Being realistic vs being lazy

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This is a minor rant & I'm not expecting to get good advice from it.
I don't have much of anything going on rite now in my life for various reasons. I'm NOT happy about my situation despite what lots like to think but I have more problems when I try to change things. I faced lots of problems most all my life due to my AS, physical disabilities & other things limiting me & I caused lots of problems for myself & my family by pursing things & trying to change thiings that were not practical or realistic. I learned from experience that things go a lot better for me & my family when I kind of accept things & my situation instead of trying to make major improvements or change something big. Lots of people especially my parents think I'm not trying to better myself because I'm lazy, unmotivated & I'm happy with my situation which is opposite of what's really going on. I am very unhappy with things & frustrated with my situation but I am kind of stuck; it's like I'm trapped in quicksand, trying to struggles makes me sink. Instead of trying to fight the situation; I try to make little improvements & changes & I do try my very best & give it my all when I recognize I have an opportunity that seems practical & realistic for me. What's most frustrating is having my parents & others thinking negatively about me. I wish I could make everyone understand

Wow. Amazing how close your story parrallels mine. Last night I phoned my dad to wish him happy birthday. Usual pleasantries. How's my work situation.
No I'm not working.
His prognosis is that I'm work-shy.

Doesn't matter that I held my last full time job for three years and am only not there now because the business closed down. Doesn't matter that I live in one of Australia's highest unemployment zones. Nope... apparently I don't want to work.

Got on disability, which entitles me to not have to work. But I took the job search option and joined a job agency. Now I have to look all around, to keep the agency happy, or they'll find me something. Only problem is, they'll find me stuff that REALLY doesn't fit. And I've got no idea where to find entrance-level appropriate work.

The problem is time. It might be possible to work it out eventually, but the pressure is on. If I don't do it the agency way, then I might be asked why I'm there. I could go it alone, but their resources would be helpful, especially their initial support if work does eventuate.

Every day is the same. I don't know how to break this cycle.

One ray of hope though. A book I'm really enjoying. Think you might like it too. 'Who Are You? What Do You Want?' by Mick Ukleja & Robert L. Lorber. A cheesy title, but it just seems to be hitting the right notes for me. See if you can get it through your library.