Am having a major low spot and feel like I can't handle it. I was seriously sexually abused by a teacher in high school. He drugged and raped me multiple times over a six month period after grooming me to get me to trust him for a year before he started with the rapes. I couldn't face this attrocity for 34 years. Needless to say, it has been a living hell to do so. The facts of what he did to me are bad enough, but I have gone to threrapists, family, people I thought were my friends, the police, and other people who were teachers at this school who I was close to at the time. Some have been supportive and kind sounding toward me and the devestaion this caused and my need to heal. But here's the part that I can't handle:
This man is still a teacher in the town where it happens and works as a counciler to special needs kids! No one I talk to - except one friend here on WP and one rape counciler I talk to, expresses any concern about this. They just blow it off like, well, maybe I was just some kind of special case and he didn't go on or isn't still going on doing this. Even though his actions with me were very methodical, clearly planned and carefully carried out and involved some kind of drug like ketamine.
I feel like I am going to loose my mind, even worse than I already have about this. I can not imagine someone I once knew - especially someone as I was at the time as the other teachers recall me - bright, sensitive, shy - telling me something like this and that the rapist is still a teacher and me not trying to help that person expose the guy. Like offer to back me up with a statement of my credibility. Nobody seems to be upset -exceptions noted above.
I want to write to the Superintendent of Schools where he works. My conscience is demanding that I do so. To try one more time. I don't know how to rest or get over this without taking more action to try and help others he has undoubably vitimized. But I seem to be on my own. I feel so disgusted with the people I have gone to, like my faith in people is totally shot. I really don't know what to do. I don't know how to have a life with this knowledge or how to finish healing with this situation as it is.
