cause stress to parents

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caueing stress to parents
i been doing some resurch and it looks like the aspie traits like i got cause loads of stress to parents and carers

i feel bad for doing that.

please reply?

Last edited by mmcool on 07 May 2012, 6:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I here that alot, but I think the idea, or the impression "Awareness" and the media gives cause more stress than the kids themselves.

I can only speak for myself. But I took care of the adults and other NT's in my family growing up. Teachers said they wished every pupil was like me.

Honestly, I think it's true sometimes but NT's on average are probably just as bad.

i have AS
i been reading up on the stress it cause to perents and carers and it looks like alot
i wish i could cause less stress to others

I think the stress given to carers depends on which particular traits? you have.
Some people can be more sensitive to the environment and this could cause more stress to carers
personally my mum can become frustrated by the extent that I over think social interactions and she worries that I dont see my friends enough or make more friends but I wouldn't say that this is stress.
I agree with RobotGreenAlien2 in that the media exagerates many issues and causes more stress than what is real but if you are worried about the wellfare of your parents you could always voice those concerns.
It is amazing how oftern I will misinterperate the feelings of others.

im been reading it up and it sounds like the traits in AS cause loads of stress for perents and carers

I don't know how much stress I cause for my parents, they are divorced and my dad's still homeless but stays with friends, he was in jail so he's still trying to save up enough money to get a place to live. I live at my moms and well I was in college and now I'm not. And I'm not sure if I can find work.......I feel like I kinda fail at life but if I can just find a way to make income maybe things will somewhat work out though probably not.

You didn't cause your parents to divorce.

Yeah I am perfectly aware of that......I was just saying they are since I feel that was relevant. I mean I guess I feel like more like I'd stress my mom out by not going anywhere in life and can't function in society. But my dad kinda sees where I am coming from though for whatever reason he thinks because he's able to function in spite of all the crap and his psychological issues everyone should be able to, or that if not they should be able to drink it away. So we have some conflict there as I have trouble functioning due to it and I do drink but I don't want to drink every day even though sometimes I do that anyways for periods of time.

I'd say I feel worse about failing at life then the whole divorce thing though that bothered me to.......but not because I think its my fault, it just really sucked and finally happened at pretty much the worse point in time it could have.

My kids cause me way more joy than stress. I'm not perfect, they're not perfect -it doesn't matter. We all have good days and bad days. Perhaps having AS can make some of our stressful times more intense, but we also have a lot of peace in our house (we're all introverts), and some times that are particularly wonderful because of exactly who my sons are (and AS is an inextricable part of that).

I think it's true to say that having a child with AS may cause parents stress. However, that doesn't automatically mean that everyone with AS causes stress to their parents or other adults.

As I understand it, there are certain behaviour traits associated with AS that can make others feel stressed. For example, always asking lots of questions and talking at great length about special interests.

It seems to me that you are worrying too much about how your AS affects other people. Perhaps you need to think about how it affects you, and how you can learn to cope with the aspie traits that cause you problems?

im saying things like all the meltdows makes it hard for perents

Parenting is hard no matter what child you have, or so I've heard.

Besides, the world causes plenty of stress for those of us with an ASD, and I don't see anyone weeping with guilt over it.

as a parent of autistic children and an Aspie I'll say this the major stressor for me is dealing with insurance and doctors.

Honestly my kids are the reason I've not committed suicide. I love them dearly and the troubles I have with their father are just that.......troubles with their father. He can be one giant jerk. Most of the other autism mother's I've spoken to feel the same way about their children. Cheer up it's all the crap that your mom has dealt with but any good mother would gladly lock horns with whoever to make the life of their child better.

Smile and be happy find something to connect with your mom about and stop blaming yourself.

I can't see us being worse than a typical neurotypical teenager.

I know NTs can be bad. I know lots of people who have stress with their kids, especially if they're teenagers of grown-up. But they seem to be normal problems. Like I know someone who's daughter is so lazy and absent-minded that she doesn't want to bother getting a job, and her mum is worried that she will have to keep her and that she don't she'd be able to afford to, and she doesn't want to chuck her out because she would have nowhere to go, and so on.
Another parent I know has a teenager who has just got pregnant, and she is only 15. The parents are very stressed about their child, and even I feel quite sorry for them.

But as for me, I cause unusual problems, the type what my mum can't relate to any other parents about. In my head I seemed to have constructed a list over the years of what upsets me, and those things are stuck in my mind now and so I automatically react when these things that upset me happen, and they are so trivial that they wouldn't be enough to upset everyone else, but these are really big to me. And sometimes I feel that it is all madness. I even get angry at myself about it, but I can't help the sensory issues, the obsessions, and the anxieties. They are part of me and the way I am, but I am causing so much grief because of it. But often I say to my mum, ''be thankful I am not doing drugs and sleeping around and all stuff like that'', but she just says, ''no, I just wish you were a happy-medium.''

I wish I was too.