help him-or use to his advantage and that will get him into trouble as it already has-so you have to find that balance-a local aspergers social group if you have one in your area is a good place to start-I found one near me and it helps a little to make you feel less alone.

I have quite a few friends. The problem is, and this is where the loneliness bit comes in, is that they mostly have all moved on with their lives. Married, have kids, jobs, cars, etc. I'm still who I always was. So when I go days without talking to any of them I irrationally jump to the conclusion that I've either said or done something to alienate me, or they have simply made up their minds they don't want to be my friends anymore. I begin compulsively checking my e-mail, instant messengers, Skype, and telephone hoping they will get in touch with me. This usually continues until I do get back in touch with them, and then I'm weird around them because I'm searching for an ulterior motive for them being back in contact with me.

Even though the logical part of my brain tells me this is all phooey and they are simply busy.. the illogical part does it's best to turn me into a nervous wreck over it.

The really weird bit about this is when I'm around them I don't always talk to them..

I get lonely even when there are people around. I try to connect, and often fail. I have a few friends, but they are scattered all over the country, and at this point, the world. I just moved recently, and it sucks. I don't have anyone except my husband and kids here, but then I didn't have too many people I could trust where I used to live either. I'm still grieving the loss of someone who decided to cut me off almost a year and a half ago...when I make a connection and something like that happens, it is SO hard!

~Kate

I never really had good close friends except for the two girlfriends I had. My way of dealing with loneliness is by trying to find a 3rd girlfriend & posting about it a lot here on WP; this site is very helpful. I'm also looking to make friends here