My job...wow.

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Hi

Sorry for the long post, but my job is really getting me down and I just needed to get some stuff out in writing.

In my office, we are allowed personal items on our desks/noticeboards (within reason)...a lot of people I work with have pictures of sports teams/players pinned up, some have singers/bands they like and some have sayings/philosophies I guess they find funny.

A few years ago, I always used to have a picture of whoever my favourite band was at that time, but they would always get destroyed or drawn on (this was as well as people leaving humiliating notes on my desk and stealing my belongings...there was an occasion I was left a "ransom note" for some of my belongings).

I don't know why (because I've never done anything like that to anyone else) and I don't know who was doing it...but I had my suspicions, and those people have now left the company, so I had started having a picture out again.

Beginning with 2011, I decided to start having a small day-to-day desk calendar on my desk too...I've enjoyed reading the cartoons every day, and so has the nice lady who sits behind me.

Earlier this week, a woman who has worked in my office for a few years moved seat (for no legitimate reason) and is now sitting at the desk next to me. I got into the office today and said "hi" to this woman four times, but she ignored me, so I stopped trying. I looked at my calendar and noticed it was showing today's date - it should have still been on the day before, as I hadn't changed it yet. I asked this woman if she knew who had taken yesterday's page and she continued to ignore me. I kept asking her and eventually she denied having anything to do with it.

I looked on her desk and saw that not only had she taken the missing page, but she was writing customer information on it (so I would be breaking the law if I took it home with the rest of the pages).

I was upset, because:

1) She took something that was not hers and effectively ruined it
2) She did not apologise when I expressed this upset me
3) She lied directly to my face when I asked her about it

Every desk has a pad of paper on it, so there was no good reason for her to have taken the sheet from my calendar and written on it. It just seems like an act of malice, and she did not show any remorse. I do not get angry often, but I was shaking and close to tears. I couldn't bring myself to speak to anyone for the rest of the day.

This woman has been sitting at my desk on days when I have been on leave (or weekends, which I don't work) and has been adjusting my screen, phone and seat, and just making a mess. When I've come back to my desk, it has been covered in food crumbs, dried coffee stains and long hairs. I came in to work on Monday to find the bin sitting on my desk (surely that's not hygienic). There are a number of bins in the office and this one has always been shared between me and whoever is to my left (which is now the calendar vandal), so I can only assume she left it on there. Most days since I've walked in to empty coffee cups and plastic water cups lying around on my desk, which had never happened until she moved next to me. I have repeatedly asked her to please leave my desk tidy, but she has not been doing so. She also turns off the ringer on my phone, meaning I miss calls.

I know a lot of this may seem trivial, but the combination of having my belongings interfered with without apology, being lied to point blank, having garbage constantly strewn around my working area and feeling like I'm unable to follow the routine I got used to has got me feeling sad and confused.

I used to start my computer up, hang my coat on the coat stand, sit down, carefully tear off yesterday's calendar page, place it in the box the calendar originally came in (in date order) and take a few seconds to read today's cartoon...by which time, my computer should have fully booted, so I can get to doing my job. I now do not feel safe to leave my personal items on my desk, because I do not know what will happen to them when I'm not there.

My job is very frustrating, even without this. I feel I have been managed more heavily than most people I work with. I am always turned down for opportunities and refused if I volunteer to do anything. Management has ridiculed me in front of my co-workers before, so I am reluctant to go to them about anything like this. HR do not respond to my enquiries at all, so it just seems to be a case of "get on with it".

I'm not sure if I'm asking for advice or if I just wanted to vent...but thank you for reading.

Wow, your co-worker is an a**hole.

^^^ yup

I would wait until she's away from her desk, check to be sure no one's looking, and then pee in her coffee. And after warming up with that, I would get nasty about things.

Yeah, wow, I'd be angry and frustrated too. I worked half time and shared a desk with someone else, the first thing I did each day was clear and clean the desk of the other persons cups/crumbs etc. I hated that even though it wasnt wholy 'my' desk. Bummer about her taking your stuff, don't know what I would do about that .

This woman sounds like a right b***h. Does your manager know about your AS? I would write an email to your manager, tell them about this woman's behaviour. Explain how it seems spiteful as she's moved to your area for no necessary reason and your personal belongings are being messed about with. Make sure you screen-shot/save a copy of your email so they can't deny that they didn't receive your email.

