Does anyone else feel like their family doesn't help at all?

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I live with my father who seems to want near nothing to do with me outside of schoolwork, and have a mother who essentially wants a male servant that will do everything for her. She is heavily medicated and steals money from the government to survive when she could easily just get a job. I know this because she has been offered many times and has turned them all down. Nothing she does is even creative, she just watches damn TV all day. She is extremely manipulative and almost broke me entirely, and I was only saved from a very kind mentor from becoming completely fake, immature eternally and overall useless and lazy. She also says she doesn't get a job so she can be with Luke, her 1 year old son, but I almost never see the two interacting. That isn't healthy nor moral according to society, but she claims she is doing the right thing.

Meanwhile my father is very insecure and needs outside approval for all of his actions, has no sense of purpose and no set rules for what he accepts and doesn't accept, is very harsh about me when I am having aspergers related issues, and is completely absent from my life pretty much. I have tried to incorporate him more, but he just doesn't seem interested. I have written many songs about that, both on bass and lyrics.

My grandmother is kind when I follow her directions when she clearly says what she wants. but is extremely hostile when I am not giving eye contact, despite it making me uncomfortable. She, unlike my mother, actually interacts with me when she invites me over, though, so I have far more respect for her.

How many others feel unloved or unaccepted by their family? I just know my parents wanted a "normal" child.

Hey man, I'll tell you this much:

Whenever I was in a situation where I was being abused, or deprived of something I just worked harder. I spent more hours at work, or I studied more. I made sure I was working towards something that would get me out of my current situation. That's the only thing you can do, or you can move or win the lottery.

I have just as crazy if not crazier a "family" than you do, and now I live on my own and I'm working towards better things. We're fortunate enough in north america to be able to do that

I suggest studying your passions and interning somewhere that supports those passions. For example, I've been studying finance non-stop for years and I've recently contacted the CEO of a bank, and now I have an interview.

The hardships developed me as a person, yes. My point here is that it shouldn't be from familial issues, it should be from outside sources with family as comfort. Instead I have to rely on music.

Well I've been branching out into drawing but after that I should be fine. I just want to be in a place without so much apathy around, somewhere I can just write music in peace.

Look on the bright side. At least you're not being physically abused.

It would have been great to have a family that just didn't care. Enjoy it.

Yeah, not great advice, really. Comparing your own problems to other people's worse problems does nothing to lessen the hardship of your own experiences. As others have said, the obvious answer is that you just need to get out of there.

Psychological abuse is caustic because it shakes your sense of what it means to be "right", to be "just", etc. It shatters your whole structure so you basically have to rebuild yourself completely. This was the case for me, I'm not sure how most deal with familial issues.

Bear in mind that physical abuse comes with psychological abuse. Being struck by my father and being denigrated verbally by him both hurt, one just hurt two ways instead of one. After I got big enough to be dangerous to him (or perhaps big enough so that striking without bruising became impossible), the verbal and situational abuse continued.

(This is stuff from long ago; I don't currently live at, or near, my biological family)

Well AspieAshley and AngelKnight, let's hear your stories. I am curious why both of you are being so defensive about your suffering being better than the other's...

Yeah, but isn't all abuse bad? I'm curious why you two think you were badly abused. Unless it brings up bad memories you'd rather suppress it may help people to see how you got past it.

Oh, man. The sad thing is that I haven't gotten past it. In fact that's what I hope being on Wrong Planet will help with.
The most basic thing my parents do is challenge everything I say no matter what I say. Every time I express a thought, an emotion, or try to entertain an idea that I have, they tell me why I'm wrong. Or even say "that's a wonderful idea" and then walk off figuratively without really listening. They don't let me worry or get angry when such responses are appropriate. They're always engaged in something else when I try to talk to them. I've talked more about it in my thread about my parents lying and manipulating me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqyU2X-qEbg

Some parents are just disappointed when their kids don't have the same values as they do...which is wrong. maybe this song will help you like it has helped me.