Suicide is painless

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Well, not for those who are left here.

I purposefully left the thread title ambigious so that maybe those who are suicidal will read it.

Now, I won't try and talk you out of it. Hell, I've thought of it before. I've tried it, but apparantly I suck at it. Now, if you want to off yourself, go ahead and go get your pills ready, or load your gun or sharpen your knife but just read this first. Cause it's not about you. Or your feelings.

I'll say it bluntly. You are going to leave an assload of people really upset and pissed off. "Oh, they'll get over it, I'm not that important, they didn't care anyway". Is that what you REALLY THINK???

I'm gonna clue you in here, on a little secret.

Yeah, you're that important. Is that REALLY HOW you want to be remembered?

When you do successfully carry out this mission (if you choose to accept it) you will have a huge impact on everybody who even vaguely knew you.

They will have horrible guilt and anger and sadness.

But you wont be there to enjoy it.

Heres a story for ya. You knew I was going for a story didn't you? You were right! 21 years ago (yeah that long ago) I had ran back into a friend from high school. We got to be friends. I was married. He knew that. He fell in love and wanted me to leave my husband. No amount of talking to him helped. I loved him. He was a good friend.

What happened was, was this.

I finally stopped talking to him. He apprantly (I know this from his own notes left by him in the freaking mail to me delivered the Monday after his death!! !!) thought he was going to go out like Socrates his hero, or some romantic Shakesperean dude. Well, he didnt. Know how he died?

He snorted a whole buttload of Ketamine then he drank a pint of whiskey then the cut his wrists. That didn't kill him. Know what did? Choking on his own vomit. His mother found him in his room puking and chocking. She called 911. Oh he was conscious. I talked to the doctors. I talked to his preacher who came up there even. He was talking and conscious but they couldn't oxygenate him. He had soaked his own lungs with vomit to the point that he couldn't breathe.

He was there right up until the end. He said "Mama stay with me" Then he breathed real hard a lot and then he died. There was nothing they could do. His mother had to stand there and watch that.

Real romantic suicide huh?

I went to his funeral. I knew he did it over me. I saw him in his casket, all nice and clean in his suit. Everybody knew why he did it. It was horrible for me to be there!

I had a lot of therapy after.

Heres the thing though. That you folks might want to know.

It's been 21 years this May. May 26th actually. Know what I remember? Not some romantic notion. Not something I should have done. I remember the pain he threw at me from the freaking grave. The hurt. The depression! I don't remember HIM ever, when his name comes up, I remember the pain I felt at his death!

In other words, it did not turn out the way he wanted.

I do visit his grave, once a year, on his death. I tell him "kiss my a** you have no power over me now!"

It did not in any way turn out like he wanted.

It never does.

So, do you just want to end your pain, or do you just want to screw everybody else up?

It's up to you.

The song says suicide is painless, and it might be. For you.

But its damn sure not for us!

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

actually, suicide is not painless. I worked in an ICU. It's ugly, painful and a person can actually take a long time to die. Meanwhile, the family and friends are in agony also. It messes people up big time.

^5. I fell you on that. Thats the exact thing I want people to know about it.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

I used to cut, not for suicide attempts, but to feel alive because I felt empty and numb.

One time I got depressed enough for a suicide attempt.

36 Risperdal and 47 Abilify later...

ICU for 1 night, then hospital for following 2 weeks. Surviving that made me believe that if I didn't die there, that my life was meant for something. I don't believe in god, but it made me feel my life had some unknown purpose in it. Today I am happily married to a beautiful woman that supports me and the troubles I have with my AS.

While suicide, in the lowest of times, may seem like an out, it isn't the way to go.

It also ain't pretty. One of my more mild special interests is forensics, and a lot of times when police (or other people such as relatives) come across a dead body, the body is blueish and blow flies are already crawling on it and laying eggs. The body when it dies also has a tendancy to 'let go' of it's wastes. Thusly instead of a nice 'clean' death, your corpse smells literally like sh**.

With a gun, your brains are all over the place. Many times when the brain is destroyed there is some seizure activity, and you flop around and gasp and ooze brain matter where ever you flop. And of course you're crapping your pants too while you're at it.

