Girl I loved engaged to another

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Just found out a girl who I pursued for years, is engaged to another. We were in touch for years, and I sensed I was so close to getting into a relationship with her. She told me about her problems, and I was there for her, and we went out on a few occasions. But it never happened, because I had to go back to school.

Finally in 2009, I was done, and back home and ready to really make it happen. I had a job and everything.

And a month before I got home, she got fixed up on a blind date. A month later they were BF GF. And then they got engaged recently.

f**k him for ruining my chances. f**k her friend for fixing them up-

Awe hell, who am I kidding? It's not them. It's me. Always, always me.

But damn I really loved her. Don't say otherwise. I really did. And it kills me that her happiness means me not sharing in it. It wasn't me. It never was me.

God I want to hurt myself right now. I mean, not kill myself, but really just slash my face up with a razor, so I'd look as ugly and unloveable as I feel.

I'll meet somebody though. Somebody will love me and accept me. I'm going to find her tomorrow. I've got to find someone now!

f**k, that sucks. But those loving feelings are going to be a hell of a lot better when they're reciprocated. Good luck.

I'm sorry you're going through that! I've had to deal with my marriage ending this past year too... Heartbreak sucks

moved from Love & Dating to The Haven

The worst part is that after giving it all you had, you feel like less of a person, and two people end up happy all in the same f-ed up process. The misery is all yours to deal with. If I were you, I'd quit obsessing and start escaping, the whole situation is unworthy of your attention.

Maybe you're right. Maybe it was always you. But now, you've finished school. You've got a job. Someday, someone else will come into your life and you will fall in love again. Only this time, you'll be ready.

You shouldn't wish a miserable life for someone you love, even if you aren't with them. That's not what love is about. She may not be with you, but if she's happy, then that should be good enough.

It is sad that the circumstances did not work out for you, but think of it this way: You'll find someone who will love you back and that will make it all the more worthwhile. Don't fret; just forget.

Of course, you'll get people like this who put blame on the victim. As if it were easy to simply just find someone else and completely forget about the girl prior. If that was the case, we wouldn't need any of these forums dedicated to helping people out with these issues.

I'm just glad you chose school over pursuing her, you had enough sense to not put it all on the line for her. All the negativity you're feeling isnt going to help, and it doesn't go away easily. I really can't tell you which distractions will help you forget her, but obsessing over her instead of school will only empower her over you.

When I feel negative (almost every day) I go running. I hate running so much that I soon forget about whatever else I hate. I actually walk to school early (4 mile hike), use the gym along the way, then go to school after a coffee break. No negativity gets in the way of my learning.

You need to first get over her before you decide a relationship will "fix things". I'm sorry you're still hurt about this but it happens. We can't make people stay and it's their choice to stay or leave for whatever personal reasons they have. Move on.

It really would benefit you if you could try to put your energy into something you enjoy. I understand how upset you are and I've gone through a similar experience myself, but you will get over it, I promise.