Page 1 of 1 [ 7 posts ]
29 Mar 2012, 4:12 pm
Okay so basically, my linguistics professor is currently going over the chapter on semantics, especially focusing on implicatures. So basically things like sarcasm, assumptions, etc. A majority of our assignments consist of decoding a number of sentences and finding the double meanings within them. Some are jokes, some are contradictions, and some are trick statements. From the start, these assignments have been difficult for me to do. I have trouble reading the hidden meanings and explaining them in the way she wants us to. To make things worse, she is rather unforgiving when it comes to poor performance and usually attributes it to us not doing the readings or paying attention. Needless to say, I'm starting to fall behind, despite doing both of these and I missed two classes due to feeling sick. I decided to email her before things got too bad. I tried to be polite while still addressing my concerns. As for her reply, she found my "attacks" to be highly insulting and that she'd gotten notes from students who proclaimed how helpful and exciting her class was. She also said she had no intention on changing the way she teaches and even said she considered sending my email to the head of the department to read and assumed I was trying to tell her how to run her class. Even while reading over my email now I fail to see how she got any of that from it. I felt so distraught that I began crying right then and there and felt way too frustrated to even attend class at that point. This is why I hate emailing my professors. They always just end up reading me the wrong way. I'm still not even diagnosed for Asperger's but whether I have it or not, I just really wanted somewhere to vent about such problems and I felt like here would be the best. Thanks for listening 
29 Mar 2012, 6:10 pm
biribiri20 wrote:
Okay so basically, my linguistics professor is currently going over the chapter on semantics, especially focusing on implicatures. So basically things like sarcasm, assumptions, etc. A majority of our assignments consist of decoding a number of sentences and finding the double meanings within them. Some are jokes, some are contradictions, and some are trick statements. From the start, these assignments have been difficult for me to do. I have trouble reading the hidden meanings and explaining them in the way she wants us to. To make things worse, she is rather unforgiving when it comes to poor performance and usually attributes it to us not doing the readings or paying attention. Needless to say, I'm starting to fall behind, despite doing both of these and I missed two classes due to feeling sick. I decided to email her before things got too bad. I tried to be polite while still addressing my concerns. As for her reply, she found my "attacks" to be highly insulting and that she'd gotten notes from students who proclaimed how helpful and exciting her class was. She also said she had no intention on changing the way she teaches and even said she considered sending my email to the head of the department to read and assumed I was trying to tell her how to run her class. Even while reading over my email now I fail to see how she got any of that from it. I felt so distraught that I began crying right then and there and felt way too frustrated to even attend class at that point. This is why I hate emailing my professors. They always just end up reading me the wrong way. I'm still not even diagnosed for Asperger's but whether I have it or not, I just really wanted somewhere to vent about such problems and I felt like here would be the best. Thanks for listening
It sounds like you would benefit from a formal diagnosis. Then have a 3rd party to contact her on your behalf. She is likely ignorant of issues people on the Austism spectrum deal with. Until you have a formal diagnosis you'll have trouble getting her to accept that you have AS/HFA.
Beyond that have you considered partnering with someone in class that can help you decode such assignments?
29 Mar 2012, 7:30 pm
29 Mar 2012, 7:30 pm
biribiri20 wrote:
Okay so basically, my linguistics professor is currently going over the chapter on semantics, especially focusing on implicatures. So basically things like sarcasm, assumptions, etc. A majority of our assignments consist of decoding a number of sentences and finding the double meanings within them. Some are jokes, some are contradictions, and some are trick statements. From the start, these assignments have been difficult for me to do. I have trouble reading the hidden meanings and explaining them in the way she wants us to. To make things worse, she is rather unforgiving when it comes to poor performance and usually attributes it to us not doing the readings or paying attention. Needless to say, I'm starting to fall behind, despite doing both of these and I missed two classes due to feeling sick. I decided to email her before things got too bad. I tried to be polite while still addressing my concerns. As for her reply, she found my "attacks" to be highly insulting and that she'd gotten notes from students who proclaimed how helpful and exciting her class was. She also said she had no intention on changing the way she teaches and even said she considered sending my email to the head of the department to read and assumed I was trying to tell her how to run her class. Even while reading over my email now I fail to see how she got any of that from it. I felt so distraught that I began crying right then and there and felt way too frustrated to even attend class at that point. This is why I hate emailing my professors. They always just end up reading me the wrong way. I'm still not even diagnosed for Asperger's but whether I have it or not, I just really wanted somewhere to vent about such problems and I felt like here would be the best. Thanks for listening
First, it's always better to have this kind of discussion with a professor in person in their office. It might be scary, and you might have to rearrange your schedule a bit to accommodate their office hours, but it's very hard to convey some things via email. Just as there is no sarcasm font, there is also no innocent-but-clueless font. She can't gauge your attitude from an email.
