Realization: How I mis-communicate with NTs...

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Disclaimer: I notice that when some Aspies rant against NTs, some other Aspies will jump to the defense of those NTs implicated. I also notice that NTs (except those who participate in WP) don't really enjoy a spot-free squeaky-clean reputation on WP. Hello, NTs, you are the ones who have taught be that reputations aren't ruined without rhyme or reason. If you think that the NT-bashing on WP has been getting out of hand, kindly stare into a mirror, search your soul and reflect upon what you have done against Aspies to provoke them into ranting against you online.

I have always assumed that I socialize better online than offline, but recently, several NTs have been using the Christmas/New Year season as an excuse to ignore me online. I have gathered enough evidence to conclude that they have been ignoring me not because they are busy but because they want to drag me into some sort of Cold War. I have already tried my best to sound sweet and diplomatic online, so maybe only they themselves know what I have said to offend them so deeply.

Alright, let me switch the topic from online interactions to offline interactions...

Scenario: An NT says something that offends me during a face-to-face interaction.
My reaction: I show displeasure through my facial expressions immediately.
My rationale: I suppose that I'm doing the NT a favor by warning her that her latest remark has offended me through my facial expressions.
BUT... I notice that some NTs have posted online that they find interactions with Aspies highly stressful because they happen to interact with Aspies who are "moody and easily offended".

Scenario: I say something that offends an NT during a face-to-face interaction.
NT's reaction: She shows nothing on her face at all. She carries on the interaction as if nothing has ever happened. However, once the interaction is over, she will quietly break off all ties with me by cold-shouldering me.
NT's rationale: Some NTs told me that cold-shouldering a person is much more polite and socially acceptable than showing the same person openly through facial expressions that you are upset with him/her.
BUT... I'm hurt when NTs cold-shoulder me. Firstly, I don't understand what I have done wrong, hence I might repeat the same mistake in the future. Secondly, they usually continue to cold-shoulder me even after I have shown them remorse.

I have had this happen so many times! My dad is always scolding because I don't fake being thrilled to see people I'm not thrilled to see, or because I don't show enthusiasm when someone is asking me questions about something I don't care about. People then tell me I'm "moody" or "surly". I feel like I'm doing people a favor, because most of them time in those situations, they're only talking to me to be polite too, so why not save us both some trouble? I guess the thing is, for Aspies, faking polite is work and unpleasant, so we want to save people from having to do it. But for NTs, it's effortless and natural, so we're not really saving them anything and they see it as more work to avoid it.

On the flip side, I have had so many times where NTs were friendly to me, then later I was informed that they didn't actually like me. This is going on beyond basic politeness--this is NTs going out of their way to be nice to me when they don't actually like me. Other times NTs will act interested in what I'm saying or pleased, then tell others that they found it strange or boring. If they'd only told me, or shown me through their facial expressions, I would have stopped and been grateful for the information that this isn't a good way to proceed with the conversation. I feel that it's cruel to pretend to like someone when you don't. Of course it's important to be polite and respectful to people you don't like, but it seems to be expected to treat everyone like a friend even if they're not. It makes it very hard for me to tell whether people really like me or not, because NTs so often lie about that sort of thing.

I don't have a problem with social etiquette, as long as its my version.

I recently realized that with my wife, I have been subconsciously expecting her to understand and appreciate what I'm doing; and of course she hasn't, because she can't read my mind. Is it mind blindness? I'm trying to see things her way now, but it's like trying to see what time it is with my glasses off.

around the nt people, i have to act and fake my emotions so i dont appear boring. i hate it and it drains me. i usually can tell whether a person is being phony with me. i stay away from them.