Good news!! !! !!

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Well, for a change I am posting good news in the Haven.

I've mentioned the huge amount of stress I'm under right now a whole lot recently. Well, a large chunk of it, the most urgent part is solved! It's financial. My husband has a future inheritance he can borrow from and pay back. We have done it before. We can't just do it, it has to go through either his mother or his sister who is the executor of the estate and now has power of attorney. His mom and dad always let us borrow from it as needed and we paid it back as soon as we could. The only one that late payment would hurt is us, because the time it isn't in there is time it can't earn interest. His mother has gone downhill mentally and physically and now his sister controls things. She's a b**** on wheels. She would make Satan grow angel wings and fly out of hell chasing a halo.

She hasn't let us borrow anything. There is no reason not to. She's just like that. We were facing some severe problems starting monday and continuing through this month. I mean severe. She had been refusing to let us borrow it and pay it back on the 15th when we get our taxes. My husband even offered to pay back more, or give her money. She still refused. He was discussing it with his brother about 6 feet from my MIL. My MIL can't hear a bomb go off next to her usually. Sometimes she hears a little, but not often, and it's not often that she comprehends what she does hear correctly. She heard this. She understood it. She made them call the sister on the phone and relay messages. She told her to let us borrow that and pay it back on the 15th and not to charge anything either.

Yay!

I feel like a ton of bricks has been lifted off me. I really do. My anxiety level went down so fast.

Thank you Jesus!

I bet I'm a lot nicer online now.

We haven't noticed a thing. You've been incredibly wonderful to me

Congratulations!
Glad your MIL was listening and understanding what she heard.

Thank you! I've been somewhat better at not showing my worrying today, but for about the last two weeks I was very touchy about anything and everything and I would get mad over things that didn't matter. I was so frustrated and felt so much pressure and so much stress and so much worry that I felt like I was about to explode. I've been about a half inch away from a meltdown for over a week. I couldn't take it out on my family. My kids had nothing to do with the problem and although they knew about it, I didn't want them worrying about it, which they would if I walked around snapping at everybody like I wanted to. If I had told my husband that is complete calm demeanor and detached attitude towards the situation was making me want to throttle him then he would get even more stressed than he already was. He wasn't calm about it inside, nor was he detached. He just didn't show it and wouldn't talk about it. That's how he is. He wasn't being mean, it's always how he is.

When I'm really frustrated, sometimes I have trouble putting the concept, opinion, point of view, etc that I want to get across into words. I get upset over that because normally I can say exactly what I mean or am feeling in a way that the other person understands what I am saying. The right words won't come then. It's like I forget them. I know the combination of words exist, but I just don't remember what their names are. Does that make any sense? It's like I just can't put my finger on it. I can get close to it. I can circle around it. I can cut it off in traffic and steal it's french fries while it's looking in the other direction, but I still just can't put my finger on it. I end up getting the wrong point across and offending people right and left because I'm only saying something close to what I mean. Thats how it's been for me trying to post sometimes recently. You would be able to tell when that was going on if you saw it. (no, it's not going on now lol) So, I get more frustrated and then somebody says something that ticks me off and in that situation, the words come running toward me across a sunny meadow and leap into my arms. I have absolutely no trouble insulting the crap out of something at that point in time. Those words aren't the ones that are so elusive. The just love me. But the ones explaining a simple concept aren't talking to me and even unfriended me on Facebook.

So, it's a circle. Frustration with a situation leads to frustration with my husband leads to frustration with myself for not being able to do something about the situation leads to more frustration with myself for not being able to get something across like I normally can leads to getting ticked off leads to telling somebody off for no apparant reason leads to more frustration with myself for doing that leads to trying as hard as I can not to melt down. (That was all one sentence to show how chaotic it's felt for me.)

But, today it all got solved. I couldn't sleep last night because of the worry over the situation and I've been up since 5am Thursday morning. It is now 1:15 on Saturday morning. I had a lot of caffiene on Thursday during the day but stopped before dark. No other stimulants besides worry. It'll sure do the job though. I distracted myself by doing housework above and beyond the call of duty. I organized everything. I'd get up and do a little something then sit back down and try to relax. Then I'd need to move around and focus on something else for a while so I'd go do a little something else. That went on all last night and all day today. During all that, I made myself act pleasant and unconcerned around the kids. I didn't have a care in the world. Good ole happy go lucky Mom. Boy if they gave people Acadamy Awards for real life, I would have won one for today.

About 630 my husband got home and told me that it was fixed. We go get the money Monday and can pay everything. It was an actual physical relief. I literally felt my body relax, and I hadn't known I had been tensed up. After about an hour or so, the soreness set in. All my muscles hurt like I've been running a marathon, and I haven't done any more physical activity than usual. My body has been running on pure adrenaline for close to 48 hours now and it's tired and wants to sleep. My brain hasn't gotten the message yet. It wants me to stay awake. I'm like this after very stressful situations whether it's good stress or bad stress. I'm always like this after I have a baby. In the great mood that I'm in right now. Energetic mind, tired body. I could take something and go to sleep but that makes me feel worse the next day after something like this. So, I just ride it out and eventually my brain decides to read the memo thats been on it's desk all night.

I also start talking all over the place, and a lot, like I am right now. I'll be back to normal tomorrow.

So anyway, thank you for the compliment. I do hope you get things worked out. Are you on facebook? I deleted my old one because of unrelated drama, and made a new one just to invite folks here to. If you are, I'm Olive OilMom. Friend me.

Request sent I am Cindy

Some things are beyond your control. When they are, I just learned to let it go and leave it up to fate. After my children's father left me alone, 6 months late on the mortgage and 3 kids to feed, I was devastated. Not because I missed him but because he had abused me and left me emotionally crippled. Always the proper aspie, My emotions had shut down for so many years, I felt like a chair. I didn't care about anything. However, I was a responsible mother. I knew my kids needed love and affection whether or not I felt it. So I actually calculated how often and how I would show I loved them. I stayed up until 3 am every night calculating my bills and how I could pay them without his income. It was awful. I also forgot simple words. My brain just wouldn't form complete sentences. All I knew was I still had to survive. For my kids. So In addition to overtime at my full time low paying job I started waitressing from 4pm to 4 am Friday and Saturday nights at the local pancake house. By the time 3am on Sunday came around I was always in tears. But I made it. I saved the house, my kids are doing better than I could even hope for and I am financially secure now.

Over the years, I came to learn not to let the stress of things out of my control get to me. I know the solution will come to me in time to avert it. Or I will be able to ride it out. At the very least, I look at unfortunate events as opportunities for new discoveries.

BTW... I am soooo happy for you! Glad everything turned out like you needed.