FML! so frustrated...

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I don't know what the hell to do if I don't find work......or decide to really focus on getting on SSI. Fact of the matter is with no income I cant survive unless I want to be even more of a burden to friends and family. So what am I supposed to do other than kill myself when I get denied for SSI again and cannot find part time/seasonal/temporary work? or get fired from any job I do manage to get?

So yeah that is the biggest problem in life right now and I hate it, I don't even like having a monetary system yet I depend on income to survive just like everybody else.......It just seems there is really no way to get around without money, especially for an abnormal person with horrible social skills such as myself. If there's a hell I think I'm in it I mean I'm stuck in a world I don't belong and don't have the skills/tools to function/succeed in it pretty hellish if you ask me......just don't know what to do.

And no distracting myself wont help, so please for the love of stormy days and kittens please don't suggest that.

LOOKING FOR WORK

1. Have you considered self employment? Perhaps there is a hobby or interest of yours that you can turn into a job.

2. Whether working for yourself or looking for a job working for others, try networking among family, friends, and acquaintances. Ask them if they know of anyone who is hiring workers, or who might pay you for your own self employment work.

3. Try the state employment office. They have computers you can use to search their own and other job data bases, and they can help you with writing up resumes, cover letters, and with sending free faxes to respond to job ads. They can also give you employment aptitude tests. You can also access their online job data base from your own home computer.

APPLYING FOR SSI

If you don't have an attorney for your SSI case, get one. If you can't afford one, get one from Legal Aid. They don't collect unless you do. Also, it is absolutely essential for your SSI case that you see doctors for any and all of your health issues, including Asperger's, depression, and any other neurological and/or mental health issues. Your attorney will then request paper work from the doctors prior to the SSI appeal hearing, so that you will have documentation of your health situation to show the judge. Without medical documentation you don't have a chance of winning your appeal.

I had to go through all this myself a few years ago. I was told by the state workers that the feds almost always deny the initial application for SSI, and that in NY state the waiting period usually takes about 18 months from the denial until the appeal hearing, and that's about how long it was for me. I had no money except a little temporary state assistance, so I got a Legal Aid attorney, and she had me sign medical releases, so that she could get documentation from the doctors I was seeing for several health problems. Because I had enough documentation, and the help of the attorney, I was able to win my appeal without having to do it again.

So I say again, get an attorney and keep seeing the doctors for any medical conditions. This will help your case.

How many times have you applied for disability? You usually have to appeal a few times and eventually they'll give it to you. They do it on purpose because they don't want people to be able to get it so easily. If worse comes to worse you can always apply for welfare. Take advantage of food banks as well, you'd be surprised at how much food they give you but be sure to bring a car because they give you a lot of food. Mind you, I'm talking about Canada. I don't know if it's harder or easier to get things like that wherever you are.

You and me both. Don't know what it is I've been doing wrong, but it seems that people would rather hire my brother who has much more anger issues and has walked out on more jobs than I've ever had. Almost feels like it's more of a social game rather than based on any real work ethic. Imagine if way back when people had to grow their own food, if they only ever socialized all the time, we'd pretty much be extinct. Ugh.

Sorry I don't have any real advice. Hope it gets better for ya.

If I could learn to play a bloody guitar I could go downtown and play it for some change....but I was not blessed with musical abilities I guess.

I dunno, it might not hurt to try to learn to play an instrument or anything like that. Not everyone is born with those sort of gifts, but can still get better at them and I'm sure you could get at least somewhere with them being self taught or looking up specific websites or message boards on them. At the very least you could find a new hobby that might really interest you. I've tried some music, both with instruments, computer programs, songwriting, and other various stuff, as well as drawing, painting, comics, animation, writing stories, acting, making my own computer games. Might be a long shot, and obviously you might not be as good at some things, but perhaps with enough dedication and free resources you might be able to find a real useful skill and a way to make money.

Ok well I have a plan and I hate it but I am kind of running out of ideas and would prefer not to commit suicide so. I will continue looking into finding work until I run out of money and if things still look bleak.....I guess I can always find a hospital and ask to be committed to the mental ward(I wont have much trouble convincing them considering how that will likely effect my mental state), then I can talk to a freaking psychologist or whatever and maybe get some of this mental crap on record and maybe help with it. It could also help with the SSI thing since I don't have any official diagnoses that I know of.....its possible I do for depression but I would have gotten that at the age of 15 and I am not sure I was diagnosed with it or not.

I guess my main concern would be I don't want something weird to happen, like ending up being forced to remain in such a place for a significant portion of my life, but maybe I'm just being paranoid. But yeah with no money I cannot do what I do to manage my symptoms, so I'd prefer to be somewhere safe because let me tell you things get pretty bad if I do nothing to alleviate the symptoms. At this point sure I am not sure just how bad as I have been regularly self medicating for quite some time so not sure how my symptoms have progressed if they have increased, or decreased.

I just don't want to have to deal with the family members talking about how mental I am behind my back......if I go that route, and well I am still quite uncomfortable with the idea myself.

Oh dear, I've been there myself. I still worry about this issue about jobs since in this day and age you've got to have a fancy degree and be literally both social and good at your skill although I have to say, I don't think people who are paid well are always great at what they do they just have their charm. As for SSI, be very careful. This system does not want you to have a history of jobs regardless if they paid below minimum wage or not but if you do get it, it would definitely benefit to get some free health care which imo isn't bad thing since healthcare is very hard afford as a working person. As I understand you have to be very patient with them. With some people it takes 2 rejections until they qualify.

As for working, I would find someone you can live with who can share both the rent, electricity etc. Someone whom you can get along with perhaps maybe even a family member if you can't find someone. Not that I'm saying there's never going to be a time if you haven't already lived on your own but with the way jobs are, it can be frustrating ie if you get laid off. They make it very tough even on the average person. But I don't want to discourage you. If you do decide to get SSI, you will have to stay away from jobs. I know that sounds crazy but the system is crazy. It would be nice if you had someone who could show you the ropes or help you in this process. I'm only speaking from the perspective of one who didn't come from a family who could help or assist me financially. With living arrangements however, my dad is the one I share my costs of living. We're on a very tight a budget and there are many things that I've had to do without but it's worked out pretty well. I would love to live on my own but with the way things are, I don't think that will happen anytime soon. Hope this helps. I wish I could be of more support since I know what it's like. I went homeless just trying to do it on my own and went through so much fear and self loathing. Try to stay strong and don't let this scare you to a point of ending your life. Get as much help as you can like you did here.

uhh and of course as I am freaking out about this, I find out I might be able to get a job having to do with painting, my dad could hook me up.......but it would pretty much be full time, and with the way my mental state is I don't know i could even handle that. But what really bothers me is how anxious trying to decide between addressing the mental issues or looking for work first or whatever...Its like my mind just wont process it and I just get anxious and end up not wanting to think about either.