Memo to the world, re: My Birthday (rant)

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Polarhound
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08 Mar 2012, 6:56 am

I don't celebrate it. I don't want you to make me celebrate it. I don't want you to threaten to drag me out somewhere or buy me things. Material gifts mean nothing to me. If you try, the gift will likely just sit there unused and I will stare at you like you are from another planet.

Please stop making threats to "get me to celebrate it". You might as well threaten to punch me in the face, since that is what your statement is on par with to me.

No, I can't explain it more to you. No, you'll never understand the reasons. Just accept it and move on.



HisDivineMajesty
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08 Mar 2012, 7:42 am

I get what you mean there. Birthdays are basically just social constructs my family uses to gossip about those who didn't show up.
Not sure what it's like in other families, but I have the general agreement that I don't have to really celebrate my birthday while being required to show up for some other people's birthdays a few times a year.
As long as you know your age, I don't really think there's an issue in not paying attention to your birthday.



Sharkgirl
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08 Mar 2012, 7:50 am

When your actions are not considered socially acceptable its so annoying that others feel compelled to force social convention upon you.
I feel your pain.
I have all but given up on the birthday boycott, due to the fact that its just easier to go along with it.
I choose my fights nowadays - i simply need to conserve energy for the important things such as survival.


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goodwitchy
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08 Mar 2012, 10:40 am

Polarhound,
tell these people your birthday wish is to ___(whatever you like to do)___ at home, alone.

I take a vacation day at work on my birthday so I don't have to deal with the social and attention aspects of it.


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Princess78
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08 Mar 2012, 11:32 am

Just tell people you don't want them to make a big deal out of it. If you don't like parties, tell them you want to go out to eat, or order in -- Chinese is always good! :D If you do go out to eat, tell them to please not have the wait staff sing to you. I used to do that for my boyfriend, until he told me he didn't like it. This year, I decided not to. Have cake and presents at home. That's what I do.



questor
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08 Mar 2012, 12:52 pm

I don't like a birthday fuss either, but don't mind a meal out or at my parent's summer home. I live about 35-40 mins from there, through the lovely mountains in our area, so it's no problem driving that distance. With sleep apnea, I don't want to do any long distance driving, as road watching can be sleep inducing in people who are perpetually tired.

I also can't get out of attending at least a few family functions when my parents are up here during the warm months, as they are renting me the trailer I live in. It's not a good idea to upset your landlords. :-D They know I am not a social butterfly, and won't attend every function, but would get too upset if I refused to attend ALL functions. Being NTs, they think there is something wrong with being a loner. If you are alone and miserable about it, then yes, there is something wrong, but some people like being alone. There is nothing wrong with liking being alone, but NTs just can't seem to grasp that anyone might actually like being alone, so my parents think there is something wrong with me over this--I mean besides my other problems. So I do try to do a few things with them when they are up here--just to keep my family social membership current--and to keep them from calling for the men in the white coats. :-D

Don't stress too much over this. Just have a meal in or out with them, and pick occasional get-togethers to attend, but let 'em know you have other plans, when you really don't want to attend any other events.


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