Second, when addressing this kind of problem, try to avoid "you" phrases. Concentrate on "I" phrases. "I am having difficulty with assignment XYZ." "I have read Dr. Astounding's article as you said -- I have the notes I took while reading it here -- but have always had trouble with double en tenders and hidden meanings. I think that's why I am having trouble with this assignment. Could you please point out what is intended once more?" Notice, you haven't said word one about how she presents the material, only about your particular problem. The only "you" phrase in the entire thing is when you identify the specific assistance you need.
As for your immediate situation: however you may interpret your email, she obviously found it very offensive. If you want to salvage this situation, you need to write a second email and apologize for giving offence. That's it. Don't elaborate, don't try to explain what you really meant, absolutely don't tell her how upset her response made you. Any attempt to elaborate or explain your intention could be misinterpreted (personal experience, here) and telling her she made you cry would be unprofessional (yes, you need to worry about that sort of thing, now.) Just tell her that you have greatly enjoyed her class up to this point, apologize briefly and sincerely for giving cause for offense, and ask if you can schedule an appointment to speak with her in her office about your class performance. Once there, use the advice in the second point, above -- "I" phrases, not "you" phrases.
And if you believe this is going to be a continuing issue, do go ahead and try to get a diagnosis. Right now, you have no standing to request accommodations or special handling, or even to explain the situation well.
29 Mar 2012, 8:03 pm
pschristmas wrote:
biribiri20 wrote:
Okay so basically, my linguistics professor is currently going over the chapter on semantics, especially focusing on implicatures. So basically things like sarcasm, assumptions, etc. A majority of our assignments consist of decoding a number of sentences and finding the double meanings within them. Some are jokes, some are contradictions, and some are trick statements. From the start, these assignments have been difficult for me to do. I have trouble reading the hidden meanings and explaining them in the way she wants us to. To make things worse, she is rather unforgiving when it comes to poor performance and usually attributes it to us not doing the readings or paying attention. Needless to say, I'm starting to fall behind, despite doing both of these and I missed two classes due to feeling sick. I decided to email her before things got too bad. I tried to be polite while still addressing my concerns. As for her reply, she found my "attacks" to be highly insulting and that she'd gotten notes from students who proclaimed how helpful and exciting her class was. She also said she had no intention on changing the way she teaches and even said she considered sending my email to the head of the department to read and assumed I was trying to tell her how to run her class. Even while reading over my email now I fail to see how she got any of that from it. I felt so distraught that I began crying right then and there and felt way too frustrated to even attend class at that point. This is why I hate emailing my professors. They always just end up reading me the wrong way. I'm still not even diagnosed for Asperger's but whether I have it or not, I just really wanted somewhere to vent about such problems and I felt like here would be the best. Thanks for listening
First, it's always better to have this kind of discussion with a professor in person in their office. It might be scary, and you might have to rearrange your schedule a bit to accommodate their office hours, but it's very hard to convey some things via email. Just as there is no sarcasm font, there is also no innocent-but-clueless font. She can't gauge your attitude from an email.
Second, when addressing this kind of problem, try to avoid "you" phrases. Concentrate on "I" phrases. "I am having difficulty with assignment XYZ." "I have read Dr. Astounding's article as you said -- I have the notes I took while reading it here -- but have always had trouble with double en tenders and hidden meanings. I think that's why I am having trouble with this assignment. Could you please point out what is intended once more?" Notice, you haven't said word one about how she presents the material, only about your particular problem. The only "you" phrase in the entire thing is when you identify the specific assistance you need.
