Isolation
I'm extremely isolated and extremely paranoid. I have no clue who to trust anymore. It has gotten to a critical point. I got off Facebook cause of it but I have no real-life interaction with friends except for a friend who lives several states away and can only talk once a week because she has a life. I constantly feel like people are doing things against me and I don't know what is real and what is not because I have some actual sane reasons to think some things could be done against me and the rest, not sure how much, is fed by my isolation. I don't trust a single soul anymore even on the nonthinking level, it causes me a lot of anxiety to be in close proximity to people, even family members. I have been thinking of killing myself and I have felt very depressed and I don't know what to do about it, the world is just seeming very cruel. I have never been paranoid before just recently and if I thought isolation in itself was bad isolation plus paranoia/fear and mistrust of humans feels like the end of the world. I am so sad it got to this point. I don't know what to do. I just saw my therapist and it helped some and we went over paperwork for me to get extra supports, but it's only an application, not guaranteed. I feel like the most lowly miserable worm typing this. My paranoia extends to fearing people will hate me if I express weakness and depression because it happened before. It started going steeply downhill when I could not stop lying to myself anymore that someone who I thought cared about me and who I cared about turned out not to. I don't trust a single soul and this is hard because I feel the need to be around people. Loneliness is killing me.
GamerNerd07901
Snowy Owl
Joined: 5 Jun 2011
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 130
Location: Summit, New Jersey
Welcome to WP. I can't say that I know how your feeling, but If isolation is your problem then its great that you joined a forum like this. I've always been greatful that I could air out all of my thought to a nonjudgmental community, especially with no face to face conversation, and all the social akwardness I carry arround with me. I imagine this place could do something simmilar for you. Maybe help you come out of your shell a little bit.
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What is learning? Its paying attention. its opening yourself up to this great big ball of****that we call life! And whats the worst that could happen? You get bit in the ass! Well let me tell you, My ass looks like hamburger meat,But I can still sit down!
SanityTheorist
Veteran
Joined: 13 Feb 2012
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,105
Location: The Akuma Afterglow
What events made you paranoid of people?
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