Empathy is a strange thing.

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I feel more empathy for Mick Avory than I do for my family members. I understand him better than I understand my mum, dad and my sister. I know what it's like to be cast away after many years in a circle of friends. Mick dealt with the same thing in the July of 1984. I also identify with his childhood. I need a moderator to be looking over this thread. I've been wanting to say this since the February of 2010, but I was too chicken.

yes, of course i will keep an eye on it. i am sure people will understand what you mean. there is nothing wrong with strongly relating to an idol, or even feeling closer to them than to a family member. you empathise with Mick and that can only be a good thing as you have made him your positive role model. (((((hugs)))))

I heard someone say recently "Identity is not a sin" and I thought of that when I read your post, even though the speaker applied the phrase differently. We are born in this world with our identity and it belongs only to us. The person you are, Cockney, and the person you are becoming is a beautiful soul and your connection to Mick is part of that beauty. You wouldn't be Cockney Rebel without it.

CR, you've made your own choices. They're not conventional choices, but they're yours. By all means, continue to own those choices.

People seem to regularly do much, much worse than you have with the choices in their lives, don't you worry!

(In case I'm being thick or obtuse, the choice in this case is who, or what, you put your trust in.)

I relate to a lot of people more than I relate to my family. There's no shame in it whatsoever. Members of your family probably want you to be more like them, but to be a healthy person you must ignore those pressures and simply be yourself.

I would like to thank all of you for understanding where I'm coming from.

I like you just the way you are and I think that whatever you feel is the right thing for you to feel!

Too many times, other people want us (and not just on the spectrum they do this to everyone) to feel exactly the way they feel about something. They get offended and upset when we don't. I think that's because many people look to others to validate their feelings by sharing them, and they get defensive when others dont share them. People do the same thing with opinions and beliefs as well. Not all people, but many do I've noticed.

Maybe they have some doubts about their own feelings on whichever topic is in question, and someone not agreeing with them makes them have to question themselves.

However, the fact that they get hostile and upset when we don't share their feelings makes it their problem, not ours. If someone gets upset with you for feeling like you do, remember that it's their own insecurity about themself that's driving it, not something you said, felt, or did. It's something they have to work through to get where they need to get.

It sounds to me like you work through your issues and you are exactly where you need to be. I'm glad you felt confident enough to say what you did, even though you were nervous about it. Your feelings belong to you and it's your right to have them, whatever they may be, and however they may sit with others. It also sounds to me like you are aware of that, and I'm very glad for you that you are.

((hugs))

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
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