As for your immediate situation: however you may interpret your email, she obviously found it very offensive. If you want to salvage this situation, you need to write a second email and apologize for giving offence. That's it. Don't elaborate, don't try to explain what you really meant, absolutely don't tell her how upset her response made you. Any attempt to elaborate or explain your intention could be misinterpreted (personal experience, here) and telling her she made you cry would be unprofessional (yes, you need to worry about that sort of thing, now.) Just tell her that you have greatly enjoyed her class up to this point, apologize briefly and sincerely for giving cause for offense, and ask if you can schedule an appointment to speak with her in her office about your class performance. Once there, use the advice in the second point, above -- "I" phrases, not "you" phrases.
And if you believe this is going to be a continuing issue, do go ahead and try to get a diagnosis. Right now, you have no standing to request accommodations or special handling, or even to explain the situation well.
Yeah, I did use a lot of "you" phrases. I guess I shouldn't have done that. Luckily, I didn't tell her I cried or how she made me upset, but I will stop using the email approach from now on and just make appointments to meet with her instead. As for how she actually presents and teaches the material, she's a good teacher and knows the material, and I made sure to mention it in the email but I guess it wasn't enough. It really is just her attitude that the other students don't like about her. But at the very least, I guess once she sees me mumbling and stuttering in front of her, trying to find the right words to say, it will make a different impression. But really, thanks so much, guys. I will definitely apologize to her and try to sort this whole mess out.
30 Mar 2012, 8:53 am
06 Apr 2012, 10:43 pm
Okay, I met with my professor. At first she was very cold towards me but I apologized to her. Then I gave here the letter I received from the Special Services office on campus. Even then, she was very curt and harsh, saying that this doesn't mean I would be excused and how I'm still held to the same standards and other things. Of course, I understood this perfectly but at that moment I suddenly started tearing up. She noticed my bad job at trying to wipe my tears away unnoticed and then she suddenly started being a LOT kinder. Her whole attitude changed, and she said that it's okay, she understands and that I didn't need to cry anymore. I don't know if she was pitying me or if she just didn't want to cause a scene. Either way, I guess things worked out? She said she would try to slow things down and would try to make sure I understood them before moving on next time. I don't know, the whole thing was really embarrassing for me, but at least a lot of good came out of it 
Ettina wrote:
Well, it would be better if you had an AS diagnosis, but even with ADHD, semantic-pragmatic language issues are an associated feature.
Are you registered with your university's center for disability accomodations? (It's called something different in each university, but usually has 'disability', 'accessibility' or something similar in the name.) If not, you need to get registered with them. It will make university so much easier once you're getting proper accomodations. If so, talk to the student advisor person with that center and explain that you have semantic-pragmatic language issues and are having difficulty in linguistics as a result. Your professor is required to provide reasonable accomodation for a disabled student.
Are you registered with your university's center for disability accomodations? (It's called something different in each university, but usually has 'disability', 'accessibility' or something similar in the name.) If not, you need to get registered with them. It will make university so much easier once you're getting proper accomodations. If so, talk to the student advisor person with that center and explain that you have semantic-pragmatic language issues and are having difficulty in linguistics as a result. Your professor is required to provide reasonable accomodation for a disabled student.
Yes, I'm registered with my school's Special Services office. I am allowed an extra hour on tests, early registration, and this assistant person who will occasionally have me meet with them to make sure I'm meeting my goals(forgot what they were called), in addition to a therapist I can talk to if I have a bad day or something. Well, I do have very rigid routines and habits (before hearing of AS, I was sure I had OCD), I'm very introverted and socially awkward, and scarily obsessive about my interests. I guess I'm just afraid of getting a diagnosis because that will be yet another label to have and I know people can be very discriminating to those with disabilities in the workplace. Even then, I don't have the money to get tested at the moment. Maybe in another year or two would be better for me.
