Feeling blue and seeing red.

Post Reply New Topic

I hate it when I am talking to my family about something online, which is my only means of fair communication between people, and they want me to talk about it to their face. So when they are talking to me, they want me to say things, and I cannot because I am not good at talking with people offline about these issues for fear of repercussions. But they apparently don't want me to talk about things online, and they should know I am bad at talking in person...

I think it is weird that my family thinks I am just a delusional, paranoid, apathetic, "crazy", depressed, procrastinating, anti antisocial person, who is very awkward, reacts horribly with being poked and prodded, and has a strange obsession with science, recycling and raccoons. But they won't consider I have anything wrong with me. I don't know what they think or why they believe I have nothing wrong with me. I don't understand that...

I am sad that they won't even consider bringing me to a therapist, and I am angry that they are just ignoring my symptoms.

sigh...

how old are you?

I will be 20 years old on the 22nd...

why do you ask?

would it help if you planned what you wanted to say in the conversation beforehand. or perhaps if you got stuck what to say you could tell them something along the lines of 'i'll get back to you' and then go away and think about your response before continuing with the conversation

Why is there a purple R? That confuses me...

But I can't do that. I talk to myself and plan out everything, all the time and it always seems different, and my mind goes blank, and I cannot leave and say "i'll get back to you on my belief that I have aspergers", my parents don't work that way...

write a letter? it might seem more acceptable to them than electronic communication with somebody under the same roof

Awesome - feeling blue seeing red


iceveela, I can relate to what you wrote.

I recently had a fight over the phone with my parents and after we got off the phone I was soooo angry I was enraged....so then I wrote them an email basically telling them that they hurt my feelings and to "back off". I re-worded it like 10 times to make it less scathing, but I still needed to defend myself. Well, unfortunately, they didn't take my email very well and told me that they were very upset.

*sigh*

It would have been better to end my parents phone conversation before I let them get me so angry.


so if you can, I agree with what OneStepBeyond is suggesting - to try to plan your conversations. If you can do this, it becomes easier if you need to change the subject quickly.


No one wins when someone gets hurt.

being 20 years old, you can refer yourself to treatment, no matter what your family thinks.

if you can afford it.

Thats easier said than done. Not only do I know know how to do that, I have no means of transportation. I don't even know how to make a appointment. The whole "Do it yourself" precess scares me. And i don't know if I can handle that...

Well here is what I would do. Find a psychologist/therapist/whatever that can help you. There are a few ways to do it.. a GP can refer you (though in my experience they don't have the best idea where to send people, they just have like a short list of places and pick the one their boss told them to) or you can look it up yourself (google!). You may even consider going to whoever diagnosed you in the first place.

Once you locate them online you need to find out how to get there. No point in making an appointment if you have no means to get there. You can find maps online that will tell you where it is. From here you can either ask your parents to drive you or I guess you can get the bus (assuming you don't have a license). You can look up bus times on the their website. If it's anything like it is here they will also have a 'trip planner' thing. You input all the right details and it will tell you which bus/train to get and where to get off.

Once you're confident that you can make the trip, try and make an appointment. Call them up, ask about the pricing. If it's something you can afford, make a time. Be aware of when you'll be free and keep in mind how long it may take to travel. For me I would estimate it would be something like 1 hour there by bus, then a 1 hr session followed by 1 hr back. You might not get the time you want so you'll have to negotiate a bit to find something that works. I'm not sure if you'll need a referral from a doctor or anything like that... you can ask I guess..


If you've never done any of this before it's obviously going to be a bit daunting... But it should be doable. If you have no income of your own you're probably out of luck. I don't imagine they'll see you for free.