By the time relatives find you (or friends) flies are beginning to lay eggs in your eyes. Flies love eyes, and depending on the temperature, you will have tiny maggots on them in about a day or two. They will also be laying eggs around your gaping mouth and nose, with a healthy maggot mass growing in your throat after a few days. Or if there is no flies, you begin to bloat. (You begin to bloat anyway even with flies, but I digress.) After your insides get liquidy, the gasses in your body make them ooze out, and if conditions are right, sometimes your body explodes from the internal pressure, spraying your semi-liquid organs and bones everywhere.

And to add a final insult, the police who pick you up often times tend to have a bit of graveyard humor at your expense. It's not because they are being mean, but because it's how they process death to remain sane. Sometimes you get jokes on (if you are a guy) on how tiny your privates are. Or if you are a woman, you might be commented on about your body. And how badly you stink because you have begun to rot.

Trust me, I have had suicidal desires before. But I rather would take a medication then do myself in. I've felt the bleakness, and wanting to feel at peace with never having to feel that pain anymore. But it isn't reality. It's a chemical thing, in a person suseptible to feeling that low. And once it passes, it is like I am reborn.

I don't really believe that a suicidal person can be reasoned with. You can tell them "your family will miss you!" a hundred times, but they won't really understand it. Suicidal people usually genuinely believe that people will be better off without them. They think that they are being hyper-rational, but they are actually being deceived. Everyone, no matter how introverted and lonely, has a huge web of relationships that they don't even understand the size of. People that you haven't thought of for years will come to your funeral.

If there were more users like OliveOilMom, wouldn't this be a nice place?

Suicide is a choice.

On the one hand, there is the murderer. He chooses his victim, he chooses the method, and he chooses to take advantage of the opportunity to kill. Society then heaps its scorn and judgment upon the murderer, and blames no one else for the death of the victim.

On the other hand, there is the person who commits suicide. He chooses his victim (himself), he chooses the method, and he chooses to take advantage of the opportunity to kill. Society then heaps scorn upon the people he leaves behind, blaming them for everything from indifference to abuse of the person who committed suicide.

On the gripping hand, in both cases (murder and suicide), it is the person himself who makes the final decision to commit the final act. The only difference being that murder is against someone else, while suicide is against the self.

So why the double standard? Why is the person who commits murder blamed for his actions, yet the person who commits suicide is absolved of all blame? Aren't they both killers? Aren't their final choices the direct and immediate causes of someone's death? Aren't murder and suicide both forms of anti-social violence?

In my opinion, those who commit suicide are unworthy of pity or sympathy, and are no more "victims of society" than are those cold-blooded murderers on death row. A murderer is a murderer, no two ways about it.

Suicide is different than murder. And I personally like the OP's style- I don't find it smug.

I have been suicidal before. The reason why was depression. You see, with my condition, I preformed really well in school as a child. I was labeled as driven. A genius of sorts. Always blew English out of the water. I had trouble keeping friends, but who needs friends when you're going to be the next Einstein? My parents were so proud of me. I could cope with all my other issues such as being bullied, being ambisinister, having to work out every social situation manually, etc.

Then came middle school and high school. Suddenly, you have to analyze what you read. How is someone with an ( undiagnosed at the time) right brain insult supposed to analyze works of literature when it takes herculian effort to analyze average social situations? My English grades went from perfect to a B. A great memory doesn't help with schoolwork at the higher level. My parents became frustrated with me. They thought I wasn't trying. I was. I now had nothing going for me.

I lost it. Went mad with depression. I cut (oh I was oddly methodical about it too, I would cut deep enough to let out the pain inside, but light enough as to not scar, thus removing the evidence. As a result I only have two scars). I planned my suicide. Multiple times. Pragmatics, rather than emotional appeal, stopped me more times than not.

I'm doing better now. Apparently for people with my condition, depression is all but inevitable. But our lives of compromising and suffering make us brilliant problem solvers. Armed with that knowledge, I do not think I will kill myself.

Here's the thing- suicidal people need to hear that their pain is going to end. It helps to tell them (this helped me) that if it's relief they're after, suicide won't bring it to them. Relief is a feeling. You don't feel when you're dead. You cut to remove the numbness, so why would you want eternal numbness?

For some reason the topic reminded me of this: Lasagne Cat

Oh. Kaaaaayyyy ... that was weird.