Does anybody else feels like an outsider?

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This is a surreal post. I am not sure if I will be able to make my thoughts clear to you. But I am going to try.

I have always felt like that, I think, but it has been getting stronger lately. It is as if I were merely an observer, watching society from a distance without getting too involved in it.

For example, while I do have a few friends, I never really feel like I am part of their group; it feels more like I am just tagging along, without really caring about them. I was never really interested in people, although I like to have somebody to show my antics to.
The same applies to studying: while my classmates consider me "brilliant, but lazy", I am simply too uninterested to care. I think I could achieve something worthy of note if I could focus, but I lose interest in anything after some time.

Recently, I lost my interest in swimming, which used to be one of the few guaranteed ways of keeping me entertained ever since I was a kid. I also concluded that I have too many flaws and little desire to change, rendering me completely unfit for relationships. Which is not that much of a problem, since I am not as interested in romantic relationships as I used to be (not that I ever tried).

The only things I still care about are work and video games. I am very interested in finding a good job after my current internship ends and my superiors consider me a reliable and hard-working individual. I am also very interested in adventuring (for example, exploring, scuba diving and piloting aircraft), although I have never done any of those things: I do not have the money for that. In fact, my unrealistic desire for adventure is precisely what drives me to my vague goal of becoming rich and living away from society.

In other words, I am living in a world of my own, where no one else is allowed in. And I am only using the "real world" to make my "private world" a reality, which means I am not fully capable of experiencing what our (or should I say "your"?) society has to offer. And that is terrible (or not).

As for the point of this post: I am still trying to figure that out.

I can empathize with you. I'm not very interested in what society has to offer me either. I just want to get paid for my job and spend the money on things to amuse myself like video games. There are many things that I'd like to do but don't have the money. The real world sucks but my private world is awesome. I often wish I could live in my private world and not have to deal with the real world.

Wow, this is exactly how I feel. I go to work, do my job, come home and spend the rest of the day playing video games. I haven't talked to any of my old friends from school for like 2 years now. I live in Texas now, but kinda want to move to Oregon sometime (no logical reason). Been flirting with the idea of going back to college, but I don't know. I'd kinda like to get a girlfriend, but meh, not exactly out looking. My only companion right now is my cat. But you know what? I'm content right now. Weird huh.

Unfortunately, it is probably a bad idea to keep daydreaming and being indifferent to life. I really need to find something to keep my focus on life.

Maybe try an exciting hobby for adventure or if $$ is an issue then low cost adventure such as indoor rock climbing walls. Or try to set a goal for yourself to include starting small with training to run a 5K race and work up to a 1/2 marathon, for example depending on your interests.

I've been daydreaming and indifferent to life for years. I used to have some friends and have more of a social life about 5 years ago. They never really cared about me anyways. They just hung out with me because I was their hobby and they could take advantage of me. When they lost interest in me they tossed me aside and developed new hobbies. I still have mixed feelings about the people who I thought were my friends. We were friends for years and they betrayed me, but we still had many good times together. I was so convinced that we were real friends and I still haven't gotten over it. I can't stop reminiscing about all of the good times we had together. Now I don't really have any close friends. I spend most of my free time amusing myself by playing video games and doing other things by myself. I'm more sociophobic now and I don't think I could have another close friendship with someone like I had back then. The happiest moments of my life have been lost in the past. If you still have the opportunity to amuse yourself by experiencing things in the real world, don't give it up for obsessive hobbies in your private world. It's hard to go back to doing more things in the real world when you've been doing mostly things in your private world for a long time. I've been stuck doing mostly things in my private world for years and I've never been able to recover from it.

I feel like a Perspex wall between me and the rest of the world, it can be so depressing and anxiety producing I sometimes wish that I could have a close human relationship and thus a contact in the real world but yeah it's hard sometimes my dog isn't enough

Actually, I had some close friends when I was younger (from 9 to 13 years old), but they eventually began to avoid me. Of course, I am a difficult person to deal with (I am usually very rude with people who are close to me), which means it was probably my fault. It took me about 2 years to get over it and I spent most of the years after that avoiding people, but, since I already avoided people back then, I am not sure how much of it was a consequence of the "schism".

But I think you have a good point. I should stop trying to avoid the world. Right now, I am bored out of my mind and I have no idea of what I could do to pass the time. I am not really interested in downloading cartoons, films, games or comic books right now.

I am thinking of studying Biology or Mechanical Engineering after I am done with Accountancy. I like those subjects (and I really admire people like da Vinci, Darwin, Tesla and Santos Dumont), but there is still the problem of my irrational dislike for studying.

My friends told me I should find a girlfriend, but I do not think it would work for me. I am not the kind of person anybody would like to stay close for too long. I am only satisfied when I am doing something that keeps my mind off the outside world.

holy hell, that is actually how i feel, but you have it better, im 16, so i live with my NT parents and have to barricade my self in my room, till they drag me out... at least you have a apartment to hide in.

I feel like an outsider every time I go to my clubhouse.

I definitely feel like one. I usually watch social interactions from a far and almost study them. I'm always alone wondering what it would be like to have a group of friends. I have a few friends but each of them are separate single friends so I could never get them all in a group. Most times I spend my time alone doing solitary things living in my own fantasy world.