Help, I'm having unhealthy perseverations that are ruining,,

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TabrisAngel
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05 Feb 2012, 3:52 am

my life and my relationship with friends. (continuing the subject line of the thread)

I've been hanging out with one of my friends all day, and it was brought to my attention by my friend's roommate that she was bored (which now that I consider her feelings, probably means mildly annoyed by it) with my purported preoccupation with dictators and an interest with North Korea that I have.

Now, I admit I've watched military parade videos on the projector in their shared family room and listened to music from NK.

This interest started shortly after my parents divorced. That and all the fights that my little sister and dad had. I don't know why. I kinda think it has something to do with my depression and anxiety. Also, I've had an interest...(it's just way too complicated to explain without going on a long rant)..suffice it to say... in politics and in Communism since I was like 6. I just watched a few documentaries on the Discovery channel and before I knew it, I was doing lots of internet research on North Korea. I know practically everything there is to know about the politics of the country. Then Youtube made it possible for me to watch all sorts of military parade stuff and other documentaries. I was able to "rid" myself of the interest for a few months but it reappeared after Kim Jong il died.

Anyways, I feel like this interest is really unhealthy for the friendships that I have, for possible jobs in the future, and also for my ability to develop my other interests and hobbies. If you were to meet me in person, you could come away with at least the superficial impression that I am an anime fan with a growing interest in science fiction literature and movies as well. The level of devotion which I give to these interests is pretty healthy. However, I know my obsession with North Korea makes other people uncomfortable. I've noticed that it also prevents me from really being interested in things that could improve my social life (e.g., tabletop gaming, reading, watching movies, and generally "being the nerd I am." I would like to get rid of this obsession so I can finally live healthy and enjoy my life.

Anyways, it is late (1:51 AM) where I live. I would like to provide more information. Tell me what you think about this.



dr01dguy
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05 Feb 2012, 4:58 am

Sorry, special interests don't work like that. The harder you try to diametrically change it, the more fascinating it's going to become, and the longer it's going to stick around.

You might, however, be able to slightly sidetrack it into something a tiny bit more socially-acceptable... like fascination with North Korea's next-door neighbor and alleged best friend, China. Perhaps start with Sino-Korean relations, then segue into something that truly IS objectively useful in the real world, like an interest in learning Chinese. Or, sticking with the North Korea theme, start learning Korean (including, or especially, the writing system). Even if your driving interest is North Korea, they speak the same language in South Korea.

You cold also try to learn more about the Ryungyong Hotel and its construction defects (like the crooked elevator shafts), and the retrofitting that Orascom has done to enable the building's completion (and possibly partial use someday). Or, you could research how North Korea could be compared to a quasi-religious cult.


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emtyeye
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05 Feb 2012, 8:05 am

It sounds to me like your problem is not that you have a special interest in N Korea, but that you need to learn how not to talk about it with people who don't find it interesting. Maybe try listening more carefully to what they are interested in that you also like and stick to that when talking to them. It can be hard not to go into rambling on and on about an interest, but it is possible with practice.

Your knowledge base about this enigmatic country could lead you to a job in international relations of some kind. Maybe you could even find some Korean people to talk to about your interest. They might be much more appreciative of your interest in the subject.



The_Perfect_Storm
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05 Feb 2012, 8:29 am

dr01dguy wrote:
Sorry, special interests don't work like that. The harder you try to diametrically change it, the more fascinating it's going to become, and the longer it's going to stick around.


Bad luck if you're into something strange or illegal.