Why does life have to be so hard?

Post Reply New Topic

I feel like I don't belong on this earth. Nobody understands me that is if they even know that I exist.
It causes me to crave attention. The only time people notice me is when being pessimistic on the internet.
I don't want popularity just a friend or someone that knows that I exist. I think my life is improving and it is but I still can't control my emotions.

because there are too many two-faced lying social game playing NT's who still have neanderthal instincts....

People think evolution has to do with belief......

the world is so tainted.

If you want a friend try being a friend. Nobody is going to want anything to do with you while you act like a jerk, so stop acting like a jerk. Instead, try being polite and civil. But don't expect the NTs to come and slobber all over you. They are herd animals, and tend to reject those not of the herd. News Flash: We are not of the herd. I guess you'll have to settle for us, then, but only if you start behaving yourself. We don't take well to being mistreated. Been there and had that done to us too many times.

Now you just sit back and think about how to be polite and civil, and then start posting and responding to posts that way. Things will get better once you do that.

How is the OP acting like a jerk by posting this, I really think you should think about what you post before posting.......I mean you have a tendency to kind of talk down to people, I don't know if its intentional so if not I am not trying to be mean just letting you know for your own good. If you are well then that's not very nice.

How was I a jerk? I haven't used this site in a couple of weeks so I don't know what makes you think that I was a jerk to anyone. I don't recall mistreating anyone. I said that I was pessimistic and was referring to another website.

WTF??? I haven't seen her do anything like that. Maybe you have her confused with somebody else. You must have, because she's not like that at all.

That's really kind of over the line too, to post something like that. I tend to come down on people when I feel like they are wrong or that they need to hear it, but I try not to do it in the haven, when they are upset over something. If I feel like I need to point something out like that to them, I try saying it in a nice and helpful way.

Maybe you should look back over her posts and see if she was the one you were thinking of, cause I doubt she is.

I think I get what questor was trying to say. If you want people to befriend you, you have to look approachable. Smile at them, for example. You can control the reaction and social feedback that you're getting from other people.

If you seem withdrawn and unsociable -- which is how the social behavior of aspies is often interpreted by NTs -- people will either keep their distance or respond in kind. But if you make the conscious effort to smile at the world, the world smiles back. (That's the theory, at least. I've never managed to put this into practice myself).

I agree with that, but he seemed to imply that she was being a jerk and that was the problem.

Getting back to the content of the original post, I'm not sure if this relates to what you are feeling, but in my experience, I have found that I carry my sense of being unwanted with me despite other people's attempts to befriend me. It is sometimes as if I see the world with all the positive actions of people filtered out. I only recognize their actions when they are negative and rejecting.

When I have thought back upon some of my interactions with people, I have realized that it was I who was doing the rejecting. For example, friends might invite me to some event, but I decline because I just assume they are only doing so out of a sense of obligation and are secretly hoping they won't have to deal with me. Even now, with my closest friends, I find it hard to ask if I can visit because I feel I would be a burden and inconvenience to them and they would really rather avoid me.

What helps me is to tell myself that my assumptions about how people see me are utterly wrong. I have to remind myself that I have only the vaguest idea of what people actually think. They may like me or they may not. But if I respond to others as if I thought they actually wanted my company, I find I have better relationships with them. Yes, it feels like I'm fooling myself, but the thing I have to keep reminding myself of is that the world is radically different from what I perceive it to be.

I suppose it's a bit like asking a person who is hallucinating to ignore his hallucinations. It's hard not to react badly to what seems to be an attack. But I've found that most people will try to live up to the level of decency you expect of them. If you assume they mean well, you may find that they are more accepting than you expected.

i dont think i have advice but if it is any comfort people do know you exist and people dont just notice you when you are being a pessimist- you have more than one dimension. i mean i noticed you because you were political and left wing. i generally try to gauge peoples politics even though i cant recall names but i remembered yours first go so yeah point is people know you are here and dont just notice you when you are sad.
i cant really say anything about making friends because i am in the same bind or about emotions because my solution was to eliminate them but i suppose if you wanted to regulate them you could find something that makes you happy and do that. when i feel sad i go on the swings or sit in the library or graveyard. if ever i need to alter my mood i do those things and it is instant happiness within 5minutes. when i need to calm myself down i alphabetically list plant names- stuff like that i mean.
sorry i suck at advice.

It may help to become involved in something you enjoy such as a hobby which can you help you forget about feeling ignored (at least for awhile). It is difficult when someone is at a disadvantage socially and is not able to clearly read social cues and nonverbal cues. It seems unfair to have to work at not misunderstanding another's intentions since nonverbal communicaiton is 65% of all communication.

I've only been on WP for a few weeks, but I do recognise your name & avatar, not least because you started up the Unpopular WP members club. Please come and visit the club regularly - you'll get a warm welcome

I think life is hard because everyone is in competition. It is part nature but also prevelant in how we teach our kids. Everyone is trying to be the best so life is hard. However consider the following quote:

"Life is difficult, as soon as you realize that life is difficult, life is no longer difficult."

Perhaps if we lived in a communist utopia, where co-operation outwieghts competition then things may be less hard. But things never stay the same.

That's some very clever insight, I can 'see' your point.