The Tone of My Voice/Constant Yelling Is Driving Me Insane

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I do not recall when this started, but often when I get nervous, anxious, angry, startled, I instantly react by yelling at inanimate object and/or people in my immediate family. It is as if I lose complete control to my emotions and everyone in my family including myself suffers. I appear as the ungrateful SOB and it has affected my status amongst my family members.

Due to circumstances relating to recent major surgery, (in which I had suffered major pain , gruesome images, and setbacks) it has fueled this reaction into a full blown inferno. I am receiving the same thing in return as I have burned my family's patience. They did not ask for this and I am fed up with this irrational behavior that does nothing beneficial for me in return.

Though I am heavily drugged and have irregular sleeping patterns, I find my behavior a cancer to my personality and I need to find a solution. Although I used to see many therapists many years ago and was prescribed various medications, I gained very little in my experiences as medications may me have negative side effects along with personality conflicts with many of the therapists. No, I do not drink as it makes my have headaches, dehydration, and some painful urination. The only pill I take prior to my surgery was Allegra for allergies that is mandatory for me since I live with three cats and deal with dust on a constant basis.

Not sure if this was the right place to post this, but I had to type it somewhere and this appeared to be the right place.

I just started a 10-15 week program through my hospital. It involves weekly one-to-one talk therapy, group therapy, and checkins with a psychiatrist to manage meds. (I also have health problems so am on a very low dose anti-depressant) From the readings that they gave me, it looks like a big part of the program will be "cognitive behavioral therapy."

The gist of it I think is replacing behaviors that may have once served a purpose (but no longer do) with behaviors that work better/ feel better now. I'm not a meditator, but there's some of that in there too.

I'm somewhat hopeful because this is a much more aggresive approach to therapy than what I've done before.
(which was pretty twee in comparison)

Just a thought.

Hmm, in my current condition in which my body leaks of serous fluid, therapy is not an option... unless the staff want to clean up the droplets that will leak from my body I think if I need any therapy, it has to be done after this hurdle of me is cleared.

The good news is today I reacted much better without erupting into a tantrum or yelling at my family. She apologized to me for her behavior stating she was not being helpful and rude to me. I accepted it but made sure I would improve my behavior.

Early tomorrow morning, I will have to go to a local hospital (first time since my surgery was done in another facility) to hopefully receive a medical device. It should greatly improve my healing since my body's natural reaction is making the healing much more difficult. However, insurance has to be able to cover it or a hefty amount must be paid to receive it, though I was told my family will pay for it regardless due to my struggles.

Hopefully, progress will be made tomorrow. I need to heal asap so I can exercise again and relieve much of my stress.