Practical Advice Thread

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So I'm often reluctant to get involved in Haven threads because my first impulse is to look for ways to "fix" the "problem", and that's often not what someone posting to the Haven is looking for. However, being a strong empath that derives deep satisfaction by helping others when I can, I decided to try and create a thread where people who are seeking practical solutions and advice on life problems can post, signaling that they are in fact looking for that type of response and not the more generic support that the Haven excels at providing. Hopefully I will not be the only poster participating here as I've seen a number of other members running into problems by posting what they thought was practical constructive criticism here only to see it perceived as an attack, and I think they'd welcome a thread where their style of advice was being actively sought.
This is an experiment to a certain degree, entirely my idea and responsibility, etc, but anyone should feel free to post a problem or a solution here, though I will request mod intervention if actual flaming breaks out, so no personal attacks please.

So, let's get started; who's got a problem they'd like concrete, practical help solving?

I think this is an excellent idea. Not only for matters of the psyche but the nuts and bolts problems of daily life like how not to get ripped off at the car mechanics or how insurance works.

Something I might add. There's a book out there, essentially aimed to be a nonpartisan/nonreligious book, called "Happiness Is A Serious Problem" (the lack or misunderstanding of) by Dennis Prager.

The overall notion is that unhappiness and misery mostly comes from distortions, misbeliefs about what everyone else has or what the world should/shoudn't be, and that essentially the happiest people (or at least those who are the happiest they can be for their circumstances) are those who aim to be the most realistic with themselves. In a sense the better the position you are to take the good in life as somewhat miraculous rather than an island of the expected in a sea of the terrible/absurd unexpected - the better and more stable your mood will generally be.

Ah, this sounds very promising. Shall we ban all motivational speeches and annoying cliches?

Ah, this sounds very promising. Shall we ban all motivational speeches and annoying cliches?

My refrigerator is leaking a small amount of water out of the freezer side. (It's a side by side, with ice and water in the door but that isn't hooked up right now - the copper line broke a year ago so we just make ice now)

That's really the first one off the top of my head. I've got some emotional stuff going on but I know what to do about that, I just hate having to actually deal with it. I wasn't being smart alec abut the fridge thing either. You sounded like you wanted to help someone and that's honestly a real problem that I'm having. My husband doesn't know why it's doing it.

Also, my dishwasher hasn't worked in about 3 years.

We have tools. If there is something I need to do, please tell me in a very detailed as possible way, and I'll give it a shot.

i was told today that i have to couch my well-meaning factual advice for hurting people, in the leo buscaglia-esque language of succor. i try to comfort people with reassuring and helpful facts but that is not enough.

I ditto this.

maybe there should be an entire "practical life help" subforum separate from the others, for strictly practical life fixes? like if the toilet busts and you can't afford a plumber, or you need to do a improvised amateur repair of something but need practical advice as to how to best go about it? just a thought.

I have a friend who recently got a divorce after about 30 years of marriage. Her husband had handled most of the "guy things" and made most of the decisions etc. She has a lot of trouble doing things or deciding things for herself now. She has said she wishes there was a book for something like this, like how to buy insurance, or how to change a tire, etc.

Seconded!

Then we will know immediately when someone wants their problems solved, and when they just want to whine about their troubles.

on the web [with everything else and its younger brother ] there are the "ehow" video essays covering everything from alimony to zeta particles [well, almost ]. your friend can find what helpful info she needs with just a few judicious keystrokes on google, as well as a critically discerning eye. it would help if she also had a good BS filter as well.