If they don't do anything about it, start to mess around this woman's stuff back. Before doing so, take anything that's special to you (photos, pictures etc) back to your home, so it doesn't get destroyed in retaliation. If she complains to you, you can tell her, 'Well, now you know how it feels when people start to mess around with your personal belongings. I'll stop when you stop.' If she complains to the management, you can say that as they didn't do anything about it, you took matters into your own hands.

I might be naive but this sounds unacceptable. There's friendly banter, then there's bullying. I don't know about your current situation, but it doesn't look like there's any opportunity for you to be promoted/climb the career laddder there. I would personally start shoppig around for a different job. What do you want to do?

This woman is a sucksace (search: s; replace: f). I don't have any good advice though.

This is tough and it's hard to think of creative responses or retaliation if you want to remain employed.

For starters maybe consider unplugging your devices. Or just loosen the video connecter on the back your monitor. It sounds like a tough corporate culture though so I'm not sure how much you can get away with messing with their equipment. On the other hand you can honestly say people have been messing with your work station while away.

Or do harmless but annoying things with your work station. Configure the Screen Saver to put up a picture every 2 minutes. Use the Photo Screen Saver with pictures of the Blue Screen of Death. Or have the Screen Saver show a screen shot of the Windows Desktop. So when it comes up they'll think their program just disappeared. Or put fake desktop ICONs all over the place making it hard to for someone else to use it.

Also.......

This reminds me of something John Robison wrote about a bully who kept pinching people, so one day he just had enough and pinched the s**t out of this guy's belly with needle nose pliers. Of course the path following this isn't encouraging as he eventually dropped out of school. But I think there comes a time for some people where it has to be decided whether to quietly suffer while following the rules or say damn the consequences and fight back.

If you've been working here a long time and are a likely candidate for unemployment insurance then stand up and take the chance of being let go. Then if that happens take a year vacation with your unemployment checks. Or use state resources to retrain for a better job.

When you clean up her mess, collect it, put it all on her desk in a nice little pile with a note.

"I've returned your belongings. No need to thank me."

Buy her a custom made notepad which says on every page "I shall not steal", or loosen the screws on her chair . Perhaps looking for another job as it seems from what you have said that your business is run by a bunch of morons.

That's bullying. Complain to your boss.

Actually it's more than just that. She sounds like a borderline psychopath. I don't understand why you would do that to someone, I just don't.

I understand why children would do it but not adults.

First off, it's at least harassment. I would get back at her, but not in a blunt manner. Think of how she took your calendar sheet off and didn't even acknowledge your presence. When you get into work, unplug her keyboard and mouse from the back of the computer (while nobody is looking) and watch as her panic begins. When she blames you for it, act as if you had no idea.

"That's bullying. Complain to your boss." --

1.) Does your boss know you have AS?
-- If not, will it benefit you to release said information to said boss (have diagnosis papers handy in case they ask)
2.) Write an email to your manager stating the condition you find your desk in and the lack of respect for your things.
-- Make sure you get a screenshot of the email being shown as sent. Most business email accounts will show whether or not the recipient has in fact read the email so you will know if
-- the manager is lying about not getting it.
3.) Give step 2 a couple days and if you see no improvement then confront your manager in a respectful manner and ask if he/she has done anything about it.
-- If step 2 proves fruitless then proceed to involve HR.

On the note of your manager ridiculing you in front of your coworkers, that is unacceptable and should be brought to the attention of whoever is above him/her. If said manager is the highest you can go to, then contact the ADA and find out what can be done. Make sure that if you go this route, that you have documented evidence that the event took place.

Thirded.

I think you ought to say something to her first (loudly, and so other people here), but if she acts like that one more time, go to your boss and explain everything. Make a list of all the stuff (because one at a time it's not significant, but it adds up).

If your boss doesn't care, then for your own sake, think about changing jobs or transferring to a different department.

(btw, ask around; you may not be her only victim)

Pull the registration sticker off her license plate.

No, no, no. As a video I once saw. Report her car as stolen to 911 on a disposable cell phone while following her and watch the magic happen. Hahaha!

If she has a photo on her desk, take the frame cover off and insert this photo in over hers: http://img403.imageshack.us/img403/8316 ... chphot.jpg