Warning: Various issues condensed into one single post

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I don't understand why I have such a knack for offending people. Let me share with you the two most recent incidents. I wonder how so many people manage to breeze through their lives without offending anybody else. >_<

Incident 1: Recently, my aunt invited my family over for a family gathering. I spotted a photo of my cousins (as toddlers) on top of the TV, so I asked my mum over to figure out which cousin was which. I swore that neither my mum nor I touched the photo. I merely pointed at each cousin and asked, "Is he/she so-and-so?" My Aspie cousin suddenly showed up and yelled at us both, "Stop commenting on my things!" He then snatched the photo away and kept it. Later on, I had to bend down to take a better look at another photo, so I was touching the shelf so as to steady myself. My Aspie cousin suddenly showed up again and yelled, "I told you already; don't touch my things!"

Incident 2: I was on the bus when I felt someone kicking my seat rhythmically, as in "DUM dum dum dum, DUM dum dum dum". Being curious, I turned my head around to take a look. It turned out that a girl in school uniform had been kicking my seat. She seemed to be 7 or 8 years old. I thought that her pout was cute, so I told her, "You are such a cute girl". She hugged her mother and started crying (more like weeping). Her mum yelled at me, "WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?!" I told her calmly that I merely told her daughter that "You are such a cute girl". The mother stared at me fiercely. By then, almost all the other passengers were staring at us. I turned my head back and pretended that nothing had ever happened.

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I do appreciate small talk. In fact, I feel flattered when strangers strike up conversations with me. But my pet peeve is when strangers ask me, "So, which school are you from?" When I tried to evade such a question (because I don't understand why strangers are so obsessed about schools), most strangers try to turn the conversation into a "Guess the school" game. They would say stuff like, "Since you don't want to tell, never mind. Let me guess. More fun! Give me a clue! Is your school single-sex or co-ed? Is it located in the East or the West?" I once told a stranger bluntly that I would like to discuss anything except my school. She was like, "Aw, how disappointing". She then ended the conversation.

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NTs have been telling me that if I keep on bottling my feelings, then I'm heading towards a meltdown. They tell me that if I face any problem, I can always confide in them. But... When I start confiding in NTs, they accuse me of "complaining too much" and "being whiny". I'm damned if I talk about my problems but damned if I don't. What do NTs expect from me?!
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My blood boils whenever I hear one of the following statements...

"You need to seek psychiatric help."
(My thoughts-Is this an insult? You are implying that I'm insane, aren't you?)

"Just ignore what they say. Just do anything you like."
(I once texted an NT, "Since you tell me that I can do anything I like, does this mean that I can do something illegal now? I would like to do illegal things." The NT replied, "You are crazy. Now stop scaring me.")

"Let go of the past. Make yourself happy."
(I once asked an NT, "Is this what people say when they have nothing else to say?" She was like, "Of course not! This is the principle that most people live by.")

Hm, I don't know if you've ever worked a job in customer service but working in retail I can tell you, everyone offends someone at one point or another.

The most charming, suave people you can think of--will offend others.

Working a retail job, i.e. i've worked with female co-workers who dealt with male customers who glared at me like I spit in the coffee this morning but were INCREDIBLY nice to my female co-workers. (In many instances, flirty.)

I've dealt with customers who hated this guy at my job, really popular guy with a lot going for them. Literally told me word for word they hated him--and liked me and wished I worked on commission.

I've irritated relatives, friends, strangers.. my own mother, sometimes its not you--its them.

People perceive themselves as doing something wrong because they perceive the people they deal with in those situations as rational--thats not always the case. Sometimes at those moments--the only rational one you can depend on is yourself. Its nearly impossible in life to not offend anyones sensibilities--people are too different. The best thing to do for ourselves is to not care.