In your opinion...

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...how much of my depression and mood swings are directly caused by my sexual frustration? (I hesitate to use the word "sexual" because it isn't necessarily about sex, it's about physical affection that doesn't have to necessarily end with full on sex at least right away.)

I suffer from aspergers/chemical depression/aspergers/mild OCD anyway...but I'm wondering how much of the much wanted physical affection (I'm defining that by kissing/touching/cuddling etc. with someone that is interested in you and isn't doing it with an underlying motive or because you're paying her) is coming into play here in the present?

What I mean is, can not getting physical affection affect you mentally if you crave it that much?

I'm just wondering if these random "life isn't worth living" feelings are at all caused over a feeling of hopelessness of meeting women anytime soon.

There is a part of me like I've said in many posts that feels lost in this world, like an actor without a script, and different even by aspie standards and thinks the world is a craphole and doesn't want to put a kid on the earth and have him/her endure the same thing...but I'm wondering if I just plainly need to get laid or at the very least get some physical affection?

(Keep in mind I want a girlfriend, but now isn't the time. Not fair for any woman to get involved in this mess as far as long term. Contrary to what people want you to believe, at least in my case, dating someone even someone you like doesn't erase your mental problems. In my case, it doesn't even make me even necessarily happier. Just makes me stressed since I don't have my crap together.)

Casual dating/physical affection/sex, you don't need to have it all together for that.

But the question is, from the people who have frequented my posts, do you think it would help a lot and maybe I'd feel relieved?

your depressed thoughts are more likely caused by your apathetic behaviour, if you take action you are likely to feel better. Studies show people feel better if they are taking some form of action to better themselves or their situation than if they feel they have no control over it and do nothing (picture someone in a prison digging a tunnel as opposed to how someone feels who just waits to be executed.

So I think if you start doing some more things in your life you will feel better, make some changes, set some goals.

I have goals (getting into "beach shape"), reading more books again, going on another vacation, getting something going musically etc., none of that matters when I get THAT depressed. I lose interest in everything, sometimes even women (whether physical intimacy or a girlfriend or both.) I'm just wondering how much sexual frustration can play a role in one's overall mood.

100% of it. You just need to explode all over someone, apologise and move on. They'll understand, OP. Just don't to it to a guy, that'd be gay.

If I understand what you are asking, if your depression is linked to sexual frustration?

I think it's just a connection. I love to just sit and touch someone and feel their body heat or heart beat, it is a calming affect. I think it kind of let's me know that I am not alone in the world. Not having this connection affects me because if give me an alone feeling. I think everyone is looking for a purpose in life and without it we are all lost aspie or not, but the NT's are a little better at faking it then we are. Sometimes in life it helps to have someone who knows what you are going through mentally as well as physically, so it might help you. Sometimes even a hug or the touch of someones hand can go a long way.

There is definitely a connection with me.

It always gets me down when I realise I'm that ONE dude among my friends that is single.

I wrote you a very long and supportive post OP, but then I realized that I misspelled a particular key word in it, over and over. So I deleted it.

Short version. I feel you on this, totally. No pun intended.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

Well, I don't know you that well, so I can't say. I do know that my one friend with Asperger's has most of his problems stem from his sexual frustrations. His two biggest interests are weightlifting and "women" (and by women I mean sex) and he just doesn't understand that women have feelings too. If you met his grandmother you would understand why, but that's beside the point. The point is, it's certainly possible that most of your problems come from your sexual frustrations. It all depends on what your goals are. Is intimacy the only thing you want? Would everything in life be just fine as long as you had someone to hold?

As a wise and prolific humorist once said: "Sex should be a misdemeanor, because de more I miss, de meaner I get!"

I think that could be a factor......though I imagine wanting a sexual intimacy with someone but not being able to get it can feel worse for someone with depression than someone without it. So in a sense that could certainly add to depressed feelings, but I doubt sexual frustration alone would be the cause of depression.

Also though in my experiance having such a relationship does not magically make the depression go away if you do in fact have depression, if you're just feeling depressed due to sexual frustration then I think that's just a natural feeling and the best thing to do is maybe try and satisfy that frustration.

I actually think if I got that sex/intimacy with a woman of my liking, my interest in dating/pursuing women would significantly decrease. It seems that I like the challenge of finding and attracting someone I want to sleep with. (I'm very picky even for sex.)

I can wait for love. Love is painful, especially when it isn't reciprocated. Losing someone you had strong feelings for and you know she'll never feel the same way feels like your heart was ripped out of you. Like I said in another post, all those cheesy break up songs start making literal sense.

I'm only 28 and have the rest of my life to find someone to fall in love with who reciprocates especially since I don't want to have kids.

The physical intimacy/sex I can't wait years for. (Note: I realize women don't just have sex and have feelings and am more than willing to date them and wait it out within reason.)

having sex one single isolated time will not cure your depression. but forming a bond with a person you care about, in a relationship that includes sex, might help. in my opinion, your priorities are backwards. sex is important but you speak again and again of the connections you want to make with a person. those connections are not made in empty, meaningless sex with strangers.

I'm not saying it would cure my depression. I'll always have depression even if I were living in a place of my choice and in love. It's chemical.

But knowing myself and how my mind operates, I think if "my fantasy" came true of being in bed with a woman I was sexually attracted to, that it would completely demystify things and be a dream come true. Would I still want a girlfriend/love/sex in the future? Most likely. But I think a lot of the sexual interest as far as women are concerned is the challenge of it and a realistic yet unlived goal. If I want sex after, it will be based on a reality of sex and likely with a girlfriend and that connection, and I can wait for that. Would I welcome it in the present? Of course. But it's rare to begin with. Even finding attraction of any kind with even a casual connection.

You should google "Harlow's Monkeys". It is a famous experiment demonstrating the need for physical comfort in primates.