wannabe

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when i look back now I was always a wannabe.

I wanted to be popular as my next door neighbour....so i started acting like her, i started dressing up like, i pretended to be confident, extrovert, smart etc.

Eventually after that flopped miserably people started laughing at me..i was butt of jokes.

Then my career flopped again i was a looser so i started a business which eventually ended with a blast.

All the while i acted like a WANNABE even on facebook people can make out that im a despo wannabe

Are aspie's usually having wannabe traits

In the beginning, then they might use their intellectual capacity to outdo NT:s.

It depends. To some point, everyone ever is a wannabe, if we didn't care about what other people did at all, we'd just never communicate or do anything. As Ecclesiastes says,

In my case, I guess I went through the later part of elementary school as much of a "wannabe" then later, I saw it wasn't working, then I tried to be like "independent," I guess. But, this just led me to be a wannabe with other nonmainstream crowd people. I tried to tell myself I didn't care what other people thought of me, but it was a lie, I did. We all do. So now, I try to just keep in mind that I do in fact care about what other people think of me, but at the same time, with that in mind, I can more clearly see the people I wish to please, why I wish to, etc. I think it's actually helped me care less of what people thought of me, just being conscious of the thought.

I think part of growing up, though, is you become more independent, and less of a wannabe. One example is this, in musical tastes, my musical tastes are all over the board. I see this too with my father. My father in the 70s and 80s used to listen to lots of metal music Black Sabbath and whatnot, now he listens to like....Abba. He doesn't need to impress people by being some badass dude anymore, so now he listens more to what he actually likes. This same thing happened to me, I guess I may have grown up faster because I got thrown out of school in 2007, so I've been out of my peer group since that time, but back when I was still in school, I'd listen to like, metal, rock, rap, but then as I left school, I started more and more listening to girly Japanese pop and eurobeat, until music like that became almost the entirety of what I listen to.

As far as what you can do, eh, I don't know. Try not to beat yourself up for it, because truthfully everyone is a wannabe in some way or another. Everyone desires to have the traits of someone else, it's just the way things are.

Yes. Aspies as well as NTs learn through imitation, though the Aspie way of imitation is usually different - hence being accused of social 'awkwardness' even when trying to fit in. To me, an example of bad imitation is how I wore a lot of heavy make-up because I'd never learnt how to do it *properly* through socialisation.

Yeah it seems only NT imitation is "approved(tm)".

Oh and NT won't divulge how to either.

That's right... NT's do it too... they just hit the tatget better...

I don't think it's necessarily acting like a wannabe. I think that Aspies tend to mimic the people around them in order to learn how to act.

Mimicry is a great way to learn! Everyone does it. And bullying you for something that's absolutely common, and human, is more of a reflection of them than you.

I usually don't have much of a personality around people, I tend to mimic them and sponge off of their personalities. Which is why I used to have such a diverse group of friends. My personality is more image based and mental, which is something that I feel is more of an Aspie trait. It's hard to find a niche in the world.

But, you know... no one should make fun of someone for trying to find that niche.

More importantly, you shouldn't feel bad about it, either.

but ended up acting like a joker mimicking people around me
it was not me i didnt understand who i actually was

Practice on people you don't have to see again
Join a theater group, watch TV and practice with a mirror. You will make mistakes, just make them where it doesn't matter.

now i have stopped imitating people.
i realise that original things are imporant and imitation is just fake

I agree, we mimic and imitate others to begin with or morph the personality closest to us or what we aspire to be, however it doesn't usually work like that so the person on the spectrum tends to end up having an identity crisis or being confused about their core values and beliefs.

I'm glad you have come to this realization, being yourself is the most important aspect, you can only build true comfort and confidence by being yourself.